Activity

Here are my thoughts concerning Aefflaed’s Weakness:

*Spoiler alert!*

Thank you for putting the pronunciation guide at the front!

It was very easy for me to slip into Aefflaed’s skin in the beginning. The prose there quickly made that connection. This connection continued throughout most of the book, and it was very easy for me to relate to her (though maybe that’s a bit helped by me being in training to become a homeopathic doctor and having had issues with self-confidence and “worthiness”). I liked Aefflaed’s character. Her personality and struggles felt real.

Now I have a question. Why did those siblings need to argue so much in the beginning? I get wanting to show Aefflaed’s life and neighbors, but this scene just came off as weird and rather irrelevant.

Aeffaed gets pulled into adventure because she won’t leave her patient, and hey, maybe she thinks he’s kind of cute. Not bad reasons. However, it seems just too easy for her to leave her manuin patients and run off into the wild blue yonder. Why is she so determined to not leave her patient? What happened in her past that led up to this? There’s a lot of potential for more depth and internal conflict here.

Aefflaed and Hannium’s relationship dynamics are pretty interesting. Bonus, the romance doesn’t make me gag or roll my eyes. I’m curious, though. Given Aefflaed’s past, wouldn’t it be possible that Hannium’s temper could trigger bad memories for her?

Your description, humor, and suspense/action are all good. The stakes and danger rise nicely. Only thing I’d change is making more use of ominous rumors about Cairbre’s ability to make essence backfire swirling around. That diamond incident was amusing, perhaps because I knew what was up beforehand 😂.

I did have to read Nicte and Yaxin’s apology twice for it to make sense. I think that’s a wording issue; you mentioned Nicte’s name but in the same sentence had Yaxkin (unnamed) step forward and apologize.

I love all the fantastic animals in this story. Unfortunately, the tannink’esh description was long and confusing. Don’t get me wrong; I love description. This one just needs some more work. And…frog-like toad? Those two creatures are so similar that I’d recommend something like: “slime oozed from the warts on the massive toad.” No mention of frogs. Double brownie points if the slime is healing or toxic XD.

Now for the king. I could tell he was a type/shadow of God/Jesus. I noted his qualities of kindness, intensity, wisdom, and wrath. My only problem here is that these characteristics vascillate too much in him, making him seem erratic.

I love the parallel character arcs of Aefflaed and Hannium.

I am glad that the battle wasn’t unnecessarily gory. However, Aefflaed’s investment in it needs to be shown more. Giving her a goal to achieve during the battle would repair its dullness.

Just wanting to make sure: did Cairbre’s curse not really seem to affect Aefflaed (at least physically) because it targeted essence use, and she had none? That is a great way of turning her “weakness” into a strength, if so.

The climax of Aefflaed’s character arc was done well. It’s not really about earning forgiveness or forgiving oneself, but about trusting the One who has chosen and forgiven.

The ending is very sweet, and it satisfied me.

Overall, Aefflaed’s Weakness is better than some published books I’ve read. I may have seemed nitpicky or harsh, so I’ll tell you why. This story is gold. If it weren’t that good, I wouldn’t notice all these little things.

 

@jared-williams