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@samantha-pen
I have a hard time leaving comments on my phone, so I’ll just post my overall thoughts here.

Let me start by saying, overall, I really like this! It’s definitely a good start.

I have a few questions and I think fleshing them out would really help this story shine, and still wouldn’t leave you with a super long story.

So I had no clue the POV was a girl. So I would try to slip that in sooner so we have a solid idea who’s head we are in.

It felt a little jarring to hear all about her sister who died, when really that had no bearing on the story. The main point is her friend is still stuck a slave, but we spend a lot of time reminiscing about Izzy.

So her friend is African, what is Audrey? The names of her family didn’t really clue me in to any nationality. Where is she from? Did she meet him on the ship or did they know each other before?

There seemed to be hints of romance, but nothing that I could really solidly grasp. So if there is romance, maybe put something in there definitely.

And then on the very end…I know it was supposed to be a wonderful faith in God moment, but I just didn’t get it. He said he had real freedom…was he not saved before that? He knew the Bible. It just felt very perfect and a little bit too heavy on the preaching side. I think they still could have came to the conclusion that God was with them and would help them, while letting the raw emotion of HES GOING TO BE A SLAVE LIKELY FOREVER really come through.

None of this is meant as harsh, because I really did like the story. Really, the whole first three quarters of it is pretty darn good with just a few minor detail tweaks and insertions. And the ending can definitely be saved, but I just really think you need to let their emotions and thoughts work, so the reader cares. As it is right now, I was really caring about them. She’s gonna get the land, it’s gonna be great, they’ll all be free. Then all the sudden it’s like oh no! He’s still a slave…oh but I guess they’re ok with it, the end. You know what I mean? I was so invested in them and then it just wraps up so easily like everything is awful, but they’re happy.

I hope you find some of this helpful. Great start!