Activity

Ok! Deepest regret…

*Me: sorry Ehud*

*Me; EHUD WON’T TALK TO ME HE WON’T STOP SOBBING I’M SORRY MY BABYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭*

Content warning: Toxic family, violence, cussing (*** out but…) oh and mention of drugs

 

Ehud was in shock, or he would’ve been screaming at Lord Castle. But he was completely in shock. Ku…

And then one after another over and over and over. He was already sobbing before the Castle turned to him. He was mad, he was completely helpless to comfort anybody and he was trapped here. He couldn’t help anybody he couldn’t help anybody why couldn’t he help anybody!?!?!

“Ehud Marrion Hubert, divulge your deepest regret.”

“Gwaahhhh c’mon, I changed my last name!!” And pretended his middle name didn’t exist, it was embarrassing. “Can’t you just call me Ehud Gale?”

(*Me, who’s spent like 3 years writing this character wondering what his full name actually was and if he had one: 0.0…I can see why you never told me😆*)

The restraints clicked open and Ehud scrambled out, tripping on himself in the process. The first thing he did was careened into closest person – happened to be Kit – and hugged him.

10

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry guys…” He stammered, hugging EVERYBODY and apologizing. It wasn’t fair!!! It wasn’t fair that they had to endure that, that everybody had to know about it now without their permission or anything it was so wrong.

.

.

.

.

9

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

8

.

.

.

.

.

7

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He skidded to Ku, cradled in Abirami’s arms. Ehud opened his mouth to say something, but ended up tearing up more, fidgeting with his hands nervously. He tried to say something again, and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered “I’m so so sorry…”

He shrank a couple inches, not sure what to say, and then knelt beside Ku. Normally he really was just all over his friends he never thought about hugging and holding hands but…it suddenly occurred him that it might…he might…that might remind her…

She stiffened when he’d hugged her before had he triggered her? How many times had he casually hugged somebody and-?

.

.

.

.

6

.

.

.

.

.

5

.

.

.

.

.

“Um…can I…can I touch you hand?” He blinked, staring completely uncertainly at her. It didn’t change anything between them she was his friend that’s all that mattered, but he didn’t know how to comfort her and that scared him. He felt so useless and worthless not being able to help.

He waited until she nodded a little and very very gently touched her fingers.

“You’re not de…dirtied or…or defiled or anything by him! He can’t make you any less pure…he’s the defiled, dirty coward.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

4

.

.

.

.

.

“S-sorry, I mean…I…I’m sorry…” He burst into angry tears, wanting to kill the man who’d hurt his friend. He just couldn’t-couldn’t think of anything to say that would make it any better. He was so mad and hurt.

.

.

.

.

.

.

3

.

.

.

.

.

.

2

.

.

.

.

.

1

“You’re a wonderful, perfectful, really cool person Ku!” Ehud blurted, squeezing her hand a little and sobbing even harder.

Then the stage lit up.

“Huh…OH!!” Ehud yelped and glanced up. “Uh…” He started counting on his fingers and scratching his head.

“When I accidentally blew up the chemistry class…? Stole the science teacher’s pencil?”

It opened up to a dingy apartment stacked with piles of random odds and ins, “toys” which were blocks of wood and shards of glass, all painted pink with bits of blue here and there.

Ehud froze and bit his sleeve.

“Okok!!! I regret stealing!!” It didn’t stop. “A lot? I regret stealing a lot!?! It’s a medical condition I’m trying!!!” He squeaked.

In the middle of the room a blond, bright-eyed little boy scribbled an angry face on a discarded doorknob with a pink marker. Another little boy – his older brother, picked out loosely gun-shaped piece of railing and grinned mischievously.

‘Don’t you dare shoot me unarmed! You’ll make Mr Knobby mad!’ He squealed, toppling on his brother with the angry doorknob, play whacking him.

‘Bang! I shot you, Ehud! You have to die now!!’

‘No! You shot a- a piece of- a robot of me!’

‘But I shot you with a bazooka the whole room exploded! Die!!’

Ehud mechanically smacked his brother in the chest with the doorknob. ‘Stab! I killed you first!!’

The door slammed open and both the children froze. Ehud saw Dad’s threadbare shoes first, half patched and mismatched. He smelled worst than horrible and the boy didn’t even dare look at his face before Enoch yanked him back, dragging him through a shard of glass in the process.

 

‘Don’t worry, Mom likes you more so she’ll get custody if it gets to a divorce.’

‘They won’t do that will they?

‘Enoch…?’

