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@taylorclogston

Interesting. Here’s my thoughts:

– If I understand correctly, it seems that your main character is a mind hive (as opposed to a hive mind). Which is fair enough, but the only thing it raises the question of is “Whose character arc is it?” Is it Artorius’? Then is there a moment where he acknowledges the harm his pride/brashness has done? I mean sure, he regrets that Circe had fallen, but is there ever a point where he realizes “Huh….you know, maybe I have been a jerk” as a prelude to full on repentance. Something that comes to mind is from the parable of the prodigal son, when in Luke 15:17 the guy, after riotous living, has a moment “when he came to his senses”.  And then in verse 18, he says “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you” (emphasis added). If you’re looking to stretch out the character arc over all three books, that’s fine; but at least a moment where he begins to realize and accept responsibility for his sin, whether that be a “this is my fault” or his defense of his actions faltering as he realizes his critics have a point.

– It feels like whoever the character arc is about should at least be around in the first scene, since Artorius feels like a separate enough character from Timothy that it’s a bit jarring to have him only be talked about in detail halfway through the book (assuming that Artorius’ character is the main arc).

– I like how the character’s abilities were related to their personalities; hats off to you for that.