November 1, 2019 at 6:24 pm #99807Sarah Inkdragon@sarah-inkdragon
To put it short – we need help. Somehow, I, the elusive and mystical analytical machine The INTJ, has ended up with an ENFP protagonist.
I am not a feelings-person, nor do I know many feelings-people who are this type of person. So yes. Meet Kirin – the fiercely independent and goal-oriented brain-child of mine who just had to end up this way due to circumstance I may or may not have been in complete control of. But here he is, and he’s throwing me for a loop.
So. To sum it up, because there is far to little time to tell you everything – how do you ENFP’s function? Are you truly as crazy as my character is in day-to-day life, passionate about every little thing and very charming as they say you are supposed to be – or not? Can you make plans and not jeopardize them(e.g. – can you go through with what you plan?)? Are you very determined to meet your goals when you make them, or is it more something in the back of your mind? What’s more – do you think you’re a very emotional person, who gets riled up(not necessarily in a bad way) over things?
Please do help, Kirin’s brain is exceedingly mystifying to me. 😉
"A hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head."
- C. S. LewisNovember 2, 2019 at 1:12 am #99832EricaWordsmith@ericawordsmith
This will be fun…
DISCLAIMER: I am a hybrid XNFP but I go by ENFP because I have for years and am not as quiet as most INFPs. But I relate to a LOT of INFP stuff.
And this will be long.
Before I begin, the key term that must be remembered is genuine paradox.
Are we as crazy as they come? Yes.
Passionate about what we are passionate about and very lax for things we don’t care for (most the time)? Yes.
Jeopardize them? Yes and no. Both at the same time.
Emotional? Yes, but not like we’re portrayed a lot of the time.
So I’ll go through each and explain a little. Another disclaimer… ENFPs are each very unique. There’s no two same ENFPs.
1. Yes, I am crazy and do ridiculous things… I kick puddles for fun and laugh when my clothes get wet. People know that when I get that mischievous gleam in my eyes and say that I have an idea/or ask them if they want to hear what I did, they know beforehand to get ready for a face palm. But am I also a very quiet person at times, even shy? Yes. I can be shy (believe it or not). Do I carry myself like a lady and have a professional air that is somehow childish at the same time? Yes. I am crazy, but not in the traditional sense when it comes to teen girls. Often times teen girl drama has me rolling my eyes, but you should always expect to see me go from being quiet to suddenly doing something shocking then pretending to wear a halo. And still trying to look professional. Just get used to me trying things just because it can be tried and I wonder what will happen.
2. Passionate. Absolutely. Cause every night I lie in bed, the brightest colors fill my head, a million dreams are keeping me awake… I personally am very passionate about things both big and small. If I put my heart into something, my whole heart is there. Pretty much an all or nothing person. And when I do something, I make it very personal to me, so if it falls through, it can be very painful, even if it’s a small project. But I will say, I don’t come at things the way other people are passionate about things. It’s a very unique way…
3. Goals. Yes. And I’m a perfectionist… So it takes a long time to finish anything… But yes, I have goals. And no clear path to get there. I definitely play by ear. And often times I succeed almost subconsciously because somehow I know how to get there without a map… But that may mean that I take longer than other people to get where I’m wanting to go. BUT!! That means it’s an adventure with high highs and low lows. We love challenges. (Just saying, this is one reason why INTJs are awesome with ENFPs because they help us to think clearly much of the time…)
4. Jeopardizing goals. Every step of the way. And at least for me, half of me is panicking because I second guess myself all the time, but the other half is loving the thrill of the adventure. (Another reason why INTJs are very helpful)
5. Emotional…. O.K… Yes, deeply, but we aren’t absolute wrecks either that can’t hold themselves together. Here’s how I would summarize how I feel things/respond to emotion. This will be long…
My world is spinning with color and emotion, and this can change very quickly. I feel things very deeply or am otherwise indifferent to it. But do people see this? Well… That depends on how much I trust the person. I think with most people I endeavor to be the strong one and to hold everything together, be happy and sound put together. If they are down, then I will do everything in my power to help them and let them know that I am there for them in whatever way they need me to be there. I don’t shy away from emotion in other people. If someone is crying, then I want to offer them my shoulder to cry on, or I will try to help them in any way that I can. Let them talk it out, if they want a solution, try to give them suggestions or ideas, ask them questions that could help, or if they just want to cry, then let them cry and gently remind them of the truth when they are ready for it. Just saying, this is very rewarding to me with my INTP sister who HATES crying in front of people and my INTJ best friend. Both of them feel safe crying around me, and to me this means the world that they are willing to let down their guard enough to let me see them cry. Those two are my best friends… (And if anything ever happens to me, those two will join together in a mastermind force to destroy the person who hurt me in the most unspeakably cruel and strategic way possible)
ANYWAY!! Back to my own emotions… I don’t like to show the depths of my emotion to a lot of people because I want to protect them from the intensity of it and I don’t trust them enough to let that intensity be shown. I don’t think anyone has ever seen me when I am genuinely furious in the deepest sense of the word… And I don’t want people to see that. Ever. And very few people have seen me cry when I hurt the most. Very few people REPEAT very few people are trusted enough for me to feel safe revealing the deepest emotional side of me. And even so, there are varying levels of trust I have in people
However… You will see mood swings. I am not afraid to cry in front of people if it’s quiet crying. But most times if I’m mad or sad or just very contemplative, I get very quiet and non-conversational. Or I start singing.
