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@steward-of-the-pen SO many good pointers! Thanks for helping me out with that. I like the idea of being concise and reworking the ending, first off. I came to that character development, and suddenly went: AAHH!! Not enough words left!! So yeah, whatever everyone can do to fix that, go right ahead. As for creating a unique voice, what if when everyone’s done editing the basic story, I could go back and try to change the language to make it sound more Shakespearean? That kind of language is pretty unique, right? I doubt any of the other guilds would try that. It’s really hard to pull off, but I’ve been practicing. (I have friends who like to talk that way.)

Also, whatever literary devices you think would fit, go ahead and use them!