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@calidris

Personally, if it’s because of trauma…I’d be inclined to say no?  I think it depends on what the reasoning is.  If they’re not interested because they’re afraid, I’d say that’s (first of all terribly sad), but it’s also (in theory) reversible if they heal.  But then there’s some characters who might’ve been put off of it by trauma, but might not be interested even if they completely healed.

I think for most of my characters its not fear based, its kind of just a mindset of, I have more important responsibilities so that is not in my future sort of thing. Honestly they would all be capable of romance and attraction were it not for the truama. For example – Mayra, Finbar, Liadán and Daire have all basically been exposed to the terrors of war and genocide, and then after that forms of abuse and prejudice, so I think they more or less feel that they are incapable of love or attraction. They are part of the rebellion against the ones in power, so in a way their mindset is that we will give our lives so that others can live. Aka unconsciously sacrifice any hint of attraction or desire for physical intimacy for the greater good. And I emphasise the word unconscious because it was never a vocalised unanimous decision, it was simply a subsequent result of being born into a war none of them asked for.

First of all, that is A LOT of trauma and I’m honestly impressed

It is a lot haha, sometimes I wonder am I totally aware of what I have signed up for. But to be honest, all my characters are a study of the human psyche, because each of them react differently to truama. And there is also a character who I will not name but he/she has a negative character arc. Like a downward spiral arc similar to Anakin Skywalker or Eren Yeager. It’s not easy knowing the dark path my character will choose, its gonna be hard, but I really want to do it.

Second of all, Mayra’s story in particular really, really fascinates me because I actually do have some knowledge about this!  This might be really, really hard, but I think you might want to consider listening to or reading stories of abuse victims, because I think this is pretty common among people who’ve been abused (especially in childhood).  Idk if you can stomach it, because I know I sure couldn’t, but if it’s something you think you could handle it might be really insightful!

Yeah I do agree with that point, I have done some research into abuse victims and I will continue to do that. It is hard to do it, but at this rate, there is honestly so much evil in this world I kind of have to stomach it. This is my personal view, you can disagree with me of course, but in my opinion, if I am not willing to confront the worst of humanity then I am choosing to live inside a safe bubble. I know people who are like oh no I can’t watch films about nazi germany its just so awful I can’t stomach it. I mean I do understand that. But there’s a reason those films are always being made, its because we should never allow ourselves to forget about what happened or avoid the topic when it suits us. And I think today it is so so easy to just brush a topic aside, like oh yes thats very tragic, by the way did you hear about that new restaurant in town, I heard its great! I’m not saying everyone is like that, I’m just saying that this world makes it easy for us to look over things. Those are my thoughts on that anyway 🙂

Idk how much you know already, but people can get locked into a fight or flight response because of physical and/or emotional trauma.  One thing that a lot of people don’t know is that trauma sometimes isn’t so much one horrific event as it is a collection of experiences.  There’s people who might think they’re doing fine because they were never abused, but continued bad experiences can absolutely wear at your body, and people can and will end up with trauma responses just from that continuous wearing.  And it’s so hard to heal if you can’t escape from the situation.  Obviously, your characters are in a continuous string of horrific, traumatic events, so imagine how much more that would affect them!

Yes that certainly sounds like most of my characters!

Then, if your characters are neurodivergent or disabled, that could also add another layer onto the circumstantial trauma, since people might not bother to listen to them or try and understand things from their perspective.  If they’re neurodivergent, there’s a good chance they perceived the events differently than a neurotypcal person would.  I think you once mentioned Mayra having a type of aphasia?  I don’t know much about it, so I don’t know if that would effect things.  But, say if she were autistic, she might have been manipulated or used repeatedly because she had trouble reading the social cues that would’ve tipped most people off to untrustworthy behavior.  Idk if you have any other disabled or neurodivergent characters, but it’s definitely interesting to keep in mind!

Thats a very good point actually! Yes she does have a mild form of aphasia, meaning she has trouble speaking and coming up with responses. I have to say I have not considered that angle before. Generally she is being used and manipulated because of many reasons. Firstly, she has this core belief that she has to serve the powerful in order to survive. Secondly, she feels obliged to be loyal and grateful to her benefactor/abuser because he picked her up off the streets and gave her a ‘home’. Thirdly, her magic is what gives him power and prestige. I would say that her inability to speak properly gives him further advantage over her, so she ends up relying on him a lot to communicate for her.

Also, Idk why but this idea of Lorcan potentially being asexual is EXTREMELY intriguing!  It really suits him?  I know you said it’s due to trauma, but the idea of him just not being interested to begin with and STILL flirting with every girl in sight just because he can is honestly pretty hilarious XD  It’s an interesting concept, so I wouldn’t discount him just not having that interest to begin with!

It is funny the more I think about it😂 I think it makes sense for him, thats not to say he doesn’t find women beautiful, he is just mostly not attracted to them. Its also not to say that he is not capable of romance full stop – and I will stop talking now before I say too much XD

That was so long, I apologise, I just felt I needed a good response haha