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@jenwriter17 @libby @faith_blum @storyjoy @whatever-guild-members-i-may-be-forgetting

Hallo, all. (: Soooo… well, I’d like to ask for prayer too. Blerp. It’s been a relatively rough couple of weeks, at least concerning my faith.

Ugh. It’s so rough because for some reason I can’t seem to shake the idea that I’m not “good enough” for God, or something… like nothing I do is pleasing to Him. So now, when I think of God, I don’t feel overwhelmed with love and adoration like I feel I should… I just feel constricted, and scared, and undeserving and angry and upset. Which is like the WORST way to react when thinking about God, and I know it is, and I’ve been praying to come out of it. It’s just… a lot harder than I expected. ^^”

To clarify, I know in my head that none of these things are true. God loves me and wants the best for me – yes, He hates my sin, but He loves me and wants to bring me out of sin. I know this. But I guess I just… I haven’t been renewing my mind as much as I should be, and the same old thoughts keep attacking and blah blah blah, same ol’ same ol’, it’s just a repetitive cycle.

I know that if I just really, really tried hard, I could probably pick myself up out of it and shake it off and move on with my life. It’s just, ugh, it’s so hard. I hate it that I so badly want to come to God, but my own misconceptions and thoughts and ideas seem to be keeping me away. It’s completely exhausting.

But at the same time, God is so good and He really is doing a lot in my life!! So not is all lost. I see God moving even now. He is wonderful and is leading me and my family to great things!! It’s all so exciting.

Alas, I still would genuinely appreciate prayer. (: And… yeah. I think that’s it. P: