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Fantasy Writers

Villains’ Character Castle

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  • #136813
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @this-is-not-an-alien

    I love your annoying villain!

    Thanks, for some unimaginable reason, I love him too XD He’s incredibly fun to write. I think it’ll be interesting to see how he reacts in some actually dangerous situations.

    Something interesting I realized about him is that he has wayy less empathy than Chantara. It’s kinda weird that he’s always so happy but he doesn’t have nearly as many qualms or morals as Chantara. It’s kinda creepy how at home he is in darkness XD

    I’m experimenting with how I “show” my accents. Can @anybody tell me whether they “heard” Meira’s or Sloane’s better or smoother?

    Okay, I’ve thought about this some. I ‘heard’ Meira’s accent clearer, but I had a much easier time understanding Sloane. Meira’s accent was hard to follow at times, but it was very clear what it sounded like. Sloane’s requires a little more imagination, but I can picture it quite well.

    I think a middle ground would be perfect.  I think it could be interesting if you generally didn’t write them out phonetically, but only mentioned their accent once or twice (Like you did with Sloane.) But keep the little linguistic quirks, like Meira’s ‘blinky’ and other odd words.

    If you want to make it extra clear, you’d write it kinda like you write Rosario. Stronger and more phonetical when they’re nervous or excited. I think that could be interesting!

    It doesn’t matter as much for the castle, but I think it could get hard to read if you wrote an entire novel with phonetic accents.

    Oh, and about this bit:

    It had been a running banter of more and less friend competition between the races of Casumbra. From her time with dryiniad emotional communication (lacking normal tone of voice) her “posh” sounded more like “push” and “sport” like “spot” and every couple words seemed to pop or curl cheerily, particularly her ‘t’s and ‘d’s.

    I did get the idea of what you were trying to convey, but I’d spread it out a lot more. Like, if there was a part where she actually said ‘posh’ you could say: “Her accent made it sound like ‘push'” instead of putting it all together.

    I like the image of the t’s and d’s popping and curling. I can ‘hear’ that, and it gives very nice imagery.

    Kongar

    “For a more, perhaps, fitting question where precisely am I, you person?” A female voice said.

    I spun around on my heel, flipping my knife around in my hand, ready to throw. A woman had appeared behind me.

    Though she was armed, I was well out of her reach and she was within mine, so I relaxed. I twirled my knife between my fingers, almost dropping it, and grinned.

    “I’m not generally called ‘you person’ but whatever you like. Wish I knew,” I said, cheerfully.

    “We all seemed to have stranded here in various ways from various places and I’m pretty sure we’re all going to die isn’t that brilliant?” I said, in a rush.

    The woman was far taller and older than I was, with lighter hair and skin. One eye was blue and one green. Odd.

    “Anyway, you can keep calling me ‘you-person’ if you like, but it’s rather a mouthful, ain’t it? I’m actually Kongar. And that’s Chantara, she’s sulking,” I said, jerking my head toward her.

    I heard Chantara give an annoyed hiss and I shot her a grin. She was glaring from beneath her raised hood, her pale green eyes flashing hard and dangerous from the shadows. She looked like a human nightmare, more than ready to cut my throat. She was always so ‘endearing’ after an assignment.

    “Now, about the goose,” I resumed, to everyone in general. “I could find out if its gift is immortality, invulnerability, or regeneration pretty easily, but if I guess wrong we’re going to die faster. Does anyone have a problem with that?”

    _________

    I’ve got to admit, my first thoughts after writing about him is usually something like “Kongar, you dumb idiot.” XD I love it XD

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #136925
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Thanks, for some unimaginable reason, I love him too XD He’s incredibly fun to write. I think it’ll be interesting to see how he reacts in some actually dangerous situations. Something interesting I realized about him is that he has wayy less empathy than Chantara. It’s kinda weird that he’s always so happy but he doesn’t have nearly as many qualms or morals as Chantara. It’s kinda creepy how at home he is in darkness XD

    Yeah I really got the sense he’d be much more eerily calm about killing. I can’t wait to see more layers of his character he certainly is fun to read!!

    Okay, I’ve thought about this some. I ‘heard’ Meira’s accent clearer, but I had a much easier time understanding Sloane. Meira’s accent was hard to follow at times, but it was very clear what it sounded like. Sloane’s requires a little more imagination, but I can picture it quite well. I think a middle ground would be perfect.  I think it could be interesting if you generally didn’t write them out phonetically, but only mentioned their accent once or twice (Like you did with Sloane.) But keep the little linguistic quirks, like Meira’s ‘blinky’ and other odd words.

