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  • ScoutFinch190 replied to the topic Does my world have too many details? in the forum Fantasy Writers 3 years, 4 months ago

    Marian boarded the tram, rubbing her temples. She shouldn’t’ve left. That woman could’ve been pretending when she said she was his mother. Maybe the times she’d seen Vigga on screen her appearance had been so retouched that she looked older in real life than the artificially young personage. But even the pictures Fabian had of her on his watch she was looking her best, an ageless woman with a sharp face and sharper hair.

    “Why is that lady so pale?”

    At the childish voice, she pressed against the window, pulling her hood forward. Hoping they wouldn’t notice her unnatural eye color as well.

    Her mind wandered to Jake. Where would he be? Would the government, or the Institute, take him? Her gut twisted, her eyes teared up. Why did he have to be so disappointing when he could’ve been so much more? Her eyes filled with tears, remembering his reaction when she told him that. She’d seen that same hurt in different eyes before. Calling him disappointing would’ve never been the right thing to do… the truth could be given to him in gentler ways.

    The tram came to a stop, jolting everyone forward.

    As people began flooding in and out, a man shouldered past her, upsetting her hood. Her hair fell into her face and she pushed it back, fixing her hood and instantly knowing they’d seen her ears by the surge of hate stinking up the room. People narrowed their eyes, and she could hear their murmurs. A teenager flaunted a tattoo, which had a red ‘X’ over a person with cartoonishly large pointed ears, and a woman pulled her daughter close as the girl loudly asked if Marian was evil.

    She gritted her teeth and staggered out of the car as soon as the doors opened, even though it wasn’t her stop. Ramming her fists into her pockets, she was no stranger to being an outcast, but it still hurt.

    A twinge of pain clenched her heart. Her eyes welled with tears. She leaned against the wall in a sidestreet. She looked up, dimly seeing the outlines of the glass panels of the dome sectioning out the evening sky and protecting from the dry atmosphere and the massive creatures wandering the wastelands. Where would Jake be now? Was he going to be donated to the Institute? Enslaved on a thrid farm? She may not have a relationship with him anymore, but she still couldn’t bear to think of what he was going through. She pulled off her hood, rubbing her temples. And what had she even been thinking when she confronted him?

    There was a rustle of fabric.

    Marian’s heartbeat increased and she whirled to face a man dressed in long, flowing clothes of a bland, beige color. She gulped and her lungs constricted. She backed away, prepared to run.

    The entek glanced at her hair, frowning in disapproval. “Why do you disrespect your parentage?” he gave a derisive snort as his ultraviolet eyes scanned her clothes, “And dress like them?”

    “That’s not your business.”  There was a small, whining sound and Marian looked over her shoulder to see someone – no, something – fill the end of the alley that opened onto the luxurious street. She noticed a metallic gleam reflecting the lights, she went pale… a masked cyborg? It approached them, the light absorbing into its dark mask.

    Without a second thought, Marian grabbed her male counterpart’s hand, and dragged him after her as she dashed down the alley.

    Marian didn’t know how long they were running, but soon she saw the friendly glow of the shopping street coming from an alcove. They slowed, and entered, the far end from which the light streamed was blocked by a high fence. Marian and the man sagged against the wall, he wheezed, “I think we lost…”

    Marian nodded, “Just because I’m a…” she heard a faint whine, “Oh no.”

    The light went out, and the shadows around them started to move. Marian’s mouth went dry as cyborgs painted solid black but for a faint red symbol on their foreheads appeared from the shadows, completely surrounding them… she felt emotions of terror coming from them, but… they couldn’t be cyborgs. Their faces were covered. They had to be androids.

    As Marian drew her knife, one of them said in an eerily metallic voice, “Mauritius, you are under arrest.” But it didn’t say it, it sounded like the toneless voice one might find on an Android.

    The entek shook his head, “I-I never…

    But before he could justify himself, he was pinned against the wall, an android grabbing a fistful of his waist-length hair. She cringed as a needle was inserted into his neck and he went limp. Before he hit the ground, an android flung him over its shoulder, and they darted into the night.

    Marian shuddered, noticing the sky getting darker. Whatever those things were, she didn’t want to be caught. She began running.

    She was making good speed and was close to the tram when she collided with a man’s chest, knocking him onto his back. In horror, Marian noticed he was older, and hurried to help him pick up his fallen groceries, “I’m so sorry sir… are you alright?”

