March 19, 2020 at 7:05 pm #109130Taylor Clogston@taylorclogston
@daeus-lamb I like the last one I said I liked. I think the new one lacks the personal drama and bombast of the previous one, and just feels like a sales pitch.
I also agree with Noah about the eternal rewrite bit.
"...the one with whom he so sought to talk has already interceded for him." -The Master and MargaritaMarch 25, 2020 at 9:36 pm #109422Josiah DeGraaf@josiah
@daeus-lamb Sorry for missing this earlier! Honestly, my favorite one in this discussion is the first revision you did from the initial draft from your blurb artist at the top of page 3. I may add a line about the other two allies to the wizard paragraph. But I personally felt like that one was the most specific and grabbing (though I do like the “turn men into monsters” line and also the “he was a thousand too late.” This is probably a too many cooks in the kitchen situation. 😛 But that’s my two cents!
Lit fanatic. Eclectic reader. Theology nerd. Writing fantasy at https://josiahdegraaf.comMarch 26, 2020 at 7:52 pm #109458Daeus Lamb@daeus-lamb
Well, I think I finally have my blurb! I took the time to get out of my editors’s head and read the recent blurbs with a fresh mind. This one just felt right to me.
In the beginning, the Songkiller sang chaos into the fabric of the world. Now, he’s returning to finish his dark symphony…
Exton hunts for redemption at the throne of the immortal Songkiller who caused his mother’s death. Journeying with a world-weary wizard, a battle-hungry ranger, and a best friend who begins to doubt him, Exton aims to drag the Songkiller from his throne and sever his head…
But he’s a thousand years too late, and more helpless than when he watched his mother die. This time, he doesn’t get a second chance. No one escapes the Songkiller or his song of power…
The song that turns men to monsters.
It’s definitely a huge improvement from my first blurb. So the moral of the story is, it can be worth it to edit your blurb twenty times, but around that point you might become convinced the solution is never-ending editing, so take a break, look back at your work, and you might be surprised.
👖 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢March 26, 2020 at 7:57 pm #109459
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