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@r-j-karas, Wow, thank you for sharing your story with us! I almost cried reading it. 🙂

Here are my thoughts, take them or leave them: I feel like the time between when he becomes a merman and when he goes back to the shore is too brief. Like I didn’t get to see what he was really feeling during that time. Maybe there should have been more inner conflict? I don’t know. I’m sorry if I’m just rephrasing what Noah Litle said. 😛

I also noticed maybe a missing word in this line?

she let me the jewelry on her finger