Activity

I think the second blurb is AMAZING!  (Jealous.)  I did, however, see a few structural snags.

Each question / list is better as it’s own paragraph.  Example:

“Have you ever run in terror from your perfect past?

“Do you dare to kill the Immortal or bring back the dead?

“Are your dreams filled with damnation?

“Or has the offer of a free wish broken your soul?”

In the last paragraph: you switch the 1st and 3rd person.  It’s better to go:

“Then let me tell you a story.

“A bard offered a young man the chance to destroy the Songkiller and preserve the world. It’s only looking back that he perceived devilry of the song that made them fools. The monsters they fought bore their faces.”

And – personally – I would cut out a few sentences (read this understanding my current obsession is micro- and flash-fiction ^.^).

Blurbs are hard, but yours TOTALLY piques my interest!

Is it safe to assume the story is first person?  What tense is the book in?