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Ok! Critique @sparrowhawke!
1. Is there anything that stood out to you as intriguing about this scene?
The strange writing was very interesting how it was integrated into the plot/characters. It had plenty of mystery and promise attached to it and made me want to keep listening.

2. What would you say the mood was of this scene?
Tense, but also routine like establishing the character normal before setting off on the adventure.

3. What character(s) in this scene would you like to know more about?
The POV character, he seems to bleed trauma. His level of jadedness and his assumption that everyone hates him gives me the sense that he’s still reeling under out-of-control circumstances and uncertain responsibilities. I also wondered somewhere in there where his parents were and if they were still alive.

4. Which character, if any, do you feel the most empathy toward in this scene alone?
I feel plenty of empathy for the main character; on the surface he rather sounds like a bratty teen but I get the sense he’s very passionate about his beliefs and is quite fond of his mentor. It makes me wonder how his circumstances have effected him and why he’s so out of touch with his own emotions.

5.Which of the following, as a reader, do you wish I had developed more fully in this scene?
a. Setting
b. Character thoughts and motivations
c. Character appearance and/or mood expressions
C and a; the setting really doesn’t need much or else it’d hamper the flow of the scene, but I would like to know more where they are and why. I also would be interested in knowing more about his appearance/mannerisms and how reflective they are of his personality.

6. Do you feel that the dialogue in this scene flows or is mechanical and stilted?
The dialogue was quite vivid and alive and it showed a lot of personality.

8. Did this scene make you want to read more scenes? (Why or why not?)
Yes absolutely, I want to know more about their situation and why he had the audacity to steal his mentor’s resolve. He just really screams trauma to me or that he hasn’t had time to adjust to this dangerous situation yet.