    Ok! That makes sense, thanks! *notes “more phonetical accents with strong emotions” especially* Linguistic quirks keep and phoneticals express intensity!

    If you want to make it extra clear, you’d write it kinda like you write Rosario. Stronger and more phonetical when they’re nervous or excited. I think that could be interesting! It doesn’t matter as much for the castle, but I think it could get hard to read if you wrote an entire novel with phonetic accents.

    Ikr! I read a book with phonetic accents throughout the entire thing and I almost didn’t finish it even though the characters were fun and the plot interesting I’d keep getting jerked out of it by the accents.
    Another reason I LOVE character castles you get to experiment until you find that middle ground! Thanks again for helping me, I’ll definitely put that into practice!

    I did get the idea of what you were trying to convey, but I’d spread it out a lot more. Like, if there was a part where she actually said ‘posh’ you could say: “Her accent made it sound like ‘push’” instead of putting it all together. I like the image of the t’s and d’s popping and curling. I can ‘hear’ that, and it gives very nice imagery.

    Yeah, that was a very clumsy paragraph because I was impatient to “explain” her voice XD. I definitely plan to keep it spread out as much as I can now XD

    @everybody, my sister has to pull out Grimme cos she’s really busy now and so I’m gonna kill her off 😈

    !!! And her death will probably spark a new quest once they finish their wild goose chase lol XD.

    Even before Sloane had finished speaking, the man spun around materializing a knife in his hand. But he relaxed when he saw her and showed off with his knife. She quirked a bemused smile, did he really think she was harmless right then? What a strange human.
    “I’m not generally called ‘you person’ but whatever you like. Wish I knew,”
    “Well on that account you most certainly may rest assured,” Sloane chirps gracelessly, crossing her elbows behind her back with flawless posture. “I will tell you ‘whatever’ I like.”
    He certainly is an amusing one, she thinks, looking him up and down and making no attempt to conceal it.
    “We all seemed to have stranded here in various ways from various places and I’m pretty sure we’re all going to die isn’t that brilliant?” He bursts almost breathlessly (though no less cockily) and she mouths an ‘“oh” really?’ enjoying herself a little too much.
    With satisfaction she determines he’s several inches shorter than her, and he looks like the average citizen of Casumbra aside from his clothing which is still close enough. The only thing that disturbs her slightly are his brilliant green eyes (as if she actually believes the stories).
    “Anyway, you can keep calling me ‘you-person’ if you like, but it’s rather a mouthful, ain’t it? I’m actually Kongar. And that’s Chantara, she’s sulking,” The quirky human said, to which Sloane laughed and gave a clipped bow to each of them.
    “Long life then, Kongar and sulking Chantara.” Her voice purses with enjoyment, her tongue clicking the ‘k’ in ‘sulking’. “I’m actuelly Sloane, Sloane Amaris, daughter of the thar.”
    “Now, about the goose, I could find out if its gift is immortality, invulnerably, or regeneration pretty easily, but if I guess wrong we’re going to die faster. Does anybody have a problem with that?” ‘Kongar’ said cheerfully
    “I happen to have a slight ‘problem’ with dying faster if you guess wrong who thinks you have the permission to guess, what if I want to guess?” She said both ‘p’s in ‘happen’, and dipped her head with a quirked smirk as she curls her hand at herself. “Perhance you might spend a few notches in proper deduction, yes, before making a guess possibly?”

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #136931
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @this-is-not-an-alien

    Yeah I really got the sense he’d be much more eerily calm about killing. I can’t wait to see more layers of his character he certainly is fun to read!!

    Honestly, I think he would be. I can’t wait to find out more either XD He only gets one or two scenes, but I’m planning to use his character concept in a future book for a different character, so it isn’t wasted!

    I’m glad the more villainous side of his personality comes through, I was afraid he’d seem like a ‘good guy’.

    Ikr! I read a book with phonetic accents throughout the entire thing and I almost didn’t finish it even though the characters were fun and the plot interesting I’d keep getting jerked out of it by the accents.
    Another reason I LOVE character castles you get to experiment until you find that middle ground! Thanks again for helping me, I’ll definitely put that into practice!

    Glad I could help! I love that about the castle too!

    my sister has to pull out Grimme cos she’s really busy now and so I’m gonna kill her off

    !!! And her death will probably spark a new quest once they finish their wild goose chase lol XD.

    LOL, that’s a solution, I guess XD Ooh, this is going to be cool!

    Kongar

    The new woman made no move to hide her assessing gaze. I saw Chantara’s muscles stiffen in resentment, but she didn’t move. She hated being judged. I honestly couldn’t care less, it made no difference to me. I shot the woman a grin.

    The woman laughed and gave both of us a slight bow.

