Activity

[Quietly steps in. Deposits pathetic writing snipping. Quietly steps out.]

…

Well, I may have some trouble keeping up with certain punks, but not today, because today I’m doing my own thing.

Okay, okay, so today I fell through a hole in reality. It’s not my fault. I was just walking along, minding my own business and all the sudden I trip and loose my smoke cloud and fall into a hole in reality.

So now I’m down to a cup of concentrated smoke – which doesn’t exactly fill a room well enough to see with – and apparently  smoking is “forbidden” and “rude” and “will destroy your lungs” and “will kill you.”

Yeah, so I don’t know about here, but from where I’m from, not being aware of your surroundings will kill you a lot faster than anything I smoke.

Except for Blue Moss – it’s only good for glowing in the dark and murdering people. I have almost smoked it before – smells really, really sweet.

Anyway I’m rambling. I tend to do that when I’m nervous. There, now that’s a thing you punks know.

Luckily, Umberuin is still in my hand – it was a scramble to find the staff after, ya’know, falling through a hole in reality.

And not just any hole – ho no my life is never that simple. Apparently, I’ve falling into a robbery.

“NO YOU IDIOTS YOU’LL DAMAGE THE WINDOW! IT COST ME ALMOST A MILLION!”

One horrific shattering later and I have glass in my hair.

Perfect.

I start cussing up a storm and trying to knock the shards out without cutting myself. (Unsuccessfully, in case you punks were wondering, very unsuccessfully.)

“Hey, can some punk help the blind guy out? Ya’know, before he accidentally kills himself?”

Because I am not dying after falling through a hole in reality, thank-you punks. Bigger things have tried to kill me. I’ve tried to kill bigger things. You ain’t special.

“Hello? Anyone?”

Greeaaaaaat, no I’m talking to an imaginary friend. Survived all of this only to be driven mad by falling through a hole in reality how do those even exist?!

“Alright, let’s take it from the top! Blind guy needs assistance avoiding the crazy people with guns and defenestration problems!”

Nothing. Really?

“I’m gonna count to three and if someone hasn’t helped me by then, I’m smoking this entire room.”