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Is there anyone out there who is fluent enough in Spanish to let me know what you think of some poetry I’ve written in said language? @dekreel maybe? Anyone?
I’ve gotten feedback on these poems I’ve written, but only from English-speakers once I’ve translated them…and there’s always at least rhythm and nuance lost in translation, if not more. :/ If there are any lovely hispanohablantes out there who’d like to volunteer themselves, I’d appreciate it very muchly. 😀
Ambiverted INFP. Scribbles all the words. Names the plant friends. Secretly Edna the Piguirrel.
@scribbles I’m not fluent, by any means, but I know enough to get by. I probably won’t be very helpful, but I would LOVE to see what you’ve written! That sounds so cool!
INFJ | singer/songwriter | swimmer | it's an underscore, people!!
@scribbles *gasps* YES YES YES YES!!!!
Um, *ahem,* yes, I’d love to critique your poetry! I’m pretty fluent in Spanish. I think @dragon-snapper is, too!
ENFP-T. Cartoonist, "half-writer", wolfish.
BlogI’m not fluent at all but I enjoy studying and learning languages. I’d love to look at your poetry!
A writer is a world trapped in a person. -Victor Hugo
I’m semi fluent in Spanish @scribbles. I could definitely take a look!
ISFJ / Poet / Realistic Fiction / TCK
https://livforhim.wordpress.com/@m_corinnemusic @dekreel @martina @livgiordano Yay! I really appreciate it! if you *can* comment or critique, that would be great, but if not, that’s fine too. And if there’s any of it that you don’t understand, definitely ask me and I’ll translate words or explain structures or whatever. 🙂
So here’s one I wrote called “Olvido” or “Forgetting.” The background on this one is that I was getting to be friends with a Spanish speaker, but we were trying to communicate with limited English on his part and limited Spanish on my part, and I just wanted so much to overcome that language barrier, but it’s SO HARD (as all of you know) to actually improve your skills in a second language. 😛
Quisiera hablar más
de esta lengua
que me encanta.
Quisiera hablar más
contigo.
Pero…yo olvido.
Me olvido de como decir
lo que quiero decir.
Me olvido de las palabras.
Me olvido de tu lengua.
Me olvido de mi lengua.
Ningún idioma es suficiente
cuando yo veo tu cara.
Quisiera decir tanto más.
Pero yo olvido.
Ambiverted INFP. Scribbles all the words. Names the plant friends. Secretly Edna the Piguirrel.
@dekreel Lol. Well, I speak some spanish, but I’m actually only taking Spanish 2 right now. However, I should be taking AP Spanish in my Senior year. … I’m just not fluent yet. 😛
*melts chair*
@scribbles That is really well done! A few things…
Me olvido de como decir
I think for that, you don’t need the “de” in that line. For these lines as well…take out the “de”.
Me olvido de las palabras.
Me olvido de tu lengua.
Me olvido de mi lengua.
Anndd…I think, instead of “Pero yo olvido” it would “Pero lo olvido”. This is where it isn’t a direct translation.
But overall, this is beautiful! I love it, and I can relate to this poem so well, especially when I struggle to say everything I want to with Spanish friends. There’s a language barrier that’s soo hard to overcome.
ISFJ / Poet / Realistic Fiction / TCK
https://livforhim.wordpress.com/@scribbles That’s so beautiful! I always love seeing how other languages put things graphically- “Ningún idioma es suficiente” like “no idiom is sufficient.” Though the direct translation is just “No language is enough.” The feelings are different.
I sing classically, and I’ve been working on some Italian arias. The literal translation of one line, “Aprimi il petto e vedrai scritto il core.” is “Open my bosom and see written on my heart.” You can see how “scritto il core” would be “Inscribed in my core, my deepest part, my heart.” It’s such a rich visualization, and it’s interesting to see how other languages do that.
I think your poetry is really great- I’d love to see more if you have any!
INFJ | singer/songwriter | swimmer | it's an underscore, people!!
@scribbles What a cool idea! I’m learning Spanish and am ok at it. I enjoyed your poem! I understood most of the words and guessed at the meanings of others. I got the gist of it though!
"I cannot live without books." -Thomas Jefferson
@livgiordano Ah, excellent points. Regarding the “olvidarse de” situation, I did some research. Turns out, you only need the “de” if you forgot to do something. Also, I realized that the last line should actually still be the reflexive form of the verb, so “pero me olvido,” because it isn’t an intentional action. (Nobody likes to take fault in the Spanish language, so the reflexive verb is used to shift blame, essentially…for example, you don’t drop a book in Spanish, it falls from you. Totally the book’s fault. Haha!)
@m_corinnemusic That’s really neat that you sing classically. I do too…just…in my car…while no one else is listening. I could be fantastic for all we know, but it’s going to remain a mystery. XD I also love how rich the Latin languages are in imagery and emotion. I guess there’s a reason they call them romance languages. And thank you for the compliments. 🙂
@allison-grace Isn’t it fun when you learn enough Spanish that you can understand things from context??? That’s just the coolest, because then your understanding of the language snowballs if you keep reading things! 😀Ambiverted INFP. Scribbles all the words. Names the plant friends. Secretly Edna the Piguirrel.
Okay, so revised:
Quisiera hablar más
de esta lengua
que me encanta.
Quisiera hablar más
contigo.
Pero…me olvido.
Me olvido de como decir
lo que quiero decir.
Me olvido las palabras.
Me olvido tu lengua.
Me olvido mi lengua.
Ningún idioma es suficiente
cuando yo veo tu cara.
Quisiera decir tanto más.
Pero me olvido.
Ambiverted INFP. Scribbles all the words. Names the plant friends. Secretly Edna the Piguirrel.
@scribbles It is cool!
"I cannot live without books." -Thomas Jefferson
@scribbles, *reads it* *reads it revised*
*sighs* That’s beautiful. *sniffs* reminds me of home.
Anyways, good job! Sorry, I didn’t look at this sooner.
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. ~ J. R. R. Tolkien
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