 

Dad bought him a toy compass at the fair, when he promised to stay straight and narrow. Well…he said he bought it, Ehud didn’t know maybe he was just spending money so nobody else could get it.

Ehud never meant to steal anything, he just…clung to everything. If nobody stopped him they didn’t really want it right? He did it in plain sight. He was just nervous and it was all in plain sight, it felt exciting, exhilarating to get away with it. He never got away with anything, or at least, it never really made sense what he did or didn’t get punished for it all depended on everyone’s mood at the moment. One minute they were a big happy family one minute he was dead if he sneezed too loud.

 

“I regret stealing, I regret being a difficult kid!!” Ehud cried “Stop stop please stop!”

 

There was shouting on the other side of the door and Ehud didn’t dare walk past to his bedroom. So he just stood there, clutching a patched teddybear in his hands.

‘I can’t believe you! You don’t care about me-!’

‘Honey, honey-‘

‘Don’t you dare ‘honey’ me, you don’t care about anything but you and your drug money-!’

‘That’s not true I lo-‘

‘I’m done! I can’t imagine even you sinking that low.’ The door flung open and Ehud yelped and tried to duck into a corner but they both saw him.

 

“I didn’t mean to steal anything I just wanted something I could hold on to, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Ehud squeezed his head between his knuckles and rocked back and forth, sobbing.

 

‘How long have you been listening in, you little brat!?’ Dad snapped, looming over him like a terrifying monster. He looked so scary and he’d hit things when he was high, Ehud thought he was going to be murdered.

‘Don’t you yell at my son!’ She said, patting his head. He knew she wouldn’t have defended him if they hadn’t been arguing but he clung to that one sign of affection like it was all the world. She ruffled his hair a little, wiping a tear off his cheek with her thumb.

‘At least he loves me.’ She spat venomously. A look like hatred came across Dad’s face, staring down at him.

 

Time past and sometimes Dad was more and more unpredictable. Sometimes his best friend and sometimes couldn’t stand his existence. Ehud just wanted to hang onto any sort of love, cling to it like he could somehow keep it, if he tried hard enough they’d love him? Things would be ok again?

 

‘Where’s Mom?’ Everything was quiet at the breakfast table after that. Dad said she’d probably be back in a couple days. He didn’t say anything about why she left.

Unwanted Child.

The worst thing he felt was…relief. No more arguments, no more shouting through the closed door. No more noise. Nobody talked about it, like ignoring it made it go away.

The first few days he thought she just needed space, she’d come back. Of course she’d come back, she never even said goodbye to him. He waiting at the front door every night so he’d be the first one to see her come back.

Unwanted Child.

He clung to every item she’d had that she left behind.

After a week or two, Dad stopped any bravado about now they could do whatever they wanted with the dishes and chores and party and stay up late. After that he’d be gone late nights. His brother always locked the doors when he left.

 

“I regret not being a better person, I regret being the reason everybody left me.” Ehud whimpered, begging it to stop, burying his face in his jacket.

 

The was a banging on the door and Dad was screaming to be left in, amiably at first, barely coherent.

His brother wouldn’t let him open the door.

Dad didn’t stop screaming, pretty soon he started cursing. Threatening to kill them, to burn the house down, to cut their fingers off. Enoch told him to plug his ears and start singing, but Ehud didn’t really, he tried to but instead he just curled in a corner squeezing his teddybear.

‘It’s that little b****’s son isn’t it!?! It’s all your fault you thieving little brat you have to take everything don’t you!?!’

‘Come on, Ehud, grab everything you can carry, ok?’ Enoch tugged him up by the shoulders and squeezed.

‘Where we going? We’re not going out there are we!?’ You’re not kicking me out, are you? He didn’t say that outloud, he just gripped his teddybear tighter.

‘I donno and we’re taking the Secret Passage, we’ll be ok he doesn’t have the keys he’ll just keep screaming at the door.’

‘What if he kills us?’ Ehud asked, wide-eyed. His brother looked him in the eye with deadening seriousness.

‘I’ll kill him first.’ He said, sounding completely like an adult.

 

‘Enoch?’ Ehud fumbled with his teddybear, trailing behind his brother and touting a pile of toys, canned foods, cloths and knickknacks all wrapped in blankets like a knapsack.

‘Yeah?’

‘Why’d Mom leave?’ He fiddled with a torn patch in the stuffy, popping a ring in and out of the hole.

‘Dad sold Mom’s wedding ring for drugs. I wish she’d taken us with her.’

Ehud froze, holding the little diamond ring between his fingers.