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Hi @calidris,

I think too often we miss the central issue of what Peter was saying:

He is pointing to the importance of having a beautiful soul and not just superficial and showing dress and outward adornments.

Some people may be coiffed to the nines, have a sharply cut and tailored suit, golden cuff links, a $200 haircut, clean shaven, with buffed and manicured fingernails, and be such an ugly person on the inside that does not comport with their outward appearance.

Remember where God’s focus is.  Two verses come to mind:
But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. [1 Samuel 16:7 KJV]

Do ye look on things after the outward appearance? If any man trust to himself that he is Christ’s, let him of himself think this again, that, as he [is] Christ’s, even so [are] we Christ’s. [2 Corinthians 10:7 KJV]

Peter is not prohibiting the wearing of nice clothes or jewelry, or a fancy hair-do, but is asserting that these should not be a woman’s primary source of beauty.

Too often women who desire to look attractive to men, may get caught up in those things thinking that their outward appearance is what makes them beautiful, but Peter is reminding them that a beautiful character, and a pure and loving heart should predominate and define what is or is not “beautiful”.

He is essentially saying be beautiful in what matters to God and in the place where He is focused, rather than trying merely to be beautiful in the shallow view of where human males look.

The principle thing is loving God most and considering that His view is on your heart and not your body.  When you take that understanding the pressure of trying to please males will be off of you, but that inner spark of light and freedom, knowing God loves your heart has a way of making its way outward in your countenance and behavior and in the settling of your spirit knowing you are His treasure and you need not live in the fear of being rejected by the foolish standards of men.

Does that help?

In the KJV version, it actually uses the word “heart”:

Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [1 Peter 3:3-4 KJV]