Character Castle 2.0
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@rose-colored-fancy I just subscribed! And it’s so refreshing to see Aydin as a bigger person. (that sounded weird, but whatever).
@everyone I think after this challenge is over I’m gonna pull Quin and Qatar, and introduce a new character of mine, if that’s okay with everybody?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comYOU KILLED YILA?! Is she going to pull a Qatar (I will forever use that term) or is she truly dead? Either way, POOR NIAROK!
You were not kidding when you said that we would loathe Chantara. I have only read two pages concerning her, and she’s already made me want to yell at her (I’m not physically strong enough to slap her so I’ll settle for a passionate shouting match).
Concerning Aydin, I love seeing the effects of his growth! And I also loved hearing compare Chantara’s reaction to his hand with Faye’s! If needed, I will eagerly whip up a ship name for those two.
@everyone
I’ve recently realized that while Khalon’s actions in the Castle were more or less accurate, his thoughts and motivations were astoundingly inaccurate. So here is an improved Khalon (improved meaning more selfish, more cold, and more conflicted XD)
KHALON 2.0
There were two dragons now; one laying dead and one advancing.
“What is your goal? Identify it and act upon it,” I heard Master Branton’s voice asking me. I quickly surveyed the situation once more. Yila would probably not live much longer, and Niarok was unconcious. (I know that he’s not supposed to know their names, but I’m too lazy right now to come up with accurate nicknames) I felt a pang of pity for Yila, but checked it before it could spur me on to action.
“People will die, and some will have to be left behind. Despite that, keep your mission first and foremost or more will die,” Master Branton’s voice reminded me.
I looked away from them. What is the mission? Get away from these beasts preferably with all limbs remaining attached and with my blood staying within me. I scanned the room. There was a door on the far end. That was my way out. The rest of the people were scattered throughout the room. Some were freeing the captives while others lingered behind, unsure of what to do.
The second dragon was rapidly making its way toward its fallen friend. Remembering how easily Niarok’s arrow had killed the first dragon, I grabbed his bow and quiver from his stiff hands. “Does anyone have decently accurate aim? If so, take these and shoot down that…dragon,” I called out to anyone who was listening. I propped them up against the walls so that they could be easily accessed. I didn’t dare try to shoot since there was a greater chance of me missing than hitting my mark.
As I edged past the dragon, I saw the Cloaked Man (Lorcan) bend over Yila’s burnt body with a look of hopeless pain, and for a moment I glimpsed Mother and Father standing behind him. Their hands were on his shoulders, shifting some of his pain onto themselves so that he would not have to bear it alone. Mother raised her downcast eyes. They were overflowing with a love that was nearly tangible. “Comfort him my son,” she whispered. “Share his burden.” I blinked hard. Mother and Father weren’t there. It was Lorcan alone who was mourning, and alone he would stay. I kept my eyes focused on the door ahead of me, staring so hard that my eyes burned. With a determined step, I walked towards the door.
“Good man, Khalon,” Master Branton’s praise echoed within me. “It’s hard, but the mission first and foremost. Be strong.”
I was almost to the door. Then I made the mistake of glancing towards the prisoners. Aydin, Liorah, and four others were ripping off their chains with great reluctance. It seemed as though the prisoners were enemies to all here. Conroy glanced lazily at me. He shifted his position so that I could see his chains better. He watched me expectantly. The arrogant fool. I turned my back on him. I would not risk my life to save him.
I paused, instinctively waiting for a memory of Master Branton to assure me that what I was doing was right. Instead, a memory of Father delivering some of our crops to Cecil surfaced. I gritted my teeth. Why did I have to think of this now? I glanced behind me. Conroy still lounged on the floor, waiting for me to rescue him. Master Branton would not want me to rescue that insolent priest.
“We want you to,” Mother’s and Father’s voices told me. Another memory came to me. Mother and Father’s final words before I left, “We love you Khalon, remember that. Now go and show that love to everyone you meet.”