    “Long life then, Kongar and sulking Chantara.”

    Chantara bristled. (She never could take a joke, could she?) I nearly doubled over in laughter. ‘Long life’ wasn’t an uncommon wish in Yerasht, but most greetings struck me as hysterically ironic. ‘Peace’, ‘Long life’, and so on.

    Peace had never been an option in my life and I’d long since gotten used to the fact that it would be an outright miracle if I made it to the age of twenty.

    Like most others, I’d been in the Siya since I was fourteen. I’d completed my first assignment at sixteen, and sometime between then and now, I’d accepted the fact that my death was right around the corner.

    Many others hadn’t. Chantara, Lachlin, and Aydin, for example. I’d shared assignments with Lachlin and Chantara and it had been rather shocking to see how badly they handled them.

    Chantara would become blind with fury and lash out, only to break down as soon as it was over.

    Lachlin would get even quieter than usual, almost numb to what he was doing. Sometimes it was hours, or even days until he spoke again.

    And Aydin was the worst. I regarded him as a fairly useless coward. I liked him, he was nice enough and often up for fun, but he was a coward, that was just a fact. He’d been on exactly one assignment, which he had barely completed. And after that, he flat-out refused ever to go again. Imagine!

    I had no idea how he hadn’t gotten kicked out of the Siya in shame and ignominy. We’d all tried to convince him to give in, the first time was always the hardest, but it was impossible to dissuade him. He’d eventually been relegated to the laboratory to do something useful at least. He still hated it there, I could tell. But at least he wasn’t embarrassing himself and us.

    “Long life isn’t exactly the plan, but I appreciate the sentiment,” I said, amused.

    “I’m actually Sloane, Sloane Amaris, daughter of the thar,” the woman, Sloane, said.

    “I happen to have a slight ‘problem’ with dying faster if you guess wrong who thinks you have the permission to guess, what if I want to guess?” She smirked. “Perchance you might spend a few notches in proper deduction, yes, before making a guess possibly?”

    I tilted my head, as though I was seriously considering it.

    “Well, I’m guessing because nobody else has the guts to do anything, but feel free if you know something,” I said, aiming the first remark at everyone in the room. Chantara flinched at my volume.

    “As for deduction, who has the patience for that? Not me,” I said, with a laugh. “I prefer to throw first and think later.”

    Chantara gave a hum of agreement.

    “That’s what comes from having about as much intelligence as a frog,” she said, pointedly.

    I grinned. Insults didn’t bother me.

    “That reminds me,” I chirped. “Do you think I can juggle three knives?”

    Chantara shot me a furious glare. I was only trying to cheer her up.

    “You’re a danger to yourself and everyone around you,” she said, flatly.

    “I know!” I grinned.

    ______________

    I find it very weird how Kongar can think some horrendously dark stuff and then just move on like nothing happened? This character unnerves me!! LOL XD

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #137049
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    The little imp tilted his head like he was considering it.
    “Well, I’m guessing because nobody else has the guts to do anything, but feel free if you know something,” Kongar said, and Sloane decided she liked him but she was also infuriated by him so that was interesting. “As for deduction, who has the patience for that? Not me, I prefer to throw first and think later,”
    “How incredebly wise.” Sloane quipped, while he and his companion kept talking rather uselessly. She dropped her hands on her hips and sized up the situation up and down as if that would provide a solution. Even though it was stupid, she’d rather be stupid herself than let him be stupid for her, so she decided to guess.
    “I want to guess invulnerability!” She yelled in a cheery tone just as Meira bedraggled herself from the fluttering attention of the Pawns and burst into the room, wild black hair stampeding her face. She squinted at the scene in front of her but as the mechanical voice of the Castle chimed back.
    “Oh dear oh dear, you guessed wrong, now one of you has to die!”
    Meira gave a blank “Eh?” and blinked.
    “Vya,” Sloane said tapping her bottom lip. “That was, perhance, a poor decision of my part.”

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #137073
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    Chantara

    “I want to guess invulnerability!” Sloane yelled.

    Kongar’s reaction was instant. He stopped toying with his knife and flipped it around in one quick motion, so now it was in throwing position.

    Nothing else changed, his smile was as mocking and cheerful as ever, but it didn’t need to. I knew that look.

    “Don’t do something you’ll regret,” I hissed. Kongar was apt to act impulsively, and I would share in whatever he brought upon us.

    “Bold of you to assume I’ll regret it,” he said, quietly. For once, his volume wasn’t enough to fill the room. There was still a faint trace of amusement, and his tone sounded relaxed and almost light-hearted, but I could tell he was dead-serious.

