Story Embers | CarolineTheWriter | Mentions https://storyembers.org/members/carolinethewriter/activity/mentions/ Activity feed mentioning CarolineTheWriter. Sun, 24 May 2026 19:07:54 -0400 https://buddypress.org/?v= en 30 hourly 2 5f8a9bbfd6fc6b628cf4236fa329526a Arindown replied to the topic Critique on my first chapter of my newest project, Crystal Thieves? in the forum Fantasy Writers https://storyembers.org/activity/p/80831/ Tue, 16 Jun 2020 18:01:20 -0400 @carolinethewriter

Hey, I’m Gracie (one of several Grace’s on SE😆). I just read your story, and really liked it. Can’t wait for more!

One thing I noticed was that Max knew how to manipulate his sister…I know kids learn that naturally, but I wondered if you had a plan to make Jackie and Max learn to get along better by the end of the book. If…[Read more]

]]> 0 47cf42069ee24442324b6c39bea42ffd writergirl101 replied to the topic Critique on my first chapter of my newest project, Crystal Thieves? in the forum Fantasy Writers https://storyembers.org/activity/p/80823/ Tue, 16 Jun 2020 14:33:38 -0400 @carolinethewriter

Hey Caroline!  I did some suggestions on your document–mostly punctuation and highlighting.  I did do some sentence rewriting, but if you find that they’re not your style, or straying from your original text, or you just don’t like them, then don’t bother about changing stuff. 😊  My documents look terrible after I’ve edi…[Read more]

]]> 0 554f4f5a9ff65627637267489c1bcb3a writergirl101 replied to the topic Critique on my first chapter of my newest project, Crystal Thieves? in the forum Fantasy Writers https://storyembers.org/activity/p/80801/ Tue, 16 Jun 2020 00:23:12 -0400 @carolinethewriter

Hi Caroline!  My name is Ella.  I read your story–it’s intriguing!  I want more!!😃  As for your questions, your first sentence nailed it. 👍  Overall, pacing was good and the characters interesting.  (I have a little brother who owns more NERF guns than he should;  you portrayed Max very accurately! 😄)  I listed a couple…[Read more]

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