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Hey everyone,

Below is my critique piece for September. A short story of mine for a contest a while ago. I know there’s a lot of telling, but I wanted to stay kind of detached for this one. I would like critique on:

-Emotion. What does this piece make you feel?

-Clarity. How clear is the story? Can you get it? What do you think happened?

-Characters. How well do I portray the characters?

-Style. What do you like about my writing voice, and what not about it? (Again, I used telling a lot in this story.)

-Storyline. Is there anything you would change about the storyline?

-Setting. Were the settings for the story appropriate?

-Theme. do you think that there is a theme in this story? What would you say it is?

-And any other general comments.

Here is the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17Cj_YenNDMC8zrl2G-hn9K3zdzIiaYKM3nSS_lFC3v0/edit?usp=sharing

Hope that works.

Thank you! And I will try my best to get around to everyone else’s pieces.