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Candide started the topic Short story in need of critics in the forum Critiques 6 years, 8 months ago
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Pink Maristela</p>
She had upon her a pair of blue eyes. Shoulders. Hands. Smile. He had fallen.But Maristela was in panic. Shy and talkative, she went on telling her ideas to change the world (at least, sharing some succesful experiences on smaller tasks).
– Why do you close your eyes while you talk? He asked. (M. sudently remembered her caca-d’oie green eyes)
– I’m nervous. (M. sitted better at the branch). It’s not allways I have the chance to talk about something that I love.
– Why? What happens to you? (L. is really close)
– There is a lot of rejection about the way I live. During the classes, on media, even in day-by-day mettings people say someting though. It hurts. I often fell like living inside a box.
– O, really? (L. wants to save she. Despite said “feminism” minutes ago).
– People treats me very comom as if I were guilty of the same mistakes that the ones who are similitar to me had done.
– You mean mistakes like that guy on the video…
– Yes. That’s it.
– I think it’s too complicated.
– I don’t. It’s all a test. I won’ give up due to any idiot who had messed things up.
– But I saw my father beating my mother with a Bible on his hand more than once. He was a fake.
– Your father – if he really had read his Bible – didn’t understand anything. He should have started by psalms.
– That part with poetry?
– Where there is verses like: “Let slanders not be stablished in the land; may disaster hunt down men of violence.
– What? (L. is not smilling)
– The guy who wrote this was really angry and he didn’ hide that from to God. That’s what He wants.
– Is it anything to do with “beautiful” prayers?
– At all.
We heard the birds. There were trees full of purple flowers, hot air almost getting cold. Everything went goldening. Then, traces of pink clouds apeared in the soft purple sky. The wind was blowing smoothly.
– If you had a chance to ask something direct to God, what would be?
Stonned blue.
– Why, man, why all?












