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  • Leon Fleming posted an update 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    @futuro You write poetry?

    • Yes, free verse why do you ask?

    • Since around 2014.

    • That’s when I started I guess.

    • Before you continue sending me messages you should know this I’ve done things, evil things before, I used to hate God that I mocked and twisted the Bible. Genesis is the first book of the Bible, but what if I were to put Satan’s first letter on it?

      Senesis 1, a free verse poem, 5/31/2016

      1 Behold, how good and pleasant it is
      when demonic servants work together in unity!
      To bring down the Christians.

      2 Satan, King of Hell had taken the form of a snake he then tempted Adam and Eve. To eat from the Tree of Life.

      3 Those who trust in the Darkness are like
      Demons, which cannot be destroyed, but survives forever.

      4 Even though the two mortals ate the fruit disobeying their God. God had come to the garden and put a curse on the Demonic King.

      5 “If your sons keep my covenant
      and my testimonies that I shall teach
      them, their sons also forever shall sit by my side in Hell.”

      That piece was going to be a for a book about like I guess my own religion or book project against God but then I never got to it that ended up being the only piece.

      So what do you think of me?

    • I realized I wanted more out of my life. I realized that God loved me. I realized I was the king of my life.

    • He chose me.

    • Letters? I’m confused about what you mean?

    • I still write some every now and then but only free verse poetry. I like it how they can be turned into songs easily I don’t turn them into songs but I have a different friend who likes to take my work and make songs. She sends me videos of what she came up with.

    • I think that is me or used to be me…an Oldman. I haven’t deleted because that’s part of my story, my life, I think it’s bad, that if I’m not careful how I live then I could return back to a crazy, delusional, self-focused, son of a bitch, who thought about murdering his own parents, sibilings, friends, but then that 14-year-old depressed boy was alone by himself back in 2014. So he grew on the idea and thought God hated him.

      I’m sorry but I understand he didn’t know much. I know a bit more.

    • My username is a nickname given to me on a mission trip. The leader…she likes to give nicknames to people she is traveling with. We’re going to Mexico but she couldn’t think of a Mexican nickname so she went with the last name of a German friend of hers…Sagastume or if translated it becomes Storm Story.

      Well, she somehow maybe God was at play…she got it perfect spot on. She doesn’t know me that much.

    • She said after she chose that if they could get me to tell stories it would be spectacular. Because in person I’m quiet. My stories would be storms.

      • Understandable. Dude, I’m only fourteen, alright? I’m not that great. But what I have is something that you might never have. I have the gift of eternal life. Given to me by God because I believed and placed my faith in Him. I’m not sure if you’re a Christian because of various reasons; one of which is you just cussed. Profanity is not a fruit of the spirit and in fact actually goes against God and the Bible. King David eventually had someone killed because that someone use profane language against him. Not saying that everything King David did was perfect, because it really wasn’t.
        As you may or may not know, I have viewpoints. And they don’t change or vary unless proven wrong. I have very strong convictions. And I will not be dissuaded easily. This is because my faith is built on the rock.
        When somebody places their faith in Jesus Christ and what he did on the cross, there is a complete and totally INSTANT transformation. That old, unbelieving, unrepentant person is obliterated from all existence. This is done by God. He declares them righteous because their sins were placed upon the cross and Christ’s righteousness is imputed to, within, upon them. There is a difference, and nothing can take them out of God’s righteous hand. They are kept, KEPT! Kept from eternal past, present, and future! They were chosen before the world even was made and finally, they are brought into close communion and relation to God. The holy God. THE. ONLY. GOD. I just read your poem about your plea for grace to envelope you, comfort you, protect you from the darts of the arrow. Sagastume, whatever your name is, Satan used you. Okay? When you were writing that thing up there that you posted to this page, it was a testimony of what Satan was using you for. You were one of his little instruments. But that can all change. Right here. Right now. You won’t have to worry about going back to that old, nagging sin. Trust me, bud. I know what it’s like. I hate sinning against my holy, perfect God. I hate it. But I, as a new creation in Him, HAVE THE ABILITY. NOT. TO. Sin. I don’t have to sin. I am His tool. I once was a slave to sin, but now I am a slave to righteousness, and I love this reality. I love living this life for Him.

      • Christians still sin. They cannot not sin. But they now can obey God because they have that ability.
        Unbelievers can’t obey Him because they don’t have the ability. They are slaves to sin.
        After a Christian is born again, spiritually, their spiritual sanctification is begun. Sanctification is the developing of a Christian until he/she dies. After they die, they go to Heaven and spend eternity with Him. They are fully formed and that is why there is no sin in Heaven. They are like the pot. As you may have heard of.

