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@h-jones Oh help… This topic… GREAT TOPIC!!! Just the title is bringing back memories of my early days on SE… *wobbles a bit on my cane*

There was another similar thread like this last year, which was great, but this is slightly different and I’m never not interested in this topic!! 😉

So… The question is on true love/romance.

Well, I’ve just skimmed through what everybody else said, and I think there’s some great stuff up there from what I saw, but I’ll give some thoughts on it.

So, to start out, what is love? I believe love is an action, and 1 Corinthians 13 does a fantastic job defining for us in clear terms what the action of love looks like. Love is a choice.

Now, as far as romantic love… that is one of the most sacred and precious of dreams that I have. I describe it as a glassed off room in my heart that I can look into and dream about but I can’t go in. It is indeed in my mind at least, a beautiful, wonderful, precious thing.

As far as relationships go with that… Well, first I would mention Frodo and Sam as an illustration, not because it’s romantic (if anybody says that it is, I will personally whack them with my cane) but because of it’s beauty. So right of the bat, even friendship of that level is a beautiful thing! But I think that when it’s that way between a guy and a girl (romantically) it’s on an even deeper level. I do think that there’s something special and different in that relationship that you don’t get in any other relationship.

I think I’m starting to confuse myself because I have so many thoughts on this, but I think I finally figured out where I’m going with this. XD Sorry, my brain is going swimming right now or something, for some reason my head feels really weird right now, but O.K. It’ll get out of the pool later. Hopefully soon because this is distracting. (Note I have worked on this at several different times today, and my head is done swimming, now my fingers just need to thaw out from being outside too long in the cold). XD

First, ask yourself why you would want to be married? Several reasons come to my mind:

1. Humans for the most part naturally desire to be married. I could be wrong, and I’m sure there are people who want it more than others (like the people who live to get married). For the most part however, people want to be married. It’s just a part of human nature.

2. I think the core of wanting to be married is to have somebody that sticks with you through life. You have that covenant with them, and in marriage, you get a team that works together beautifully. The guy is stronger, the defender while the girl is weaker, needs to be protected (sorry ladies, yes we do) and is a source of strength for the guy. I think in the deepest parts of our natures, girls want to be protected and guys want to protect. I’m not saying that this is the way everybody feels, but I think that it is largely there.

3. Marriage is the relationship in which we are the best known (aside from our relationship with Christ). It is a relationship in which you are no longer alone (just think about why we use the word single), you belong to someone and they belong to you. I think that most people want to go through life with someone who won’t leave.

I may be missing a ton of stuff, but those are some ideas that come to mind.

Now to your other question…

Yes. I believe that God has a particular person in mind if it’s in his will for you to marry. I do believe that, that’s why I can pray for my future spouse (if God gives me one) even though I don’t know who that will be. Can I mess that up? Well… Technically, yes, I believe that I can mess it up. I mean, if you really wanted to, you could probably walk down to the nearest town and find somebody willing to marry you *shudders*. Yes, I believe that you can do the deed, but if you’re smart, will you do it is more the question in my mind.

Well, I think several thinks can help protect you against that. Keep in mind, sometimes good girls do marry a looser, or the guy (or girl for that matter) ends up changing for some reason or another later on, I’m not saying this is perfect advice, and just remember you’ll still marry a man with a sin nature, nobody’s perfect. 😉

1. Keep your parents involved. Parents have good sniffers for sorting out who’s a scum bag and who’s a keeper. 😉

2. Know what he’s like by what other people say. Does he have an all around good reputation?

3. Keep your list of qualifications together. Just because there’s 100 great guys out there doesn’t mean that any of them are good for you. Here’s some questions to ask yourself about a guy. 😉

* Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person?

* Does this person’s personality fit mine?

* Do I just have stars in my eyes? Do I really see what he’s like? Trust your gut instincts. 😉

* Could I follow this person and the way God is leading them/will lead them for the rest of my life?

* What are their life goals/ideas/philosophies/etc. If they don’t match up with yours… That could be biggies down the road.

And this list could go on. 😉

So, finally after all that rambling, on writing romance. XD

I absolutely believe that when this happens, it is beautiful. I could say so much more, but this is already getting so long. XD Anyway writing it. I think I’m sort of intuitively able to write romances. I don’t know why, I think I’m just wired to pick up human emotions pretty easily, not perfectly but rather easily. Advice though… I think just keep in mind what people have said, that romance is more than a feeling. Yes, feelings are there, but love is a choice. Pay close attention to your favorite romances, the ones that really have you dancing circles in your room because it was so heartwarming/wrenching.

Also, remember that love is not always a beautiful act in and of itself. Sometimes the actions that love requires are ugly, but that makes the beauty of love shine all the brighter. My mom nearly died in the hospital three years ago after the birth of my youngest sister. My dad’s routine was along the lines of take care of my mom at the hospital all day and take care of a newborn at night. It was not a fun experience as added to that stress was that he didn’t know whether my mom was going to make it or not. What was one of the most touching things was that when he came home one evening, he got out his guitar and made a video of him singing 500 Miles (the Stephen Curtis Chapman version) for my mom and put it on Facebook for her.

Love requires sacrifice, that’s what makes true love beautiful is that when you love someone, you are choosing to love them and not yourself.

Welp, I hope some of that ramble was helpful! It made me feel very nostalgic… I might have to go hunt up that old thread on writing romance to die of laughter over some of the discussion that went on there…