    Meira burst into the room, causing enough ruckus to make Kongar’s arm go up, preparing to throw. I grabbed his wrist and yanked it down again. Murder wasn’t going to solve this, despite what Kongar might think.

    “It’s only Meira. You’ll like her, she’s almost as careless as you are,” I said.

    He smiled, but I could still see the anger behind the expression. He was not happy with Sloane, and she’d find that out soon enough.

    “Oh dear oh dear, you guessed wrong, now one of you has to die!”

    “Why is your voice so freakishly annoying?” Kongar asked the castle. He was hiding his anger well. If I hadn’t known him for these past years, I might not have noticed.

    “Vya,” Sloane said tapping her bottom lip. “That was, perchance, a poor decision of my part.”

    Kongar grinned at her, a little too wide considering the circumstances.

    “Mayhap, I’m afraid you’re correct. Excuse me if I think it might have been fair if you’d at least discussed it with us. You know, considering the fact that now one of us is going to pay for it.”

    Oh, no. Kongar was ‘apologizing’. That was a sure sign that he was well beyond angry. It would fade fast, it always did, but he wouldn’t forget.

    “Now, let’s see who’s going to die. Castle, you dearly annoying monstrosity, how do we go about it? Is there possibly a chance I might help? At this point I’m more than willing,” He joked. Or said in dead earnestness. I couldn’t tell the difference.

    I crossed my arms and shot Sloane a vicious glare. She was either an enemy or extremely stupid and dangerous to have around. Either way, I’d need to keep an eye on her.

    _______

    Oh, that wasn’t pretty. Sloane has managed to get both of them pretty mad. I can’t wait to see what happens!

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #137219
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    *Skids in late to my own castle* Eesh things’ll get pretty interesting with this cast!

    “Mayhap, I’m afraid you’re correct.” Sloane bristled a little at Kongar imitating her voice, his grin was unnaturally carefree. “Excuse me if I think it might have been fair if you’d at least discussed it with us. You know, considering the fact that now one of us is going to pay for it.”
    “As if you were not contemplating the vary same!” She said cuffing a hand on her hip, part to express her indignation and part to be nearer the hilt of her blade. Her ability…she should use it carefully. Tread carefully now, darling, that needed to be her plan.
    “Now, let’s see who’s going to die. Castle, you dearly annoying monstrosity, how do we go about it? Is there possibly a chance I might help? At this point I’m more than willing,”
    Play the game, play it careful. This was going to cost her.
    “Oh no, that’s not in the rules,” chimed the Castle to Kongar. “No no you just watch for now.”
    Watch. Watch what?

    Meira kicked her bloodied hair out of her face and blinked at the Castle’s voice.
    “Whot the blinkin–?” She didn’t get to finish because a shriek fills the air. Reflexively she yanked up her spear, shoving the closest (still cooing on her) Pawn behind her. Visible, suddenly a woman materialized in front of her clutching the back of her neck and screaming with pain. Ruptures of cracking skin and she started to break apart.
    Meira gasped and staggered to her but didn’t dare come to close. Then the woman fell over, dead.
    “Remember ladies and gentlemen, there’s a good deal of risk in the game so I wouldn’t guess lightly again chickies.” the Castle trilled
    The woman started to fade.

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #137294
    calidris
    @calidris

    @rose-colored-fancy @this-is-not-an-alien I’m entering a character into the villain castle 🙂

    New character: the Shrike

    The air snapped.  Crackled.  The atmosphere pulsed and throbbed as if in the throes of a searing wound.  Blazing fractals of light tore across the room, twisting and falling like so many shards of broken glass.  A metallic screech ripped through the air, slowly falling to echoes in the distant pulse of the atmosphere.  Silence. 

    A young man now knelt in the center of the room, gasping and panting like a hunted animal.  His glass-like eyes darted back and forth in a wild dance of terror.  He blinked, pupils now dilating to inky black pools, now snapping back into cat-like slits.  He sighed, and slowly straightened, firmly tucking his arms over his knees.  His slender fingers clutched at his coat, pulling the heavy black fabric ever tighter against his sides.

    “He’s gone now.”  He murmured the words softly, as if to to reassure himself, rather than his bewildered spectators.  His fingers whitened as they strained against the grain of his coat.  He lifted his gaze, peering at the crowd through a soft curtain of milky white hair.

    “Who are you?”  The whispered question rippled in the air, twisting and dancing and slowly expanding.  As if to twine with the very foundations of the atmosphere itself…

    *laughs as one fey*

    #137305
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    @calidris HIII WELCOME ABOARD!!!!! *bowls over with a hug*
    Would you like a rundown of the characters and situation or just get the feel for yourself? Btw that was a very dramatic extry and I LOVE IT!!! I have such a vivid image of a dark, aloof, complicated guy there I can’t wait to get into seeing more of his character!!!