      • @w-o-holmes

        You’re fortunate…blessed to be you…blessed to have a more light felt path…when I was 14 (I’m 19 now)…well, I grew up in a Christian family. My father a Christian, my mother a Christian, my grandparents on my mother’s side Catholics though it was my parents who told me about God. My grandparents on my father’s side are Christian I or me and my siblings have aunts and uncles who are Buddhist. But I grew up mainly with my parent’s influence or religion. But I did not believe it I knew some of the stories about this God or Jesus. 2014, vacation trip but we get a phone call my Grandpa on my Mom’s side of the family got a heart attack. In that moment I “prayed” I used my thought or direct my thoughts thinking or asking a thing called God or Jesus…that I read about to save my Grandpa and if he does then I would believe.

        We get back, next day Grandpa dead from a stroke. I held in my pain that day. But as a 14 year-old I translated my Grandpa’s death that God didn’t want me because my prayer was that I would follow him if he saved my Grandpa. So when my Grandpa died I taught or myself or grew this idea that God didn’t want me, if he doesn’t want me he must hate me, and so I hated him. I became his enemy.

        Becoming his enemy…I knew what I must do…I must hate what he is absolutely, with an undying fury that would span through time and space! But reading the stories I knew I could not defeat him. So the next best thing was the Christians to hurt the Christians but soon as I grew my hatred and anger, hurting Christians idea grew to murdering the Christians because they carried the light (Holy Spirit). I believed or convinced myself that if I were to murder or kill them I would some how hurt God.

        Then I realized something…

        Christians go to Heaven when they die. I would be doing them a favor. In fact, I realized other rulers and empires tried to silence the faith and failed. Stalin, Mao, Hitler, Roman Empire, etc.
        But what if?! WHAT IF?! I do the opposite! I kill the non-Christians. Doom their souls to hell. But to grow what I had convinced was my family…I would expand Hell with another person expand my family because…I wanted to be part of God’s family but God didn’t want me so next best option was Hell.

        I would talk to myself at night but fall into different characters or demons or whatever about murdering the people who knew me. Because if I were to do this, if I were to like to raise a rebellion in America, or if I were to murder people I would first have to silence the people that knew me. My parents, my siblings, my family or bloodline, and my friends would all have to die first.

        I hated him so much that I began to write writings like the one above to twist the Bible to mock my enemy. I dreamed of an earth that was barren. Imagined that I had killed everyone then I would kill myself. I craved and wanted that earth.

        But the one thing that held me back was fear, wanting God to love me, and my pet hamster. I had murderous thoughts some not mine or some that surprised me that my mind wandered to them. One of them was to kill my hamster…that one I dismissed…I could never hurt my baby pet hamster…plus they don’t live that long I would be free from that thing later or so I thought.

        I was afraid of God…I trembled because if I did set my plan into motion he could very well stop me.

        I also, wanted God’s love, “Why did you love everyone but me?” I fell into porn ventured to something dark rape porn, and saw something called LGBT porn (that was gross). Each time was temporary pleasure followed by immense guilt and shame.

        I wanted God to love me but I also tried to sugar coat how dark I was…I started to say to myself, “That I am the light but dressed in dark and that God is the dark dressed in light,” I also, had an idea to kill of the non-Christians so the whole world will hear then God will come! That idea I was thinking I was some holy warrior for God that he would bless me.

        Because no matter path I took I thought God had planned this or foreseen this from the beginning. Also, some people like Rachel Joy Scott once said, “I don’t believe God wastes anything, even the bad stuff.”

        So some how if I did bad…which I probably would’ve done he would use it. So finally….

        Oh, I did curse God with the f word as a 14 year old, cursed the Holy Spirit with the f word. My parent taught me never to use it but they never said it was a sin or anything. Profanity was just me beating myself up and calling God names.

        My life is a mess I know some of these thought I’m having are wrong, part of me knew murder was wrong but that voice was small compared to the voice that wanted murder, depression happened because of me dwelling on sad things I became addicted to sadness, rape porn followed by guilt and shame.

        I finally was like I don’t want this. I don’t want to hurt people, I don’t want to kill people, and so finally 14 year old boy or I was 15 grabbed…loading a BB gun put it up to his temple squeezing on the trigger lightly. Then it happened!

        Once more thought came about life. “Who would write my writings? What would my parents think? What would happen to my parents, my sibilings?” Will I make them sad or depressed because of my death. Then I remembered a song I had listened to long ago…a Christian song by Francesca Battistelli…He Knows My Name…the music video…I remembered from that music video ladies speaking about their life how one of them looked at her life and she realized she wanted more out of her, another lady in the video said, “My world crashed and I didn’t know what to do…I hated myself and I was really disappointed with myself, and I thought horrible things.”

        I looked at my life. Realizing I wanted more out of it, I also didn’t want to make my family depressed or sad, I wanted to write still, talk with people on a writing website Figment (now deleted and replaced by Underlined), and I realized that he knew my name. I realized God loved me. I didn’t change or I didn’t…I didn’t become a Christian that day but I found out God does love me.

        I stilled sinned and had some hate in me still for sometime. But it was very, very dim.

        Finally, 2014 summer camp called Hume Lake with a new church. They want over King Saul or in the video series King Kael
        Forsaken (2017) – Full Movie with live opener

        They asked a question at camp, “Who is your king?” I examined myself I realized I was my own king…me selfish me…not God, not my writing, not another person but me only.

