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As for me, I’m doing okay. Kind of in the same boat, I guess. xD I think it’s really like, a different combination of all sorts of complicated things… hard to explain. Bwaaaahahaha I’m reminding myself so much of Kester right now though. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree x’D

I think the main thing is that I really, really need to be prayed for. :’) I’m kind of at a sort of place where I don’t trust myself to think because I think that my emotions and/or intrusive thoughts are the voice of God, which is honestly not fun. And then I get mad at “God,” or what I think is God… if that makes sense. Which makes it all worse. Because it’s like. I. Can’t get mad at God? Like what the heck is wrong with me? This is not okay??? Which makes me feel like he’s looking down on me with criticism and just

*deep breaths in through the nose*

Kinda makes it hard to read the bible because every time he, like, talks about anything he disapproves of, I kind of just like feel attacked like

idk

It’s hard, I ain’t gonna lie x’D and the worst of it is that I really prefer to ignore my problems than confront them ahahahahaaha

so there’s that x’D but I’m still trying to read the bible and trying to make myself realize that I don’t need to kick myself when I’m down because that only makes it worse i guess, but I also don’t need to think that god owes me something for all the times I’ve punished myself

I’m like, battling between ridiculous pride and ridiculous self-hate, I suppose

ack

sorRY FOR THE FLOOD OF WORDS xDDDDDD likE I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PROCESS THIS OR TAKE IT SERIOUSLY EITHER, LIKE I CAN’T TAKE MY OWN PROBLEMS SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS

plus my brain is already fried from comic-ing x’D