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  • Grace replied to the topic Ethryndal Day in the forum Annual Theme Discussion 7 years, 6 months ago

    @ethryndal I enjoyed Sley’s POV! The tavern scene was engaging and showed the strength of the world you’ve built.

    One thing that occurred to me was that the transition from Sley’s scolding his men to helping out the beggar child (at the beginning of the chapter) seemed a little odd, but I can see how you want to show how he’s not that bad. It just seemed to be an abrupt change of character/feeling — something that would make more sense would be to have him angry and reluctant after speaking to Talliq, and then grudgingly tossing a coin to the child he saw in need. (I don’t think that’s what you were going for, but it’s a train of thought that makes more sense to me.) So I guess his motives in helping the boy at the beginning of the chapter were a little confusing to me, since he thinks both “I’m going to kill someone” and then helps the boy almost in the same breath. His interaction with the girl later feels a bit smoother, though.

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