    “I was going to ask you that.” he adjusted his eyepatch, “By the way, your hood is down.”

    Marian forced it over her head, looking at him warily.

    He stood, dusting off his slacks. “I didn’t think anyone could run so fast…”

    Marian shook her head. “I was built a little different.” Noticing an angular tattoo on his temple, matching those of the androids that had kidnapped the entek but in black.

    He looked around before he lowered his voice, “Is someone chasing you?”

    Marian shook her head. Unsure whether to tell him the complete truth.

    “Are you sure you’re not in trouble?”

    Marian looked around, no sign of the ‘borgs. She shook her head. “I had a bad scare, that’s it.”

    He nodded, “Stick with me on the tram, I can make sure you’re safe until your stop.”

    Marian followed, as the doors closed behind them, she said, “Thank you, but I don’t really need protection… don’t you have to work or something?”

    “Given that I was finishing grocery-shopping, no, I’m not working. I have time to help you out.” he grabbed onto a pole as the tram started and the other passengers gave him sidelong glances. “There’s a lot of bad characters out at night… laborers from the underground and that kind of thing.”

    “I thought they didn’t come up here… don’t they hate it?”

    He shook his head, “Nah. A lot work nights up here… then get drunk.”

    “Thank you.”

    He nodded.

    Marian took in his appearance. Looking past the distracting tattoo and the eyepatch indicating he couldn’t afford a cybernetic eye, his close-cropped hair was light grey, and his remaining eye a sort of cool green very like Jake’s. She shook her head, maybe it was just her own emotions getting in the way of how she saw people.

    As the tram stopped, he disembarked with her, saying, “I didn’t catch your name.”

    “It’s Marian.” She bowed at the waist, wincing at a cramp.

    “Thought you’d give me a long-winded introduction.” He bowed back, “Leo.”

    “I didn’t think I’d meet a human with that name.”

    Leo smirked, “Didn’t know enteks used it.” he looked around. “You should be safe.” He bowed, saying, “I have to go, have a good night.”

    “You too.”

    As he walked away, her shoulders slumped, and she hurried home.

    As she entered her apartment, A cyborg lay sprawled on the couch, her silvery metal body reflecting the muted television where her arms and legs were exposed from under her shorts and t-shirt as she did something with a tool on her forearm. She sat up as a cat with a metal tail trotted over to Marian meowing. A little louder than most people felt comfortable with, She said, “Hey M! Like Stumpy’s new tail?”

    Marian removed her hoodie, muscles aching. “You added lights?”

    “Dosen’t it make him look fancy?”

    Stumpy saw his tail in his periphery, then proceeded to attack it.

    “I guess…” Marian muttered.

    Her roommate leapt to her feet and scooped up a small remote, turning Stumpy’s taillights off. “Looking forward to your week of freedom?”

    Marian shook her head, entering a small bathroom strewn with random beauty and maintenance products Tammi used. Marian picked up her half-empty bottle of muscle cream, rubbing it on her stomach, arms, and neck. It didn’t help that much with the soreness, but the placebo removed the edge.

    “How was that last trip?”

    Marian slumped on the far end of the couch, Stumpy hopping into her lap. “Met a strange man on the ride home. He had an eyepatch and a tattoo on his temple.”

    “Really?” Tammi straightened, one of the few times her posture was actually rigid. “Was he an undergrounder?”

    “Don’t think so.”

    “I also witnessed an arrest. An Entek got captured by some of these.” She touched Tammi’s hand, showing her the image.

    Tammi hissed through her teeth, “Yikes. You don’t have to worry about them… but yikes.”

    “What are they?”

    “New enforcers. They’re ‘borgs and that’s all I know.” Tammi leaned back, “Anyway, how was that last mission?”

    Marian sighed, looking down.

    “Well?”

    “I saw Jake.”

    “Oh.” Tammi wrinkled her nose, “Is he better? I mean, I saw the footage…”

    Marian leaned forward, hugging herself, “His mother gave him the surgery he needed.” She looked down at Stumpy’s mottled fur, running her fingers through it. “He grew out his hair.”

    “Wow. You saw your ex and all you say is that his hair is grown out.”

    Stumpy purred, his contentedness seeping into Marian. She sighed and leaned back, “Yeah.”

    Tammi turned her attention back to the news.

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