How sensible and biblical is romance?
October 20, 2020 at 1:18 pm #120826
I’m 100% a romantic, there is nothing that melts my heart faster. But, that being said, how much room does the Bible leave for romance? What is taking it too far, and what is biblical?
Right is right though all condemn, and wrong is wrong though all approve.October 21, 2020 at 3:39 pm #120866
I think the Bible leaves a lot of room for romance…within certain boundaries. I wouldn’t base my romances off many biblical characters for obvious reasons (David, Abraham, Esther, etc.), but I think there are some examples, in the Bible, of what Biblical romance is. Ruth and Boaz are the best example, I believe, but there’s references to others…Michal fell in love with David, Isaac loved Rebecca, Song of Solomon (which I would be careful with, because it gets a little too “lovey” for me at points), etc.
For me, I think the furthest expression of love I would allow before characters get married is maybe a kiss. That’s where I draw the line, and I believe it parallels the Bible’s principles.
One of the mottos I live by is, “It’s not what you write, but how you write it.” I think writing romance follows this. The best romances aren’t about what a character does (they don’t even have to kiss, for example), but how you make them fall in love. I really like the romance in Little Women, Rifles for Waite (by Harold Keith), and even <i>Wingfeather Saga (</i>the grown-up romance is what I’m referring too…I’m still not sold on Leeli and Thorn😂<i>) </i>. They’re all really sweet, but all of them fall within Biblical boundaries for lovers before marriage.
Hope that helps a little. I’m a hopeless romantic too, and I’ve thought quite a bit about all this stuff.😄
Forgiven. Loved. Creative.October 21, 2020 at 4:17 pm #120875
That makes a lot of sense. Most of the people in the Bible are certainly not what I would refer to as romantics (not sure about Solomon. Maybe he’s a romantic, but not a great one) but you do make the excellent point that there is at least something to build on.
I, personally, don’t have my characters that start out Christian go any further than a kiss, and mostly just don’t go into any sort of detail at all ever no matter what relationship they are in. Most of my characters start out Christian. My main romantic couple is married, and I think I have a whole two kisses in the entire book. But, is it possible to insinuate too much? Or what is taking it too far? By this I mean, is it weird (or too far I guess) to have the girl wear the guy’s clothes after he has died because they have his scent? And by clothes, I mean a sweatshirt. Not that I have a very specific instance in mind or anything. :]
I love how the ladies in Little Women fall in love! It’s so… proper. I think it’s not something we get to see very much anymore. And Rifles for Watie is such a good book! So, so good. I love both of those books. Something I am now considering as I write this that I hadn’t thought of before is how little the books are actually about love, while having everyone fall in love. I mean, Little Women has a lot to say about love, but I would say it is not intended to be a romance novel. Maybe I should consider writing not a romance, but a novel with romance. hmm…
I have not read the Wingfeather Saga yet, but I hope to soon. It’s on my list. Has been for a while. Now when I read them, I will probably look at them through an author’s eye, looking for things to help me with this dilemma. :)\
Yes, what you said is very helpful! Thank you so much!
Right is right though all condemn, and wrong is wrong though all approve.October 21, 2020 at 7:28 pm #120888Laur_M@laur_m
I think I shall need to invite you two to have a look at my NaNoWriMo project, or the romantic pieces of it at least, when I get far enough.
My MC, as all MCs must, has a big lesson to learn, and part of the lesson involves how she approaches romance. She is a Christian but, like all Christians, she is a work in progress. She falls, she gets up (eventually).
I guess whether a character who starts out as a unmarried Christian ever goes beyond a kiss, might depend on how you define “Christian”.
Perfect people need not apply (sorry Mary Poppins).
God bless.October 21, 2020 at 8:25 pm #120890
I think it is possible to insinuate too much. When I’m afraid of crossing a “line” and being inappropriate or insinuating, I question whether I would let my parents (they’re always helpful when you’ve gone too far) or one of my younger sisters read it. If not, maybe I need to adjust something.
I love the idea of having the main romance between a married couple!😍 Have you ever read the Scarlet Pimpernel? And, no, I don’t think having the wife wear her husband’s sweatshirt is weird at all. I once heard that Billy Graham’s wife used to do that when he was on trips.
I think most of my stories with romance have a different plot, with romance to help build either characters, or plot.
Totally tag me over on NaNo. I go by Arindown there too…so I hope I’m not too hard to find.
Forgiven. Loved. Creative.October 22, 2020 at 3:59 am #120945
I would love to look at your NaNoWriMo! I’m sure it will be amazing!
I think some Christians do have different standards, but I guess for me, I wouldn’t even have them kiss before marriage. That’s just personal though, I think it really does depend on the person and what they are comfortable with. Only up to a point though, because the Bible does address certain things. Although everyone certainly fails somewhere. It’s so cool that you are tackling that issue!
That’s a really good test of whether it is too far or not! I shall use it.
So, I feel like I should explain my plot a little bit. There’s this girl who’s fiance dies. Through a series of events, she is forced to marry a man she doesn’t love. Most of the book is spent having her struggle with grief and trusting God in all circumstances. She wears her fiance’s sweatshirt at several different points in the book after he has died, but I have yet to decide whether or not it’s also while she’s married to the other guy. 99% of the romance is between her and her husband, just learning how to love again, or deciding if she can love again. (the poor girl can never really catch a break)
I love the Scarlet Pimpernel so much!!! That book was the one that kinda paved the way for me to be a hopeless romantic, or at least showed me I was. Love that book! 🙂
I would say my book has a plot, really quite a bit, but the plot exists for there to be romance, not a plot that allows for romance. Perhaps I should spend more time trying to develop the plot and characters than the romance. I am learning so much from being here. It is so cool!
