Are you my friend?
You have always cared for me,
caught my tears,
catered to every color I tried to dye my hair.
You didn’t mind the dirt
when I dug spaces in the garden,
and I smiled at how gently
you guided flowers to fill them.
You have helped me paint my skin
with fading skies and freckled stars,
and you’ve kept me company
when I was nervous
and you started to shake.
You’ve held every cup of coffee
I knew I shouldn’t drink,
and calmed my pounding heart
with kindness all the same.
You bore the scrapes I gave you
with every summer tree I climbed,
and you helped me back up again
every time I fell.
I let your knuckles crack and bleed
with every gust of winter wind,
and you held the steaming mug for me
when my shoulders rocked in shivers.
I tried to take care of you,
but I often forgot.
Are you my friend?
I thought I was at war with you
every time I watched you tremble.
I called you weak,
I called you wanting.
If this war was to be won,
you were no steady soldier.
I watched the failure on your fingertips
run like battle blood.
But you are part of me.
Every evil you’re enslaved to
was born inside my mind,
and although you bear the blame,
I am the one who keeps you trembling.
Yes, I taste betrayal,
but it never left my lips—
and the pain that lines your palm
was never yours to carry.
Thank you for every flower seed
you’ve ever helped me plant,
and thank you for your patience
when I forced you into a fist.
It is not your fault
that I failed to keep you steady.
I am growing flower seeds
in the garden of my mind
so that one day you won’t need
to weed out overgrown actions.
I want to be your friend.
Cindy Green is a forest-wandering, poetry-scribbling stargazer with messy notebooks and messy thoughts. Despite her love for all of God’s creation, sunflowers and stars in particular have a way of sneaking into both her writing and her heart (but you won’t hear her complaining about it). She is an amateur sword-wielder with a Highland-dancing warrior spirit who also writes letters to the moon and considers the sky her best friend. A focused daydreamer, organized pack rat, and oblivious observer, she is a self-professing ambivert (or a living contradiction) who deeply feels both the beauty and fallen state of the world. Through her words, she hopes to describe the indescribable and form personal connections with people while reflecting a love for her Savior and a passion for everything she touches.