I rubbed my head as if to rid myself of these thoughts. If that was my intent, I failed. I rushed toward the door, trying to outrun the chains that were slowing wrapping themselves around my heart. With each step, my heart grew heavier. I stopped abruptly. I couldn’t. I couldn’t continue like this. I had been able to dodge this weight before, but not this time. With a groan of frustration, I marched toward Conroy. Though my heart was still lead within me, it did not weigh me down as much.
I reached Conroy. I took of the pin on my cloak that identified me as a Blessed and began to jiggle the lock on Conroy’s chains. It was a simple one and soon opened. With a grimace, Conroy rolled his wrist.
“That’s m-much b-better,” he stuttered. He stood and stretched. “It t-took you long enough. I was worried that you m-might leave me.”
“Don’t mention it,” I growled.
He tisked. “If you insist, b-but one good t-turn deserves another.”
“Oh, and what might that ‘good turn’ be?”
He stroked his chin mockingly. He snapped his fingers. “I know! I’ll d-delay t-telling of your treachery! Say, maybe for a c-couple months or so. Generous of me, no?”
I smiled grimly. “You know Conroy, seeing that there aren’t any other priests around, and it will be your word against mine, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to do.” Before he could react, I shoved him against the wall and slapped him across his face. Though I would have preferred to unleash more of my emotions, I decided to hold back. I bruised face would work in his favor if he tattled.
Klein set up his rifle quietly. He would hold back and remain on overwatch while the others moved forward. When they moved. The others were looking over the prisoners. None of them looked like good characters. Then he saw one chain in an interesting way. The others had the usual shackles. This one was chained at the waist and ankles. As Klein looked closer, he realized who he was looking at. It was Ling Jian. Ruby squad had fought him before. He had singlehandedly fought off the six of them and escaped. Klein had a nice gash in his ribs from that fight. It was the closest to death he had been. The man had been recruited by the Chinese for their own super soldier project. The problem was that Ling was monster.
What the CIA had found on him was messy. At a young age, he had killed his abusive father but not for revenge or out of defense. After that he had feigned having just snapped and the Chinese fell for it. Drafted to the military, he had continued to hide his inner killer. After he had been enhanced however, the mask fell. On his first mission, Ling went rouge. He killed the target and then his squad. After that he vanished with the only hints being unsolved crimes that led to Mars.
Klein trained his gun. Ling was very dangerous. The Chinese didn’t use the humane technique that Klein had undergone. Rather than give the body what it needed and the environment tailored for extreme toughness, they grafted what they wanted onto the draftees. This was irreversible. The lord castle had called Klein a living weapon. Ling truly was one, a weapon that killed friend, foe and innocent.
Then everything went wrong. There was a scream. Klein jumped and snapped around. Yila had done something. Before he could tell what exactly, a deep rumbling froze him. The dragon was awake.
“WHO HAS WOKEN ME?”
Klein kept still. It was a very low chance but maybe it could forgive them.
“THIS IS THE ONE.”
And that was the end of that chance. Snapping his rifle up, Klein opened fire. The eye was a clear target. The bullet failed to connect however. A glassy third eyelid snapped shut. Cursing, Klein jumped as fire flew at him. Finding new cover, he sought out new targets. Reverse scale, inside the jaw, anything Klein could think of. After a short but fierce battle, the dragon fell. In its reptilian death throws however, a final jet of flame hit Yila.
That was twice. Twice Klein had failed to protect children. He had tried his best and still failed. As Niarok knelt over his sister, Klein leaned against a ruined pillar. What was he doing wrong? Why couldn’t he protect the children? They deserved the opportunity to smile, to be happy, to not be plagued by pain. Why couldn’t he win that opportunity for them? With a yell, Klein punched the ruin. It shattered, the upper half tipping over opposite Klien. His hand burned. The armor protected from impacts but the force of them could still be felt.
Walking to Ling, Klein looked him in the eyes. Ling just looked back with deep, empty eyes.
“Hello there Ling Jian. You speak English?”
“A little.” The reply was emotionless.
“Will good. I’ll keep it simple. Ever kill anyone under 18?”
Klien knew he had. He just wanted him to say it.
“Yes. Why not? Killing is fun. People die in so many ways. Some will beg for life. Other will…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve heard enough of folks like you. You killed one and you get a taste for it.”
