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calidris replied to the topic Character Castle 2.0 in the forum Fantasy Writers 3 years, 9 months ago
@ethan-leonard @jared-williams I’m going to change Kit’s part a little bit – for the sake of his dignity (and his chance with Val) I’m going to have to tone down his stupidity XD He’s hotheaded and impulsive in his own story too, but it’s in a much more modern setting so…idk how real any of this really is to him tbh. I’m going to try and prod him back in character – he’s actually pretty chivalrous in his own world (hard to believe, I know XD), but then again he also exists to create chaos at any given opportunity so…we’ll see how he cooperates
I do think it’s relevant that when an escaped super-soldier accidentally broke into Kit and his brothers’ apartment, he chased him up a cabinet and hurled cans of beans at him until he cried, so…take that as you will XD
Kit:
I stiffen as the man leans toward me. Don’t flinch, don’t flinch, don’t-
“I…am…SAEVUS!” I jump back as he lifts his arms, flames leaping from the seams of his armor. Fire and smoke blaze around him, wreathing him in a shifting veil of flame.
I raise an eyebrow.
Cool? I guess? I’m not really sure what the whole point is here, but I guess it’s kind of flashy?
I mean, I guess if I could set myself on fire for fun I’d be showing off too, but this is definitely supposed to be a threat. Part of me feels like he’s bluffing – he’s still just standing there, doing absolutely nothing – but I’m not about to find out. I shrug and back away.
“It’s quite impressive, I’ll admit. I bet you could do some really cool stunts with that kind of…uhh…talent!”
Ever consider joining a circus? That’s the question that was burning on the tip of my tongue, but I guess that’s hardly a good way to de-escalate this situation. I shoot him a dazzling grin and flick my hand in farewell.
“Anyways, pleasure to meet you…Saevus. I’ll be taking my leave now.” I’ve only just turned to leave when an earsplitting roar rips through the air, shaking the chandelier above us. My heart lurches as a giant animal tears past me and vomits some sort of liquid ice onto the giant showoff guy- I mean Saevus- dousing the flames shooting through his armor.
I stumble backwards, chest clenched with some mix of growing panic and relief. I think this creature is rescuing me? At least, I hope so – it’s scary, but kind of cool too – like a giant wolf with wings and terrifyingly sharp claws. It’s so familiar…have I seen it in here before?
I wonder if it’s fur is soft…you think it likes pets?“I will make you my pet, beast!” With a roar, Saevus swings his sword at the wolf, splintering the wall above him. I pull my coat over my mouth as dust and stone cascade down, thickening the air into a choking haze. With a wave from Saevus, the air clears, and I feel painfully exposed. I scramble across the debris, desperate to escape this mess – my mess, I guess. I did escalate it after all. Still, I wasn’t expecting it to get this bad, and there’s really not much more I can do at this point-
Unless…
The wolf shoots into the air as flames erupt beneath. ”No!” a woman yells. “Absolutely not.” I whip around to see a girl standing right beside Saevus, hands on her hips. What?
“If you can’t tell, we’re in the middle of an event here. Stop that this instant and sit down. You can do whatever you want afterwards.” My heart skips a beat. I can’t BELIEVE she’s out here confronting him like that – she’s right up in his face, and she hasn’t even flinched! She kind of reminds me of someone back home, like maybe Cousin Rosemary, or…or…
Eli.
I grin.
Now that’s scary.
I want to leave, but my eyes are glued to the scene – well…actually to the girl. She looks so strong, and yet so vulnerable here – she’s just an ordinary human like me, alone and completely unarmed except for sheer spite and force of will.
“Quiet, wench!” Saevus rages. He throws a hand at her, shooting flames from his iron gauntlet. The girl screams as it hits her cheek, falling back from the force of the flames. I don’t want to, but I can’t help but stare in a mix of horror and growing fury. That kind of burn could leave her disfigured for life – or even blinded! There has to be something I can do – I mean, I did kind of start the issue to begin with, after all. But what?
I flinch as a deafening roar shakes the hall. Glass tumbles from the remains of the chandelier, shattering around me as I dive for cover. I slip behind a pillar, peering out at the carnage. Almost instinctively, my hand flies to my hip, fingers locking around the grip of my revolver. But is there any use? He’s heavily armored after all – really only a slit of room on his face for even the slightest, tiniest chance of a good hit. I grit my teeth.
How obnoxious.
That slit in his helmet though…
I’d never be able to get a clean shot, of course, but that bullet might knock a chunk out of the mask, or maybe-
NO.
It’s lead, so it’s going to explode into a melted balloon of metal on that mask. I’m not sure if it’ll hurt him too bad, given that he’s not looking entirely human at this point, but it’d sure be obnoxious. I wonder if I can lodge it on the edge of that slit – like a perpetual hangnail, but w o r s e
I grin. Now that would be annoying! If it’s bad enough, he might even take it off entirely – like to get a good look at it. At his own peril, of course.
