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@warrenluther04

Hey, Warren (and mysterious person ;D)! I don’t write in science fiction but I would be happy to help!

First I want to say that I think the prologue is too short that it might be better to put it in chapter one. But I understand what you’re trying to do so I’ll say to make it longer by showing more than telling. Like maybe instead of writing “Some rain began to hit the plane” you could write, “The two heard a soft bang from above and when more followed their screen was covered in speeding raindrops” Probably not the best but I think it works.

With chapter one, I think you could cut out “Since there was no school” at least till later because at that moment we have no idea what time it is so to me I read it as he takes his bed to school XD.

By any chance do you mind detailing the house a bit more? I felt a bit confused. Your story events are interesting (but with the news section I think the music would’ve grabbed his attention more. Also, I think it was odd how the reporters laughed the whole thing off when a plane had gone missing with the possibility of someone in charge being not “sound of mind”)

Anyway, I think you have both done very well! Keep writing and hope to hear more soon 🙂