“Exactly.” Giggled Ling. His eyes were brighter. He was thinking he found one like himself. Klein would disappoint him.
“Well, give my regards to Mao Zedong.”
With hesitation, Klein pulled the trigger. Ling went limp, shocked by the shot. Then he smiled, a great, haunting one.
“It feels good. You will join me soon.”
“I doubt it. I fight to protect, you kill for fun.”
“Yet you couldn’t protect the girl.”
Klein fired again, this time in the head. Ling died with his grin still on his face.
“I’ll keep trying though. And you won’t be there to see it.”
The Devil saw me with my head down and got excited. Then I said Amen
@rusted-knight oh my! How characteristic of Klein, and yet so unexpected. Poor guy…he can’t protect every one in the world. :'(
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comI just subscribed! And it’s so refreshing to see Aydin as a bigger person. (that sounded weird, but whatever).
Thank you! I really appreciate it!
Oh, yes, absolutely! This is so different from his pre-arc interactions with Chantara, I was shocked. He used to be much more tolerant toward her, it’s very satisfying to see him get really mad at her for once, she deserves it! Also letting Liorah just punch her was immensely satisfying XD
I love how almost all characters have the reaction of “I’m going to set you free but I’m also going to punch you now I have the chance” XD
@everyone I think after this challenge is over I’m gonna pull Quin and Qatar, and introduce a new character of mine, if that’s okay with everybody?
Awesome! I can’t wait to meet them! I’ll be doing the same thing, I want to get someone else in here for a while!
@everyone
I can either bring in Mejt, the MC from my “Pirate novel” or Athena and Ophelia from the mystery!
Athena and Ophelia already have an interesting dynamic which will be fun to work from, but Mejt is indivudually very interesting and they all need development XD
Ophelia is a ballet student and Athena does something with criminology. (I thought forensics first but I’m leaning more toward the psychologial side of it so I’m not sure)
Mejt is a seamstress and the daughter of a lighthouse keeper.
Ophelia is light-hearted and a bit ditsy and naive. She seems a stereotypical dumb blonde, though she’s much smarter than she appears.
Athena is pretty calculating and clever, though less empathetic than Ophelia.
Mejt is kind, but bitter and very sly and secretive when it comes down to it.
Who do y’all vote for?
You were not kidding when you said that we would loathe Chantara. I have only read two pages concerning her, and she’s already made me want to yell at her (I’m not physically strong enough to slap her so I’ll settle for a passionate shouting match).
Ha, that was my one true goal! 😀 I’m glad you loathe her as much as I do! She’s truly a horrible person, and this is like her ultimate low point of the worst villainy. She used to be a bit more sympathetic but she kept getting worse as the story wore on.
Concerning Aydin, I love seeing the effects of his growth! And I also loved hearing compare Chantara’s reaction to his hand with Faye’s! If needed, I will eagerly whip up a ship name for those two.
I love it too! I’m so proud of how he’s growing 🥰
Oh, yes, Fayedin is absolutely a ship! I love them so much, they’re adorable! I considered getting Faye into the castle for a while, but there isn’t much to see because they’re both oblivious and shy so it’s just mutual pining XD
I’ve recently realized that while Khalon’s actions in the Castle were more or less accurate, his thoughts and motivations were astoundingly inaccurate. So here is an improved Khalon (improved meaning more selfish, more cold, and more conflicted XD)
I loved reading it! He isn’t as nice, but he’s so much more interesting! I like it a lot more!
That was facinating to read! It was very in character but I didn’t really expect it! I love how protective Klein is, it makes me like him so much more!
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
I vote for Ophelia and Athena–or all three! But you must tell me how to pronounce Mejt. I must know, lol!
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comI vote for Ophelia and Athena–or all three! But you must tell me how to pronounce Mejt. I must know, lol!
Awesome! *Takes a note*
As far as I could find, it’s pronounced May-et, though she often goes by May, because in-story it’s a foreign name and everyone ends up calling her May anyway XD
It’s actually a Swedish name which means sea of bitterness which is just the most perfect name for her XD
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Swedish is good! I’m part Swedish. 🙂 That’s pretty! I’d love to meet her, too, so take my vote for what it’s worth, lol–I’m terrible at decisions!