    Just as the woman disappeared a man appeared, Meira flinched spearpoint at the stranger but with a wide berth between them. Terror flashed through his eyes before they changed into feline slivers as he let out a breath, and slowly straightened. He was dangerous (–he was scared).
    “He’s gone now.” It was barely audible, but she heard it. Half her older sibling instincts screamed at her to give reassurance or welcome or comfort to him and the other half knew this person was tasted like a Grim Reaper. Slowly, he looked up and stared at them, a bleary, piercing gaze half concealed by his ghost-white hair.
    “Who are you?”
    Meira had always thought she was a very bold person. Being a fighter while being made out glass seemed to indicate she was almost recklessly bold. But right now, no she was scared.
    “Meir–” She reflexively started to comply with the question but caught herself and straightened a little to her full (rather short) height. She felt more sorry for him than she felt scared but she was determined to tough it out.
    “Who the blinking are you?” She asked not unkindly.

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #137307
    calidris
    @calidris

    @this-is-not-an-alien yes please!  I’m very lost right now lol.  Your impression of the Shrike is spot on – and yes, he’s definitely more dangerous when he’s scared.  Is Meira literally made of glass?  The idea of a glass warrior is so cool!  Also, just be warned, I might pull out the Shrike soon – I eventually want to enter him into the character castle as well.  We’ll see what happens, though 🙂

    *laughs as one fey*

    #137310
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @calidris

    *Gives you just as big a hug as soon as Cathy lets you go* Welcome to the unbridled chaos!! This is going to be brilliant!

    I’ll let Cathy do the introductions *Bows with overly dramatic flourishes*

    But I’ll write my bit of reacting to that really dramatic entry! *LOL, Kongar is totally going to try to murder everyone. Let’s see if Chantara can stop him XD*

    Kongar

    “Remember ladies and gentlemen, there’s a good deal of risk in the game so I wouldn’t guess lightly again chickies.” the Castle trilled. I wanted to rip its throat out, purely for how annoying its voice was.

    The woman… girl… fell to the ground, screaming, dissolving into nothing. This was what the castle did to those that got in its way.

    The air throbbed around me, unmanageable, uncontrollable. My vision was dancing with specks of white and I gripped my knife harder and harder, my nails digging into my palms.

    I hoped nobody would notice what was going on behind my relaxed smile. I took a deep breath, then another, waiting for the flecks to fade.

    The air right in front of me rippled, shimmering like someone was tearing fabric. There was a crackle like the breaking of glass, about fifteen feet in front of me.

    I had barely blinked and a young man had appeared, milky white hair scattered over his face, his pupils dilating widely, unnaturally. He looked terrified and like one of the most dangerous people I’d ever seen.

    I didn’t hesitate. I raised my arm, aimed, and hurled the heavy, razor-sharp blade right at him.

    Someone crashed into me, an arm constricting around my throat, someone’s full weight dragging me to the ground. I yanked a knife around the scabbard on my thigh, flipping it around to stab. I gave in to the weight of the person and threw myself on top of them, pinning them to the ground. I had already raised my knife to stab, calmly seeking out the most vulnerable spot on the chest.

    It was a girl. I hadn’t noticed, I’d been too preoccupied earlier.

    “I’m not letting you do this. If you kill him, the castle may kill us,” Chantara said, gasping for breath and wincing with pain. I was still pressing her right shoulder to the ground, the one that had been wounded earlier. I didn’t even think about moving.

    “What makes you think you can decide?” I hissed, in Kezbe.

    “Your foolishness will get all of us killed one day,” Chantara spat, her pale aquamarine eyes flashing with unspeakable fury. She kneed me in the back hard enough that I gasped for breath.

    She managed to get her left hand free but I didn’t wait around to see if she would really punch me. Who were we kidding, she’d enjoy it.

    I sprang to my feet, still gripping my knife. I pointed it at her as she slowly managed to get to her feet. She was hurt, I could see it in how she was struggling. Served her right.

    “If you stop me again, that knife’s for you instead of someone else,” I said, cheerfully. “Consider it a favor.”

    “If you endanger me one more time, I’m going to slit your throat first. See if I don’t,” she whispered, voice cutting.

    With those facts firmly established, I turned back to see if I had at least hit. No such luck, Chantara had pushed me aside and the knife had hit the marble right next to his feet.

    He was mumbling to himself, apparently dazed.

    “Who are you?”

    I shot him a wide, cheery grin. The anger had all but disappeared after my fight with Chantara. That had its own advantages, apparently.