I creep up behind him, keeping a good distance, hand locked around the gun. If I get too close, it could ricochet right off of him and hit someone, which is the last thing I want right now. I flinch back as more fire shoots across the floor. This one will be tricky.
I survey my surroundings. Just about everyone’s fled by now, except the injured girl and that wolf lookin’ critter – now perched on a pillar.
I draw the revolver, aiming for that T-shaped slit in his helmet. I grit my teeth, finger firmly locked beside the trigger – can’t have any accidental shootings here. I’ve got a clear shot now, and no one’s in the way, but the blazing idiot just won’t stop moving.
“Oh can you please just stand still already?” I groan.
Come on, come on, come on-
Saevus pauses, staring straight at me – he must’ve heard my voice or something. I grin back at him.
BANG.
“Gotcha!” There’s a hot chunk of lead on his helmet alright! I barely have time to register my little victory before his sword comes crashing down besides me. I jump out of the way, blood thundering in my head. Well yikes!
The wolf suddenly crashes into Saevus from behind, claws slicing through his armor like a hot knife through butter. I stumble back as the creature thrashes, wings pumping in the dusty air.
“See to Jade,” it howls, eyes locking my gaze with feverish intensity.
“Huh? Wait, me?” That animal…talks? But even more important-
“WHO THE BLAZES IS JADE?” I shrink back into the wreckage, throwing a desperate glance around the ruined amphitheater. There’s a girl way in the back picking across the debris – could that be Jade?
WAIT
Yeah, that’s the girl who Saevus attacked, and I’m guessing she’s the one I’ve been assigned to protect. I start picking my way across the wreck, tentatively climbing over flipped tables and splintered wood. The fire and noise from the fight starts to slip away, and right now I can just see the girl – Jade – and the absolute minefield of wreckage between us. I quickly sidestep a smoldering patch of rubble, stumbling on a loose piece of stone. My heart lurches as I suddenly slip. I wince as my ankle twists in a pocket of debris, pain slicing through the joint like millions of tiny little knives. There’s a clear patch up ahead, and all I have to do is just-
I gasp as the floor suddenly lurches under me. The hall flips, convulsing in waves of shattered stone. My heart drops as my feet slips out from under me. For a split second, I’m free falling in the dusty air, with nothing above or below or around me – I’m falling and before I know it I’m going to smash right into the-
I choke as icy water crashes around me, sucking the air out of my lungs. I squeeze my eyes shut, gasping and coughing for breath, and then before I know it the room wheels around me and I’m falling all over again…
I tentatively open my eyes. The auditorium before me looks perfect, like nothing had ever happened. There’s a stage in front of us, and a sea of pristine tables. I’m sitting at one right now – dry and completely intact. Candles flicker on the soft white table cloth, glimmering in spotless glasses of red wine. I rub my eyes. Was this all a dream?
I glance down absently – Hey where’d my rings go? And my coat’s gone too! I can tell I’m wearing a crisp black suit now, a real expensive one too, but I really wish I could actually see what I look like. I can tell that my hair’s been brushed back, away from my eyes, and I can no longer feel the pressure of the hard onyx studs in my ears. I shift in my seat. There’s certain parts of my wardrobe that are a constant – like my coat and jewelry – and I feel exposed without them. I no longer have the revolver either, which is worrying, and my wallet’s disappeared with my old clothes.
I glance around the table nervously. There’s a couple of kids here, one blond kid and the girl with green skin. And to my right?
My heart skips a beat as Val glances up at me, nervously tucking a loose curl behind her ear. Her raven hair is braided in a regal up do, pinned back with a delicate gold hairpiece and scattered with sprays of fragile white flowers. She chews her lip – stained a soft burgundy, perfectly matching her shimmering evening gown. I flush and suddenly look away, heart pounding. For once, I feel completely and utterly under dressed for the occasion. And out of all the times I could look this plain, why did it have to happen when Val looks so stunning?
Something shiny on my lapel catches my eye. It’s a little boutonniere – a spray of white flowers like in Valencia’s hair, delicately wrapped with fragile gold.
That’s the kind of thing couples do together, and I’m pretty sure if I were to ask Val back in Spire she’d say no.
My shoulders drop.
What a cruel joke.
I barely glance up as a voice booms through the auditorium.
“In honor of Ku’Aya’s birthday, the castle proudly presents…. the dance of flocking secrets.”
*sighs* so…I guess Kit didn’t feel terribly cooperative after all
I have never actually shot a revolver, and I am not terribly knowledgeable about guns, but I tried to do a little research XD I’m pretty sure Kit’s ploy was incredibly dangerous, but it’s a character castle after all, so I’m not too concerned. Feel free to change anything that’s inaccurate, and feel free to change your characters too!