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
https://silverpenstrokes.wordpress.comI loved reading it! He isn’t as nice, but he’s so much more interesting! I like it a lot more!
Thank you! I enjoyed writing him this way.
Who do y’all vote for?
I’ll say Mejt. She seems like an intriguing character (and she’s got a cool name)
@everyone
Ha! Soooo I neglected to mention this, but I’m going to be fasting tech for Lent, which means I’m not going to be on SE at all… I don’t have time to read through everyone’s posts, so assume that Evie, Niarok, and Yila’s body just suddenly disappeared as I’m putting them into another part of the Castle and then y’all don’t have to worry about them until I get back and pull them out of their holding room (in which they will experience lots of unseen trauma, of course! XD)
Thus, I will “see” everyone in about a month and a half! BYEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
"The darkness is seldom complete, and even when it is, the pinprick of light is not long in coming."
I’ll say Mejt. She seems like an intriguing character (and she’s got a cool name)
Awesome! I’m leaning toward her too, just because I’ll be writing her story first (probably)
Ha! Soooo I neglected to mention this, but I’m going to be fasting tech for Lent, which means I’m not going to be on SE at all…
Okay! Have a good Lent, I look forward to seeing you appear again! 😀
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?
Lorcan
Lorcan could feel a roaring in his head, building to a crescendo. Everything else faded away, his senses centering on Niarok rocking his sister’s body, trying to revive her.
He had the distinct feeling of someone speaking to him. Daire perhaps, though he didn’t care to look. He wouldn’t have the energy to anyway. All he could do was stare at her crumpled body on the ground.
How could this have happened? And so fast too-
He should have been at her side. He should have – been there. To protect her.
His jaw shook. He was useless – just a blasted, good for nothing, piece of-
Lorcan couldn’t remember walking, but suddenly he had dropped to his knees beside a sobbing Niarok. His jaw twitched, his shoulders shaking slightly as he forced himself to look at Yila.
Her burn injuries – they were too serious. Even if he had been there to help her – she would have still died on impact. He turned away, staring at the dusty ground.
He should have been there to save her. Wasn’t he one of the strongest here? Then how could-
He squeezed his eyes shut as forbidden thoughts arose in his head, and he saw that cheeky, brunette little girl. Wind blew through her long hair, her eyes sparkling with mischief. She was pulling him towards the cliffs, to a secret place that only belonged to them. “Come one, slow coach, we have to get there before the tide comes in!”
“I guess I’ll just have to save you from the big bad sea then, won’t I?” Lorcan winked at her.
She cackled, the sound contagious in his ears.
Lorcan shook the memory away, and rubbed his eyes. His chest was heavy with dark emotions, with burdens too many to count.
This was the second time he had failed to protect a girl his heart yearned to be near to.
So … I have no clue what to do, so I’ll drop this here.
______
RÚAN:
Our eyes were locked dead on each other, staring through the chaos that ensued around us. It was an unblinking bridge of pure, numb hate.
Histories of bloodshed and violence could not sum up against the antipathy channelled in this single reciprocated glare.
The background noise lowered to a hum, drowned in the ocean of hatred that crashed between us, swallowed by the waves of anger that slowly began to turn our cognitive gears anew.
Osløn’s ice-blue eyes.
My sea-green eyes.
The stare of enemies.
The stare of brothers.
I suddenly found my feet carrying me towards him. Osløn did not blink; neither did I.
Then only two feet separated us, even though we were worlds apart.
“Brother,” Osløn wheezed, his once silky voice now rattling in his throat like a maraca. He had to tilt his chin up at a rather uncomfortable angle to look me in the face from his place on the ground
“Do not,” I quavered. “Do not … ever … use that term to address me.”
“Then shall I address you as your title demands?” he sneered. “As King Rúan MacAodhàn Pyrestone?”
His face met my boot, rather hard.
“Don’t mock me!” I roared, snapping my arm down to grasp his collar.