    “Considering that you just appeared from thin air, I think we get to ask that. I’m Kongar and that’s my friend Chantara. Isn’t she charming?” I asked.

    Chantara shot me a glare that might have cut me in half, then pulled up the dark hood of her cape, as if trying to disappear.

    She’d get over it, and I didn’t care if she didn’t.

    ~~~~~~~~~

    How’s that for an introduction? XD Yeah… this is how it usually goes. LOL, in the other castle they’re all happy and making friends and here they’re literally trying to murder each other, constantly! XD It’s magnificently dramatic!

    Man, the more I write Kongar the more he terrifies me! XD

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #137318
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    yes please!  I’m very lost right now lol.  Your impression of the Shrike is spot on – and yes, he’s definitely more dangerous when he’s scared.  Is Meira literally made of glass?  The idea of a glass warrior is so cool!  Also, just be warned, I might pull out the Shrike soon – I eventually want to enter him into the character castle as well.  We’ll see what happens, though

    Alrighty! Yay! I’m glad I got a good impression of him, he sounds really fascinating!
    Yesy indeed! Meira is literally made of glass and it’s hilarious because she is absolutely the most adorable thing and she wants to fight everyone/everything like a total barbarian.
    Ok so a quick rundown is kinda like everybody just appeared here @rose-colored-fancy’s two characters Kongar and Chantara who are both assassins, Sloane who’s a shapeshifter and my other character (Villain’s Castle was going so slow we went ahead and got extra characters instead of just one character one person…XD) and my adorable cute lil’ cinnamon roll Meira. Right now they’re all in this great hall on a wild goose chase LOL. No seriously, they’re chasing a goose with three magical properties that everyone’s trying to guess to win this round otherwise they’ll be stuck in the castle forever until they die. So far they’ve narrowed its first property to either immortality or regeneration (did they already guess its first property, I forgot? XD)
    The Hall itself is crowded with “Pawns”; public domain characters that–like the sentient Castle–can be manipulated by any writer at any time to forward the narrative. For the characters themselves, every person should be trying to get as many Pawns on their side as possible to help them in later tests, mazes and puzzles. You can hijack any Pawn’s actions at any time so if someone else’s character–for example– is making a deal with a Pawn, if you write fast you can make that Pawn do something unexpected like betray the character as long as you write the Pawn’s reaction before the other person (I am dying for someone to do that!). So far established Pawn characters are as follows:
    Clock-Lady: this ridiculous, boy-crazy, nanny-friend. She’s middle-aged, wears puffy clock-motif cloths and tons of makeup and she’s probably a little touched and very gullible but incredibly friendly and sweet.
    Spades’ Card Guy: kinda friendly very thin gentry fellow. No character established beyond that. Cards motif.
    A Copy of an old character’s friend (that character has since left the Castle. Actually five posts ago. Castle murdered her 😈)
    Oh and a little girl with pink hair.
    NO WAIT THEY DID GUESS THE GOOSE’S FIRST PROPERTY IT’S TELEPORTATION!
    Ok so Chantara is sly and quiet and is kind of a villain/victim; thin, pale green eyes, shoulder-length black hair, Kongar is a very cheerful creepily bubbly total villain; wiry, green eyes, olive skin(?), Meira ain’t a villain but she’s here because why not, she’s a little Autistic and abrasive but absolutely darling and has a very can-do attitude (even when she can’t); short, silver skin that glows in the dark, purple-pink eyes, long shiny and totally wild inky black hair, Sloane is…I think a dark hero but she has a couple villainous traits, she’s a shapeshifter she’s queer very unpredictable and sassy; (normal form) tall, red hair, mismatched green/blue eyes, light olive skin.

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #137348
    calidris
    @calidris

    Wings and eyes…

    Wings and eyes…

    Wings and eyes and – The Shrike flinched as a knife suddenly sliced through the air, clattering on the marble besides his feet.  His gaze dropped to the blade, vision blurring with unshed tears.

    I can’t escape it.

    This place is worse than Spire. 

    He pried an arm from his knees and gingerly touched the blade, only dimly aware of the commotion in the background.  A fight, most likely.  Not unexpected for a place like this.  The knife was cold and solid beneath his fingers, an expertly crafted blade wrought for one purpose…

    “Who are you?” he whispered the question, to no one in particular – there were plenty of strange faces in this hall, and none of them were particularly kind.

    “Meir – Who the blinking are you?”  The question was not unkind, although the girl’s raised spear said otherwise.

    Good question.

    “Considering that you just appeared from thin air, I think we get to ask that.  I’m Kongar and that’s my friend Chantara.”  Isn’t she charming?”  The Shrike lifted his gaze to see a fierce man standing over him, a wide grin smeared across his face.  A girl glared up at him and tugged her hood over her face.