        August 13, 2017 I was tired of living life how I was and decided that I wanted to get Baptized. Which doesn’t necessarily mean anything besides a declaration to the community…at least how I understand it and that rising out of the water is like a new creation.

        2017-2018

        Was chill nothing bad really happened but I really didn’t grow…kind of stayed the same…I don’t really read my Bible. 2018, I sin again…back to porn…I hadn’t watched it in like months if I remember right…but I fell soon depression followed. I kept slipping without telling anyone. I realized something needed to happen but nothing was happening I was going in circles…finally a song came out by Amanda Lindsey Cook called Awakening. I realized I needed an awakening that I was asleep. That year I wrote my darkest journal entry ever.

        2019, I feel better but porn pops up here and there and I’ve found out a new weakness in me…disobeying my parents when they tell me not to play video games. That’s what I’m going through right now…those two things.

    • What about you? What do you think of your poetry?

      • My poetry is a living testimony of my faith. Whether glorifying Him through describing His wonderful works, or showing what is going on in my heart.

    • But since you’re curious about my work here is one of my most recent.

      Inspired by Flyleaf – Saving Grace

      SAVE ME GRACE!
      October 6, 2019

      Being fake again
      It’s suffocating me
      Living on the outside
      Dying on the inside
      I’m alone

      SAVE ME GRACE!
      I’m sick of wearing a mask
      Will you hold me close
      You’re all I want to know

      I know what I need to let go
      You know what you need to let go
      For me in this season of life
      I need to let go of two big things
      Rape porn
      Disobeying my parents
      For video games

      Could I fail again at this
      Probably because I’m only human

      SAVE ME GRACE!
      I’m sick of wearing a mask
      Will you hold me close
      You’re all I want to know

      Your love has carried me home
      Here I am because of your love
      I might have a happy ever after
      Your love has carried me home
      Here I am because of your love
      I might have a happy ever after
      I might have a happy ever after

      I might be able to live
      I think I can start again
      I believe I can survive
      Survive this pain
      I think I won’t have regrets in the end

      SAVE ME GRACE!
      I’m sick of wearing a mask
      Will you hold me close
      You’re all I want to know
      SAVE ME GRACE!
      I’m sick of wearing a mask
      Will you hold me close
      You’re all I want to know

      You’re the only thing I need

      • Man, you won’t find comfort in the world. You’ll only find it in Him. Depression leads to demoralization which leads to rash behaviour and other deeper sin. The world is totally depraved. They want comfort. They don’t want to hear about their guilt and sin. They hate Christianity and God.
        There is a serious difference in the world. The people are divided. Believers and nonbelievers. The nonbelievers hate the believers, and that not because of the believers themselves, but because of Christ within them. The world sees it and spits them out. Christians leave a dirty taste in their mouths and their hearts are hardened. But some hear and believe. And they are the ones who are saved. All glory be to God.

    • So now you see my story or a good, good chunk of it. Quite interesting, I’m guessing I’m the first person who’ve met online or maybe just the first person you’ve met in general that has a story about wanting to murder everyone on the world. Maybe that’s why I Hitler and I are the same in some regard, I tried to convince myself I was better than Hitler but Hitler murdered around 6 million jews I would’ve…assuming because young me, broken me, confused me, delusional me, and messed up me thought everything would go to plan for the most part…he murdered 6 million Jews I would’ve…again assuming if I had succeeded…which the probability of that is zero to none but I would’ve committed genocide against everyone.

      But thankfully that never happened the person I am today looks back and ex-me or used to be me and is shocked but also some understanding…I was young and I made poor choices and thought up ridiculous-evil ideas.

      But I will tell you what I did I murdered everyone in my heart.

      • I’m not that person. I believe today that I am a Christian…but not the best or even a good one for example you’ve read the Bible more than me already I can see that, second, where I meet God most is through Christian rock music (so yeah another reason why I don’t pick up the Bible…but I know I should but I still don’t get to it), third, I actually can’t think of a third one at the moment…

        Do I appear not to be a Christian? Do I seem to be kind of missing a step? It’s good you’re young and reading it, memorizing it, believing in God at a young age I’m…not jealous but in aw.

    • aw was the wrong word…I was thinking more along the terms of…respect. I respect you.

    • I find it poetic how you’re fourteen in the light. And at fourteen for me I chose the dark side. 19 me? I’m trying to get on to the Jesus Freak train party with others. You probably ask what I mean by that? Good question, on fire for God. I know he exists moments, I believe he exists, but I won’t don’t or have a hard time with is porn. It’s a thorn. I try to get it out of my flesh but it sink under another layer of my skin…dormant? Waiting? Then I’m hit by it again? I’ve prayed to God several times now total (about 7 times) for him to take it from me but it doesn’t go away or there seems to be no answer from God yet and I get really angry. When I get angry at God my mind set quickly starts falling into hating him again.

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