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  • Katherine Baker replied to the topic Poem – Unfinished Letters in the forum Critiques 7 years, 5 months ago

    @maddiejay

    Thanks for thinking about it for/with me. I tried to mess with it a little before posting it here, but what I was doing didn’t quite work either. Here’s an edit I tried, if it helps you figure out what’s wrong:

    There is a tea stain on my desk,

    and a letter never sent.

    “Hello, how have you been?

    “I’ve missed you,

    “I’m sorry.”

    But try as I might,

    my pen doesn’t flow from my heart.

     

    There is mascara on her cheek

    and water in her eyes.

    A sentence or two flow through my lips:

    “I’m here for you,

    “I’m sorry.

    “Let me know how I can help.”

    I wish I could say it truly,

    but I feel empty inside.

     

    There is a silence in my soul

    and this time there are no words.

    But now I hear

    my heart crying.

     

    There are fingers on my keyboard

    and black pixels on the page.

    I start to see something in it all:

    A tea stain

    on my desk,

    mascara

    on her cheek,

    and silence

    in my soul,

    And that’s all that needs to be said. 

    The Lord speaks through the quiet

    when I have no words.

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