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I’m a bit embarrassed to say that as a girl myself, I can’t write a female character that doesn’t come off as a strong female character. And not the good type. Sure, I can write a great guy character–they’re more inside the realm of my capacity to understand the human brain–but female characters? Nope.

Anndddd I just happen to have a female lead in my fantasy trilogy. Technically, a guy is still the MC…. but she’s a Very Important Character Who Cannot Be Killed and I have no idea how to write her without making me want to kill her.

Hence my need for assistance. So meet Avyrnia De Exceleste, Heir to the Eastern Throne and pirate princess herself, everyone. She’s short, has plain brown hair that does not curl no matter what you do, an immense amount of freckles that you wonder how they all manage to fit on her face without turning her skin a shade darker entirely, and a temper as short as her list of living relatives. (Which is…. none. Unless you count the family butler, who’s family has been with her family for many generations. The pay is good, he’s not leaving.)

She’s rash, immune to insults(unless it’s about her poor attempts at fitting in with society or her swordsmanship, or her height), and very opinionated about tall people. (She thinks they should give their extra height to people like herself who are stuck at a miserable 5′ 4″ for the rest of their life.) She’s also incredibly stubborn yet sympathetic towards those fighting for a higher cause…….

…. And she’s incredibly boring. She sounds cool, sure. (And her little romance is adorable and I will ship it for life, even if it never gets published) But when I’m actually writing her…. she’s dry. Sassy, but more in the violent and annoying kind of way than the fun, bantering kind of way. (She’s actually pretty rude.)

The problem is…. I have no idea how to fix this. I need people to care about her, and to like her, because she’s one of the four main characters. If people don’t like her(if I don’t like her), it could severely hurt the book. Not just sales wise, but how much I like it and how proud I am of this achievement of mine. Because if I can’t stand on of my own main characters…. then I certainly won’t be able to stand publishing it until it’s fixed. And I’d like to publish it before I’m 63.

It’s not entirely that I don’t like her, even. It’s just that I literally have written from a dude’s POV my entire life, and now when I have to write a girl’s POV I have no idea how. Truth be told, I find most female MC’s incredibly annoying. It’s a major turn off, in some cases. (Sure, some guy POV’s are just as annoying, but generally girls are more so to me.) Maybe it’s just the way people expect girls to be nowadays–either whiny, blonde, and stuck up, or introverted, wears glasses, and smart, or tough, strong, and incredibly insulting. (They’re all hot, though.) Guys, while still very cliched(funny, extroverted, and gentle vs. dark-haired, traumatic past and possibly a vampire but still always hot), and don’t wonder about the state of their shoes or theorize on binary(WhO DoES THiS) while being chased by zombies. (Sure, that’s poor writing….. but there’s a lot of poor writing.) Also…… every girl MC ever is either incredible, or incredibly average(not). And while guy MC’s are as well, at least there’s a little more variation since, you know, guys actually have to be able to do something so they can protect their hot girlfriends and save the world at the same time.

So. Rant over. I hate cliched characters, we all know that now. But now it’s your turn to come help me fix my annoying little brat of a child running around causing chaos in my story. (Dreadful, honestly.)

(Help.)