Right is right though all condemn, and wrong is wrong though all approve.October 22, 2020 at 12:25 pm #120961
Hey, I like your plot. Sounds like something I would like reading.😊 I would say spending time to develop the plot and characters would be a great idea, whether or not it’s a total romance. The deeper the characters, the better the relationships will be.
I hope this isn’t too personal, but is your name actually Ari? I LOVE that name.😍 Actually…one of my main characters marries a girl named Ari, but I didn’t know if it was a “real” name.
Forgiven. Loved. Creative.October 22, 2020 at 12:37 pm #120965
Yeah, developing the plot is always a good idea… just not as fun as romance. :] If I ever finish the third draft that I’m working on of my book (somehow no one told me that books take so much work when I started. Although, I didn’t exactly know anyone who wrote when I started, nor did I tell anyone when I started, it just kind of happened… :}) I would love to let you read it!
It’s not too personal at all! It is not… My name is Arwen. Ari is the only nickname I’ve ever been given by anyone and I fell in love with it too. According to my baby-naming book that I use for naming my characters when I need generic names and my brain is like ‘nope! not today!’ Ari is a real name. It says:
(Hebrew) short for Ariel; lioness
Aree, Arey, Arie, Ary
I’m not at all sure that means it’s a real name though, because it has some very fake names in there. I guess you run out at some point though when compiling more than 50,000 of them. (I’m biased against this book though [even though I continue to use] because it only has ‘Arwen’ as a boys’ name so…)
I have to ask, how do you pronounce your username? I keep pronouncing it as something like ‘are-in-down’, but is it more like ‘ari-n-down’?
Right is right though all condemn, and wrong is wrong though all approve.October 24, 2020 at 11:58 am #121019
@amaustin Oh, I love your name!😍 Do you pronounce it like Arwen Evenstar from Lord of the Rings?
Baby books can be great…but sometimes they have weird meanings for great names. Do you ever make up meanings for names you invented? I want to sometime.
I usually say my name Air-n-down, but I’m not picky (actually, I say it Are-in-down half the time on accident). I try not to be too particular with names.
I have a question for you. How would you pronounce the name Kyerin, if you saw it in a book? I’m just wondering, because I changed the spelling, and I want to know if most people would see it like I do.
It’s nice meeting you!
Forgiven. Loved. Creative.October 28, 2020 at 3:32 am #121121
I do pronounce it like from the Lord of the Rings! That’s actually who my parents named me after. 🙂
Baby naming books are full of weird things. They are helpful for finding normal names that my brain won’t come up with alone though.
I am not smart enough to create my own names. I mostly write in the “present-day America”, so I haven’t really needed them. I think it would be tons of fun though! I just need to come up with a story set in a time and place where I could. hmm… Do you think I could away with inventing a name for characters set in a sci-fi-ish story set about ten years in the future from now, pretty much like current-day America, except, you know, the stuff I change to make a plot? probably not…
Okay, that’s a nice way to pronounce your username. 🙂
When I read ‘Kyerin’ for the first time, I pronounced it as “Karen”, but depending on the setting I might immediately see (or just because of the way it is spelled) I might pronounce it as “K-eye-rin”. Except the ‘k’ is part of the first syllable. (clearly, I am bad at spelling out how to pronounce things.) I am not most people though and tend to see things from a very different perspective somehow, so I might not be the best candidate for testing things on, or at least not your only opinion. I do love to do proofread or test things! Just want to admit my deficiencies.
It’s nice to meet you too!
I have a semi-complicated question. More like, I have to explain some stuff before asking the question.
If there are three characters, a guy, a girl, and one that could be either but I haven’t decided yet, should I make the undecided a guy or girl? The undecided is cousins with the girl, and the girl falls in love with the guy. Also, the undecided is a criminal defense lawyer. Not sure how important that part is. :/ Anway, if, through a series of events, the trio ends up captured by bad guys, and to make it more real, aren’t going to all make it out alive because they are all accidental heroes and have no real training in any way, and in real life absolutely won’t make it out alive, what would be most tragic? (assuming the undecided is a guy) Would it be worse for only the girl to make it out, both guys sacrificing themselves to get her out? Or, would it be worse for both guys to make it out and her not? Provided they did absolutely everything they could for her.
Sorry that was like three questions.
Right is right though all condemn, and wrong is wrong though all approve.October 28, 2020 at 9:10 am #121123Zee@zee
I have to say, the way you worded your post title question made me smile. Is romance ever…sensible?October 28, 2020 at 12:38 pm #121125
Your question made me laugh. Is it ever sensible? Probably not… Unless you are using it to woo someone. I think it’s sensible for a guy to use a bit of romance when proposing, otherwise, the girl might just say no. (depending on the girl I suppose) But in most cases, it’s probably likely to set your heart way ahead of your head. I guess, as I type this, I just realized I think you use your head to be sensible, and your heart to be romantic. (ish. romance has to be planned somewhere) So it is technically almost impossible to be sensible with romance. Hmm…
Right is right though all condemn, and wrong is wrong though all approve.
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