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These are just my thoughts, take them if they’re helpful.

In this situation, I don’t think suicide really “atones” for anything. Not the way she might think, not when you break it down. If she does kill herself, the only thing it’s doing is erasing the possibility of her hurting anyone else. But it doesn’t change or “make up for” anything she’s done in the past. She can only do that herself, if she is still alive. Suicide is “the easy way out” the people who were hurt by her actions aren’t going to be unhurt.

And maybe she can’t help them living either. But she can do other things. Try to help others, others who may not receive help if not for her, vulnerable people, people who may be struggling with the same issues she had and probably still is to some extent. Some of the most powerful help people can give is when someone has been through the same thing and come out of it, and can encourage their fellows in what actually worked and helped for them. At least in my experience.

It is an interesting question to ponder. I have a character who’s in a similar situation, except for the setting. Because of her personality, she swore she wouldn’t destroy herself, but would use the abilities that she had to save people who would otherwise be left to die, instead of hurting anyone or taking her own life. She had not found Grace at the point in which she made that resolution, but it was something that worked for her until she did. It’s still an idea of somehow “repaying” for her crimes, instead of finding Grace that covers, but it was the thing that kept her alive to that point.

And it sounds like the contrast you’re working with here is guilt vs. Grace. It’s definitely a struggle, but finding that Grace should be a thing she can cling to, even when the darkness seems oppressive. (Please note I’m not trying to say she shouldn’t ever feel suicidal again because Grace covers all. Depression and suicide is something even believers can still struggle with, and I’ve had personal experience with that. But it is something that can be clung to, through the difficulty.)

Also, as far as a happy ending goes, it depends on how you define that. If the character is at peace with their punishment, even that can be a happy ending of sorts. (Spoilers, but see Crime and Punishment for proof of that.) It depends on how you do it, but it is possible to be happy, even with an ending that is the main character being punished for their pre-Grace past.

Not sure if any of that is helpful, but hopefully there’s something in there you can use.