    “No.”  His hair rippled down his spine as he shoved it back from his face.  “Is this your knife?”  He grasped the weapon firmly, dragging it back towards his feet.

    “Not that I really care.  It’s mine now.”  He shoved it in his pocket, a faint smile passing over his lips as Kongar stared, aghast.

    Pocket dimensions.  You should get one.

    Perhaps it was valuable.  It could come in handy, especially if this Kongar fellow should wish to strike a bargain…

    Wings and eyes…

    Wings and eyes…

    Wings and so many eyes…


    @this-is-not-an-alien
    @rose-colored-fancy Just letting you guys know, the Shrike is rather undeveloped and I’m not sure of the extent of his powers.  So far I only know that he’s a powerful reality bender, so he might be a little inconsistent 🙂

    *laughs as one fey*

    #137360
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @this-is-not-an-alien

    NO WAIT THEY DID GUESS THE GOOSE’S FIRST PROPERTY IT’S TELEPORTATION!

    Wait, hold on! They guessed invisibility but it was supposed to be teleportation. That was right before the castle turned off the lights!

    For the characters themselves, every person should be trying to get as many Pawns on their side as possible to help them in later tests, mazes and puzzles. You can hijack any Pawn’s actions at any time so if someone else’s character–for example– is making a deal with a Pawn, if you write fast you can make that Pawn do something unexpected like betray the character as long as you write the Pawn’s reaction before the other person (I am dying for someone to do that!).

    Okayyy, I haven’t quite figured out how they should be doing this. How are they supposed to get pawns on their side? Are they working toward a specific goal? I’m trying to figure out how to do this because although Chantara is kinda a loner, Kongar isn’t, and this might be something he’d excel at. (‘Cause he’s a manipulative idiot! XD)

    Ok so Chantara is sly and quiet and is kind of a villain/victim; thin, pale green eyes, shoulder-length black hair, Kongar is a very cheerful creepily bubbly total villain; wiry, green eyes, olive skin(?),

    Yep! You got them! They both have kinda light brown skin.

    Also, Chantara is seventeen and about 5’3″ and Kongar is nineteen but looks way younger. He’s… maybe 5’7″, at most.

    Man, their age really hits me every time they do something especially evil. They’re literally children. My poor babies, I feel way too sorry for them! XD

    Just letting you guys know, the Shrike is rather undeveloped and I’m not sure of the extent of his powers.  So far I only know that he’s a powerful reality bender, so he might be a little inconsistent

    Okay, that’s cool! LOL, I know Chantara pretty well, but Kongar is developing as I write him.

    Oooh, guys! I figured out what I’m going to do with them! They both have tragically few scenes (I think Kongar has only two) but I really love their characters. I might end up recycling their personalities into the next book I’m planning.

    And the main character is starting to sound more and more like she might have Chantara’s personality. Whoops.

    Aww, yess, I love writing Kongar way too much. He’s evil and he creeps me out but he’s so freaking fun!

    Kongar

    I eyed my knife. I’d rather like it back, but I was more curious to hear who this stranger was.

    “No.”  He refused, flatly. He shoved his hair out of his face and looked up at me, more afraid than threatening.

    “Is this your knife?” He grabbed my knife and pulled it toward him. “Not that I really care.  It’s mine now.” He shoved it into a pocket, where it seemed to disappear.

    I hid my initial surprise behind a smile.

    “Don’t worry. That wasn’t mine. I don’t have any knives. They just fall from the ceiling every so often,” I said, with a perfectly straight and innocent expression. The stranger stared at me, trying to figure out if I was joking or not.

    Chantara gave an annoyed sigh behind me but I paid her no heed. There was a perfect opportunity here and I wasn’t letting it slip.

    I twisted my wrist ever so slightly and a knife fell from my sleeve. It was one of the smaller ones but made a nice clatter.

    I quietly cursed and ducked to pick it up. Just as I bent over I shrugged, imperceptibly. One of the knives sheathed on my back fell over my shoulder, landing next to the first in what appeared to be an accident.

    I cursed again and knelt, trying to gather both of them. I managed to collect both but let one of the knives in my boot slip out as I got up, so I was left trying to manage two with one still on the ground.

    I glared at it as if it had personally disappointed me and picked it up, this time deciding not to drop anymore before the effect wore off.

    I gripped one of the smaller knives between my teeth as I tried to get the others back in their proper scabbards.

    “Was that one of the poisoned ones?” Chantara asked, quietly, just as I spat out the knife and returned it to my sleeve.

    I froze, then shrugged.

