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  • calidris replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 3 years, 9 months ago

    @inkhorn @jared-williams I’m going to change a few things from Val’s POV!

    @inkhorn feel free to change Conroy’s parts 🙂

    “What’s your name?”

    “I can’t tell my name to strangers,” the boy answers abruptly.  I pause.  Is this some kind of joke?

    “Alright then.  What would you like me to call you?”

    “You can call me CF if you want.”

    CF?

    I squint down at him.  “Are those your initials?”  The  boy – CF, I guess – suddenly freezes.

    “Um, no. They stand for cool…friend.”

    Huh?”  I choke back a laugh.  You’ve got some nerve, little guy. “Okay then, CF.  I’m Valencia.”

    “Nice to meet you Miss Valencia,” CF mumbles.  He throws a suspicious glance around the hall, scrunching up his face as he turns back to face me.

    “Isn’t this a test?” he mutters.  I squint back at him. “Is what a test?”  I raise my brows as he shoots me a rather vicious glare.

    “You don’t have to keep up the act. We all know that this is a test, and that I failed it. Remember, no names.”

    What?

    “Congratulation, you’re a great actress. Now, can we please just get over the humiliation and let me go home?”

    I snort.  Great actress?  I’m not sure about that one.

    “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I’m not the one preventing you from going home.”

    “I told you; you don’t have to pretend anymore. The test is over. Once someone guesses at my identity and gets close, I fail, and the test is over.”

    “Um, this isn’t a test.  Listen CF, you’re – we’re – in a completely different world, right?”  CF scoffs.

    “This is a new one. Can I just leave, please? I know what I’ve done wrong, won’t do it again, and would really like to not be made into a lesson.”

    I shrug.  “You can leave if you want.  It’s not like I’m forcing you to chat or anything.   But if you’re talking about leaving leaving…I think that would be next to impossible.  You’re not where you think you are.  You are in a different world.  I wish I was joking, but that’s the truth.”

    CF stares down at the floor. “So, I’m in a different world.”

    I nod slowly.  “Yeah,”

    “And there’s no way I can go home.”

    “Unfortunately,”

    “But I’m still not telling you my name.”  I sigh.

    “That’s up to you, I guess.”

    I fidget in the silence.  That was awkward.  I guess I shouldn’t be worrying about what children think of me, but I can’t help but feel self conscious.  I gaze down at my nails, absently running my thumb across their worn edges.

    “I like your hair. It looks nice. Most girls I know have one half of their hair chopped short. Actually, all the girls have their hair like that. Anyway, how old are you? And do you like singing?”

    I glance up.  “Huh?  Oh, thanks!”  Well, that sounds rather odd.  “Um, I’m nineteen.  I guess I don’t really like singing.  What about you?”

    I’ve taken a few lessons, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be comfortable with the idea of singing in public.  Maybe if I lived all alone, with no one to hear or judge me.  I’m just too tired of having my voice picked apart and analyzed – too loud, too soft, too flat, too panicked, too…

    “Hi, I’m Abirami. I’m from the world of Kaphar.  Really, do all the girls from where you are from have Mohawks?”  I turn around to see a young man from our party – I think it’s the guy who keeps transforming into strange creatures-

    “Um…” CF throws him a wild glance.  Yeah.  About that…

    The man looks down and sighs.  He…forgot?  I don’t get it – how do you even forget your clothes?

    CF stares back at him.  “Um… not Mohawks. Just half their head is bald. Are you a bouncer, or something? And,” he laughs, pointing at the side of his face. “Nice make-up.”

    “Huh?”  I tilt my head down at him.

    “Make-up?” Abirami asks.

    “Your ears,” CF grins and reaches out, like he’s actually going to try and touch the poor guy’s ears.  I curl my lip.  Has anyone ever taught you manners?  The idea of being touched without permission makes me want to gag.

    “These aren’t fake,” Abirami says, leaning down. “They’re my real ears.”

    “Okay,” CF laughs.  I flinch as he suddenly reaches out and grabs Abirami’s ear.  He quickly ducks away, but somehow he doesn’t seem terribly offended.  I step back.  I’m not sure what I’d do if he tried pulling that on me, but I don’t think it’d be pleasant.  Is it ok to slap a kid?  It certainly sounds awful, but so is touching people without permission.  Anyways, I don’t know if I would actually slap a kid or not, and I’d really rather not find out.

    “You shouldn’t go around touching people like that, CF.  And he’s not faking it, if that’s what you’re wondering.  I saw him disappear, so he’s certainly not human-”

    “You mean magic?”  I shrug.

    “It’s essence,” Abirami says.  He shoots him a confused glance.  “What’s… mah jick?”

    CF stares at him, unconvinced.  “Right.”

    A sudden explosion tears through the air, rocking the floor beneath us.  I stumble with a yelp, hands flying to my ears.  What in blazes?

    An impossibly tall figure looms in what used to be a doorway, brandishing a flaming sword.  I flinch back as he strides into the hall, sheathing his sword with a flourish.  He’s absolutely terrifying, with heavy dark armor and…wait…there’s something kind of pink in front of him-

    NO.

    Kit is poised in front of him, head thrown back like he’s showing off at a party.  He’s facing away from me, but I can practically see the lazy grin plastered over his face

    The absolute gall of this idiot. 

    Panic tears through my veins, blurring my senses in a muddy haze.  I know he’s challenging him right now – I’ve seen it too many times back home.  And he’s obviously outclassed – I know he’s got a gun, but this guy is heavily armored and obviously far more experienced.  I don’t know what the blazes Kit is doing out there, but he’s going to die if he doesn’t quit it soon…

    Panic claws it’s way up my throat, crushing my chest in it’s thorny grip.  If Kit gets killed…

    I flinch back as Abirami steps in front of me and CF, blood thundering in my ears.  I think he’s going to try and intervene…

    I dig my nails into my palm, barely registering the pain over the cold numbness spreading over my whole body.  “Hey, umm…Abirami.”  He stares back at me, and I let my gaze flicker away. “Just…make sure he doesn’t get too beat up, ok?”

    He steps into the aisle and jumps, suddenly turning into that winged, wolf-like form I’d seen before.  I hear CF cry out with apparent excitement, but it barely registers.  I yank a chair from under the table and collapse into the seat.

     

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