I yanked him up, and our noses touched. They were the same, our noses.
Because they were my mother’s nose.
“What are you going to do, Rúan?” Osløn hissed, his lip curling up and disfiguring the lovely pink print of my boot’s underside on his face. “You’re not going to kill me, are you? You wouldn’t kill the spawn of your mother Fernya, now would you?”
“Shut that chilly trap of yours, Hvítur.”
Would my mother grieve the loss of her firstborn?
The question nagged me like an attention-seeking child tugging at my clothes.
Oh for Sheol’s sake, we didn’t even have the same father. And Osløn’s nasty father had been of Glacia, the clan of ice with which we were currently at war.
It was my mother’s fault she chose surrogacy to help support her family …
Osløn seemed to have known what I was thinking — HE ALWAYS DID — because his sneering smile turned into a full-blown grin, and his shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. “Always running into the same dead ends, aren’t you, brother?”
“Silence,” I growled, sucking in breaths through my nose and making my nostrils flare dangerously.
But he ignored me. “Always the same mistakes, over and over—”
“Silence.”
“—just like your father. Because I know you. You’re just like him. That is why he fell in that assault on your castle, because he was trying to be noble in letting my mother and her second unborn son escape—”
“I said silence!” I howled as I threw him against the wall. The crash of his body against the stone was muted by the intense ringing in my ears. The way he crumpled to the floor in a pathetic heap was blinded by how red the world had gone.
_____
@denali-christianson — okay, bye! We’ll miss you! Have a happy, holy Lent. <3Anxious gremlin coming through
@everyone sorry I haven’t been as active recently! I think we have so many characters in here that it’s getting hard to establish any new character dynamics besides the relationships we already have. Also, I have a friend who’s going to be joining Story Embers soon, and I don’t want to just drop her right in the middle of this unbridled chaos lol. So, I’m planning on starting a third Character Castle. Would anyone here be interested in joining?
@denali-christianson Bye! See you after Lent!
@rusted-knight aww poor Klein 🙁 That’s a side of him I wasn’t expecting to see, but it’s incredibly in-character for him
@mamaauthoress I’m very interested in this side of Ruan’s backstory! Is Oslon Ruan’s illegitimate half brother? Also, I had no idea they were fighting an ice clan! Does each clan have powers? Are there otheer clans with powers in Ruan’s world?Also, I’m planning on moving or copying Basil and/or Saskia into the new castle if Ruan would like to join 🙂 I know that it’s been kind of hard getting him into the established character dynamics, and I really loved his conversation with Basil (awkward as it was lol), so if you feel like moving or just copying him into the new castle, you’re more than welcome!
*laughs as one fey*
Is Oslon Ruan’s illegitimate half brother?
Well … yes, pretty much. I don’t really like revealing this anywhere outside of my WIP, since it’s going to be a groundbreaking plot twist in my WIP. But I thought it would be a good dynamic to explain why Rúan hates him 100x more than he did before he found out. 😅
Does each clan have powers? Are there otheer clans with powers in Ruan’s world?
Yup! 7 clans, 7 elemental powers:
Light (Lustris clan)
Water (Aquarial clan)
Air (Zephyrine clan)
Earth (Terrae clan)
Fire (Blazing clan, Rúan’s clan)
Ice (Glacia clan)
Shadow (Skotor clan)Also, I’m planning on moving or copying Basil and/or Saskia into the new castle if Ruan would like to join 🙂
Actually … I think that’s a good idea. I’ve definitely found it hard for Rúan to get into the dynamics and bonds that the others already have.
I know that it’s been kind of hard getting him into the established character dynamics, and I really loved his conversation with Basil (awkward as it was lol), so if you feel like moving or just copying him into the new castle, you’re more than welcome!
Yes! Exactly!! It’s already hard for me to feel included in a group when everyone else already have bonds and inside jokes and whatnot. I’ll do that.
Oooooo and maybe I can bring in another character too … 😏
Ahh yes, I totally loved his and Basil’s conversation so much. I love it when I get to see other characters/people that are as awkward or more awkward as I am. 😆
Anxious gremlin coming through
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