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@karthmin 1. Clarity. The story takes a moment to get into, but the reader is able to catch on quickly. It seems like you spent a lot of time world building; it sounds fascinating.

2. Melodrama. I haven’t really encountered melodrama much, so I’m not really sure what it’s like, but I think your story’s fine.

3. The ratio between dialogue and setting description is fine. it seems like you use a lot of dialogue towards the end, but at the beginning you mixed the description in pretty well.

4. This story’s pretty interesting. Right now I just want to know more about the backstory of each of the characters and everything. I think that if you were to turn it into a longer story you could change the dialogue at the end into action; creating emotion would be more effective that way than just telling. All in all I think you did a good job of creating an older style type of story, and your world building is fantastic. I hope that you’ll decide to expand it!