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papergirlsfb replied to the topic Dear Diary in the forum Critiques 7 years, 5 months ago
Hi everyone!
My name is Sylvie! I’m new, as you may’ve surmised. I put this in the announcements page by accident… oops! I still haven’t explored this website long enough 🙂
I’m in grade 9, and my goal is to have a published book by the end of grade 10. I’m doing half days at the highschool, because I was homeschooled since Jk. For english I’m using the One Year Adventure Novel curriculum, which I am loving.
I have two versions of the same chapter, and I don’t know which one I like better. I want Phillepe to seem like a snobby prince, and I feel like that shows more in the second version, but I don’t know if I should just snobb-ify (totally a word) him in the first version, use the second version, or just make a third version. I also haven’t quite smoothed out the bumps of copy/pasting it from evernote to google docs, and here, so sorry for the paragraph mistakes Also, I have quite a few mistakes, like capital letters, and wrong .,.,., whatever those are called, so don’t mind those either. I had edited it on a separate page, but I changed the name of one of my characters and I hadn’t switched it on the other one. Sorry!
I would love feedback and I won’t take anything the wrong way.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZR4zkJaY3QIT96r1z59vFPw8zHesfdITo2SEA9EMFKQ/edit?usp=sharing
Hopefully the link worked!
Thanks for reading my work! (Hopefully you read it: )
Sincerely,
Sylvie Berg