    “Guess we’ll see,” I said, cheerily. “If I get horribly sick within the next ten minutes, I guess it was!”

    “As I just said, I don’t have any knives,” I continued, tucking away the last one.

    Chantara gave another annoyed sigh but the expression of sheer bewilderment on the stranger’s face was entirely worth the knife-dropping show.

    I couldn’t help laughing, he looked more than a little ridiculous.

    “Cat got your tongue?” I asked, cheerily.

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #137378
    calidris
    @calidris

    “Don’t worry. That wasn’t mine.  I don’t have any knives.  They just fall from the ceiling every so often.”  The Shrike gazed up at Kongar curiously.  That wouldn’t be the oddest thing I’ve seen so far…

    A small knife suddenly fell.  Kongar cursed as he ducked to pick it up.  Just then, a second knife clattered to the ground, spinning on the cold marble.  Kongar cursed again, grabbing at the weapon.  A third knife suddenly crashed to the floor.  The Shrike narrowed his eyes.

    Convenient timing.

    Kongar shoved the smallest knife between his teeth, struggling to fit the knives into his scabbards…

    Scabbards?  For a man with no knives, Kongar sure had plenty of places to keep them.

    “Was that one of the poisoned ones?” The girl – Chantara – asked quietly.

    So, Kongar did have knives after all.  Poisoned knives, even.

    Noted.

    “Guess we’ll see,” Kongar said cheerfully.  “If I get horribly sick within the next ten minutes, I guess it was!”  The Shrike watched intently as he tucked the last knife into his sleeve.

    “As I just said, I don’t have any knives.”

    Liar. 

    Kongar shot him a sickening grin.  “Cat got your tongue?”  Kongar burst into laughter.  The Shrike gazed up at him dimly.

    “You’re a liar,” he whispered.

    The Shrike may have been many things, but he wasn’t a liar.  And he most certainly wasn’t a thief, either.  He felt a twinge of regret at taking Kongar’s knife – even though it had been intended to kill him.

    I’ll give it back, eventually.  It would probably be best to wait until he was about to leave, rather than give it back directly.

    He scares me.

    It wouldn’t be long, either.  There wasn’t much point in staying – he could find much less miserable places with a little more effort.  Besides, there was always the chance that Misu would find him again if he stayed anywhere for too long.

    Although…this didn’t seem to be the sort of place that Misu would like either.

     


    @rose-colored-fancy
    I hope you don’t mind, but I did change some of the ending you wrote.  The Shrike is scared, but he’s also very observant and clever.  He isn’t as soft and helpless as he seems lol.  He’s seen too much to be easily fazed.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by calidris.

    *laughs as one fey*

    #137387
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @calidris
    I hope you don’t mind, but I did change some of the ending you wrote.  The Shrike is scared, but he’s also very observant and clever.  He isn’t as soft and helpless as he seems lol.  He’s seen too much to be easily fazed.

    Don’t worry, I barely even noticed it! The Shrike is really interesting so far! I can’t help liking him, he seems very sharp and more soft-hearted than most villains.

    Chantara

    “You’re a liar,” the stranger said, spitting the accusation at Kongar.

    Kongar just rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.

    “I was kidding. Someone’s missing a sense of humor,” he said, with a laugh.

    I couldn’t believe he was joking around, performing that entire elaborate thing with the knives, mere minutes after he’d mercilessly crushed my wounded shoulder and threatened to kill me. I never understood Kongar and I never would.

    “You do know what a joke is, don’t you?” he asked the stranger, teasingly.

    I snorted. My shoulder was aching and my temper was up.

    “You don’t know anything else. You should have become a performer instead,” I said, meaning it as an insult.

    Kongar’s smile flickered, and a deep, unspeakable sadness overshadowed him for the flash of a moment before he securely covered it with another tight laugh.

    “Ever heard of anyone whose life turned out the way they wanted?” He asked, grinning. That wouldn’t fool me.

    I knew nothing about Kongar’s childhood or past. Apparently, he’d just showed up at the Siya at fourteen and asked to join.

    Kongar had a beautiful singing voice, I’d heard it once or twice, and a real love of making people laugh. What had gone so wrong to turn him into this? What had gone so wrong to turn me into this?

    “It isn’t fair, you know. It shouldn’t be like this,” I said, quietly. We shouldn’t be like this.

    “Bless you, silly goose. What else should it be like?” Kongar asked, lightly.

    I sighed and shrugged, wincing as the injury in my shoulder throbbed.

    “Speaking of geese,” Kongar said, shutting off that topic once and for all. “Our lovely friend has given us one chance less, so that’s very helpful. Let’s see what we can do with the last one.”

     

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

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