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So my main character is this guy named Nahim (pronounced nay-him not nah-him). All of his friends and family died when he was 15-17 mostly. Since then, he’s gained one friend by the name of Mandin and later gains almost 52 others when he ends up in a squadron in the Space Squads called the Boomerangs. He was raised to believe in God but now doubts Him. I think he is a Christian but that is part of the headache, I’m not sure and neither is Nahim himself. He says stuff he doesn’t mean sometimes like he sometimes says “How do I know He even exists?” Down at heart he knows there is a god and he knows that it is THE God. I have a plan for if he is saved and if he is not, but which one?

Also, he doubts the Overall plan and just doubts God in general. He has been told the all things work together for good but that isn’t sufficient for him, it doesn’t satisfy. I know that their are people out their who have experienced this same thing so I would like your help.

I think some of the confusion is I myself lost my Grandma about a year ago, she was more precious to me than my own parents when she was alive. She was the one who truly planted Christ’s seed by her example. I myself am having trouble even now though I KNOW that I am a child of the One True. One of the main questions of my own is one that I think Nahim has himself, “Why did she die the way that she died?” She didn’t die peacefully in her sleep…I don’t even want to go into the details but the thing that hurts me to the heart is that she couldn’t speak the last few months, we couldn’t have that one last talk, we couldn’t hold hands as we prayed afterwards, she couldn’t pass on last bits of wisdom that are now lost with her. With Grandma died part of me and part of what I was. Nahim was created before all of the horrible happenings but more and more I have found myself more and more like him but different. I never can write straight from my heart but if I did, it would be sad, wistful for the past, and not able to trust the One who I so want to trust.

Replying to this topic will be for Nahim, but I still would like you guys to share your stories, your upsand downs, your hopes and dashed hopes, because I just feel alone.