Thoughts On My REAL Romance
May 19, 2021 at 8:59 am #134225
Ok, so there is a bit of a story behind this romance before I tell my plot. So a year or two ago I decided that I wanted to try my hand at writing a Cinderella retelling. The only problem was that I don’t really like the fairy fairytale with all the magic. So I decided I was going to write it in medieval England, Germany, France, or Italy. I put it on hold because I had just started a WIP and didn’t want two brand new ones right then. At the end of last year I decided to pick up my pen and start writing it. Then it hit, my friend recommended Melanie Dickerson’s fairytale retellings. So I read them and found that they were the same kind of idea that I wanted to do with the whole medieval times, no magic. I got depressed about this because I thought that I may have a slightly unique idea (I knew there probably was a no magic cinderella book out there but it was so close to what I wanted to do). So I stopped writing it. Then about a month ago I decided that I was just going to write it. I changed some of my ideas to be less like Melanie Dickersons and have kept writing. I have someone reading it as a write and they don’t seem to think it’s too much like Melanie Dickerson’s and so I want to get my idea critiqued here.
So the basic idea that I have is Mia (Cinderella) was the illegitimate daughter of a wealthy horse breeder who used to be a merchant. He died of an illness and right after her stepmother made her become a servant. Mia’s life becomes full of hardship and work with only Angelina, her youngest stepsister, and a few of the servants as friends. In whatever year this takes place, the earl of waterford starts making visits to all the widows in waterford with his oldest and heir, Gabriel, and his second oldest son, Colton. Mia catches Gabriel’s eye as the most beautiful maiden in all the land and grows to wish that she was the daughter of a wealthy man instead of a servant. At the ball that is thrown with Gabriel’s father’s not so secret hope of Gabriel finding a wife, Mia sees her stepmother and the earl intimately together. She was going to leave, but heard them discussing an evil plot. Mia tells Gabriel and as she was going out was grabbed and taken away; the earl had found out that she had heard. Gabriel must free Mia and then together they must flee to his good uncle and get aid and save many.
"Courage is found in unlikely places." JRR TolkienMay 19, 2021 at 10:16 am #134226Arindown (Gracie)@arindown
Sounds cool to me. I love fairy-tale retellings, so I might be a little biased.😄
I’m wondering what the point of her being an illegitimate daughter is. Is it going to be important later in the story? Also…just a random idea…what if she wasn’t actually illegitimate, but her father was hiding her true identity?
Can’t wait to hear more!
Not all those who wander are lost.May 19, 2021 at 10:29 am #134227
Ya the illegitimate is a way I’m changing it up and that is a reason the mother is so spiteful…but I could have it that her identity is just hidden. Actually I really like that! If you want to read it, I could add you to the doc and you could be an Alpha reader as I write it…if you would like that just shoot an email to this address and I’ll add you firstname.lastname@example.org
"Courage is found in unlikely places." JRR TolkienMay 19, 2021 at 9:43 pm #134247
Hope you don’t mind me popping in!
I really like everything about it! I do agree with Gracie though. If you made that change it would make it really neat! I do have a couple questions about it though. Is there a reason that Mia and Gabriel have to flee to the good uncle? And this is just pure curiosity, does Mia have something that she loses like a glass slipper? XD
Excellent idea for a story! I love fairytale retellings!
Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.May 20, 2021 at 8:33 am #134258
Thank you for the suggestions!
yes there is a good reason for them to flee to the uncle. So at the ball Mia wanders off and sees her stepmother and the earl together. She hears them talking about an evil plot (haven’t totally figured that out yet) Mia goes and tells Gabriel, but him, the loyal son that he is, doesn’t believe her right away. I believe I’ll have Gabriel tell the guards to arrest her and then the earl, who had somehow found out that Mia had eavesdropped on him, sent guards to take her someplace where she could do no harm, death is very likely. After Gabriel has Mia arrested, he goes to find his father and finds him with Mistress Aaberg (Mia’s stepmother) talking about their evil plan. Gabriel sees that Mia was right but when he goes to the dungeon to release her, she is gone. The jailkeeper tells him where she has been taken, or that she has been. Gabriel finds them and somehow releases her (I have a couple ideas of how) then they flee to the good uncle to get help.
So finally, I do believe that I’m going to make it that she is not really illegitimate, and somehow someone knows who she is or something. Thanks for the idea@arindown!!!
"Courage is found in unlikely places." JRR TolkienMay 20, 2021 at 3:50 pm #134267
That’s going to turn out very cool! Totally sounds like something I would read
Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.May 28, 2021 at 7:55 pm #134511
If it’s something you would read, would you like to Alpha read for me?
"Courage is found in unlikely places." JRR TolkienJune 1, 2021 at 11:59 am #134586
Sure, I’d love to!
Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.June 1, 2021 at 12:02 pm #134587
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