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@eden-anderson I think that the author you’re quoting is right, but that you’re also right in choosing a theme for your story. Let me explain:

DeMarinis is right when he says that the idea of having a theme can sort of cram your story into a place where it’s not supposed to be. If you force yourself to have a certain theme that is not what your story is about, then it will hurt your overall process.

(*cough* me for the past several months)

However, if you do have a theme that is in line with the heart of your story, then you build off that theme in everything — character arcs, minor character arcs, plot events. Because at that point, the theme and what your story is about are one and the same, and that’s what everything in the story will be about.

My own recent experience with this is that I was trying to develop a story into five different things at once until I didn’t like it anymore. A few days ago, I took a step back and realized that the story was really about the friendship between three major characters. I should have started with a plot mainly based around these characters, even if I had not been able to state my theme concisely: Is friendship a means to an end? No, friendship is a treasure. 

I had spent a lot of time wrangling with topics like love, betrayal, self-sacrifice, and materialism, but none of them quite summed up what I was looking for in the friendship between these three characters. Now although I have yet to know what my plot is going to be, I know what it’s about, and that will help me write it.

So I would encourage you to think about what your story is about. What is the heart of your story, the one thing about it that resonates with you? That’s what’s important to know, even if you don’t know how to express it yet.

I hope my rambling made some sense.