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(Tagging @libby and @h-jones who are amazing poets. :))

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I love them! And agree with @kb-writer …especially the second one. 🙂

So I have a couple suggestions for the first one and you can dump them or adopt them. 😉

The world is as an ocean.
It’s big, and dark, and violent.
I’m the foolish sailor caught in it’s waves.
How could I think I would survive
without your warmth, and sheltering love.

I love the idea behind this! So true and beautiful. I’m wondering though if you can be a bit more vivid in descriptions and the smiles to set to the mood and engage the reader. Here in the first section you compare the world to an ocean… “it’s big, and dark, and violent.” How is an ocean violent? Can you show that? Maybe something about the ocean lashing out and crashing into your boat? Or it spinning your boat and splashing salty froth in your eyes until they sting or drenching your clothes and making your shiver? I’m sure you could come up with some more example and pick one to use. 🙂

The word “big” is so often overused that it falls a bit flat for me. Could you find a different word that feels stronger and appeals to the mood? For example when something is “vast” it makes me feel overcome by it. I suddenly feel small, helpless, lonely.

I think you could also appeal to the reader’s sense of smelling and feeling. Back to the idea of including something about salt water. And even think about how incredibly humid and heavy the air is at sea, especially during a storm. It makes it hard to breath and you might be able to play around with that thought.

Remember though, that the point in vivid writing is not to dump paragraphs of descriptions on the reader, that quickly gets old and gets… disgusting, for lack of a better word. 😉 The goal is find that one golden sentence, unique and vivid, appealing to the senses and setting the mood, that brings it to life.

So those are some thoughts. Like I said though, you don’t have to take my advice. Sometimes it’s just a difference of taste. 🙂