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@jenWriter17 Awesome! 😀 I like how you pointed out how the bark felt to Gwen. I also liked that you used thoughts to show how she felt about the “miserable lot of tiny humans.” XD That’s fantastic.

One way you might be able to sharpen the piece is to point out a few details in Gwen’s surroundings that only she would see. She’s in a certain mood, and that mood is going to affect what she notices. Her backstory that you hinted at is also going to affect what she sees as well.

For instance, a normal person might see the shining sun and laughing children and think all is well. But Gwen is angry and sad. She’s lost everything. Perhaps she notices the laughing children, but she also sees the careless parents failing to watch over the little ones. She might notice the happy sun, but her eyes are drawn to the shadows it casts where a kidnapper or attacker could hide. Maybe, instead of seeing the playground as a land of fun, she sees every slide and set of monkey bars as a potential danger, a way the children could get hurt. Based on a character’s backstory and mood, they’re going to notice things others would not.

I suppose I should have included that in the main message, huh? 😉 Thanks so much for posting! 😀 *hands you the first commenter award, which is in the form of a golden flower*