Activity

I LOVED this story! It is right up my alley.

1. Characters. What do you think? Though there is quite the cast with the family and Aeldń, but you did a great job of giving them all a place in the scene without overwhelming the reader with descriptions and bouncing dialog. I like Ashtwyn’s character and her journey in this scene, and I REALLY want to know more about Aeldn!

2. Pacing. Do things take too long? Is there too much introspection and melodrama? There is A LOT of internal dialog that feels a bit over dramatic. If that is what you are going for with her character, or in this story in general, it is well done, just a bit OVER done for me. Not sure I can give specific parts to change or dial back, because the whole piece reads smoothly. The portion with her and the initial meeting with the dragon read long, perhaps because there was no action to balance out the descriptions? I was also unsure about some of the internal dialog. Why is some of it in italics and some not? Perhaps you have established the reason for this in previous sections, but I was very confused and it threw me out. Again, it was A LOT of internal dialog. Perhaps altering it to be more clearly introspective rather than direct statements to someone they may or may not be speaking to?

3. Setting. Should I describe things more, or is the setting clear? The setting was perfect. Perhaps add some scents and sounds when they are climbing the stairs?

4. How mad are you because of the plot twist? I can explain, if you’ve got a bunch of questions. Not sure what the plot twist was…I fully expected her to be enchanted by the dragon’s ‘abilities’ after Aeldn explained what he could do. And that she would believe him (the dragon) to be the prince come to save her. But – I read a ton of similar fantasy romance tropes, so…yeah. They’re my jam. =)

There is more to this, right? RIGHT?!