Activity

Finally I’m getting around to everyone’s pieces. I want to finish critiquing for September before I post October’s.

First of all, I just, simply love this piece that you posted. It’s..just…so…I don’t know…I just really like it. You kept the story flowing, and made me want to keep on reading, to find out what happens next.

Flow- It flowed really well. I could follow just about everything. Except when you got to the part with the new character names. My brain was trying to see if it should remember them for future reference. Also, some of the dialogue sounds a bit unnatural, but if the characters all speak differently, then it was fine.

Prose- I think part of the reason why I really like your piece is because your prose sounds a lot like mine. You style and way of describing things….eerily similar to myself, except I tend to go overboard with describing character appearances.

Character- It’s too early for me to like Kirin, though I do find him interesting and engaging. You’re done a pretty good job developing him, so far, though.

And now I just really want to read the rest of your book. You’d better finish it up!