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Jacy posted an update in the group Mystery/Suspense/Thriller Writers 6 years ago
Hey everyone, I just joined! I need some help because I’m stuck with a scene in my story that’s supposed to be creepy, suspenseful, and interesting but feels kind of flat. I need some tips for adding excitement. So my two main characters are teenagers June and April who are sisters. They’re helping an old woman clean out her victorian mansion when April (the younger one) disappears. June decides to explore the areas of the mansion she’s never been in before looking for her. She’s also curious about a creeking noise she keeps hearing from that area of the house. I know June is going to find April in the attic on the floor tied and gagged. But I’m having trouble writing June’s trip through the secret passages, rooms, and doorways. I want it to be suspenseful but like I said it falls flat. I’m not sure how to describe it other than, “She opened a door, climbed a staircase, heard the noise again, opened another door……..” and it’s boring. Can anyone help me?
Thanks!
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Hey! My name is Katja. I just joined as well, but I understand what you are struggling with. One thing that seems to help me is to draw out a map of where she is going. If you are just imagining her walking, walking until you decide that’s enough and then, boom she’s there it might not work so well. Planning out how much time you want to pass, how many rooms and doors she goes through might help. Also you don’t only have to say “she opened a door”. What about, “June shakily reached out her hand and turned the doorknob slowly. The door gave a loud groan in protest as she pushed it open.” I don’t know if you are writing in first or third person, but I hope this helps!