So… a few tips I will leave you with…
ENFPs (at least ones like me) are strong and sensitive at the same time. Professional and childish. I don’t know if we ever completely grow up. We VALUE alone time (I think ones that hate being alone are often times borderline ESFPs). We’re the most introverted extroverts. We take delight in little things, laugh hard and a lot, love to make people laugh and have fun. We enjoy dwelling on philosophical/depressing or intense things. We’re curious about everything. We’re exceptional at understanding people’s perspectives. I think this goes on more of the INFP side, but we’re good listeners and love to be there for people. We hate being normal, or average and love to be unique. We hate being boxed in and will always want to know all of our options and consider them before making a decision. But at the same time, we have Fi which is like a tapestry of moral codes that we MUST live by and never contradict it. If the weave is messed up, we will do everything we can to smooth it out as soon as possible. We are free spirits that have strict moral codes that we come to by taking every new piece of information and weaving it in to fit with our Fi. To me this is why it is EXTREMELY important for us to have a Biblical worldview and stay rooted in Scriptural truths.
But… in regards to other people… We love to feel that we’re understood by a safe few, and loved for who we truly are. We love to love deeply, and we love to be taken care of because we take care of people so much of the time, and will often never ask to have someone take care of us. This for me can be extremely draining that I feel that very few people understand how to take care of me, and I will 90% of the time never ask a person outright to take care or me. A very few people are asked to do that because I never want to ask a person to do something they don’t want to do. Most of the time, the majority of people can only offer band-aids and don’t know how to actually make me feel safe. I rarely let all the guards down and just allow myself to be completely vulnerable… but that being said, I’m still more vulnerable than an INTJ.
Another thing… Because we’re extremely loyal people, we value loyalty in other people. I think this is one reason why it takes a long time for me to really trust people deeply is because it takes a long time to prove your loyalty… It definitely takes a long time to prove to me that you are willing to love me unconditionally. This goes for just about anyone and everyone. I’m oftentimes afraid that I’ll hurt someone I love and they will withdraw. That’s probably the biggest reason why I don’t show how strongly I feel about something or say everything that I’m thinking. I don’t want to risk showing how afraid or weak I might actually feel in that moment. But even if you do withdraw… it will take us a very long time to withdraw from someone we care about. It takes a heaping mountain of hurt to make us cut ties… I’ll never forget the night that my best friend proved to me that she valued me as a friend. I wanted so badly to be close to her, but I still wanted to respect her space if she didn’t want to be close. About a week into the two week camp we were at together, my room was having a conversation in which I was feeling a little insecure and alone and didn’t want to show it. My best friend saw right through it, came up and gave me a long hug (INTJs have the best hugs EVER!!!). I didn’t let her go for a long time and from then on we just got closer and closer. Just saying… one of the absolute best ways to prove that you won’t give up on us and care about us is to just give us a hug when we’re scared or rub our shoulders when we’re crying. You don’t have to say anything. Just let us know that you won’t let us go and that you’re there. Oftentimes that and a listening ear is all we need before we go take a nap or go to bed and wake up feeling like we can be brave like we need to be.
Also… We are very much thinkers. Big time. I love to have intellectual conversations about almost anything. When things get philosophical, that’s when it get’s fun. I love to hear how people feel about things, and I could discuss an idea or belief until that topic has gone from the original topic to a topic ten miles down the road and five hours later. Also… I am always thinking about how others perceive me. I’m always trying to get into their head and understand how they are internally responding to me. Often times even when I’m being my silliest, I am still thinking about how I’m coming across and understanding that they may be shaking their heads at me.
And… We have vivid imaginations. I’ve heard it said that we view the world a little differently than any of the other types. I think we do…
And… I make a lot of friends with XNTXs. Like I said before, my best friend is an INTJ and my little sister who was more mature at age three than I was at thirteen (who is now thirteen now… and an unbelievable young lady), the INTP is one of my best friends in the world. You guys have the most awesome minds and I could just sit back and listen to what comes out of your mouths. And send a rant right back. And listen again. My suite mate is a rather blunt ENTX (I think P) and we have the wildest bathroom conversations…
Lastly… If you want some ideas of what we might be like… I would compare myself to Belle from Beauty and the Beast walking around with my head in another world and different from everybody else… I’ve been told I’m a lot like Belle actually… and it’s very true… BUT add the mischievous, curious playfulness of Rapunzel and Anna.
Also, listen to Owl City music. I think Adam Young must be an INFP. Some of his songs really capture how my brain works (especially Fireflies).
So… That was a rant. XD BUT!! That is how I work!! I hope it’s helpful! If you have any other questions feel free to ask and I’ll get to it when I have time. That is my version of ENFP for you. And I 100% enjoyed this rant.
P.S. I nearly forgot. Charming? Well… what do you think? 😉 *Smiles angelically and curtsies*
Probably not to anyone who read what I just wrote… So don’t answer that question.
But… A mature ENFP… Is highly charming. Even to other ENFPs.
Just ask an INTJ who has a personal ENFP.
Tek an ohta! Tek an cala!November 3, 2019 at 9:41 pm #100000Naiya Dyani@naiya-dyani
@sarah-inkdragon Now it’s my turn to help you 🙂
My sister is an ENFP. My general sum-uppance (yeah, that’s not a word) of her personality is, she’s energetic-quirky. (Side note, she has ADHD which may affect this a bit or a lot.) She randomly gets passionate about stuff and often drags me along for the ride. She’s the reason I’m interested in MBTI and Japanese and why I watch anime from time to time. I’ve known her to binge-watch whole animes in a matter of days! She’s not passionate about everything, though–she sometimes gives us strongly-worded rants about her college workload and the crazy people she has to deal with (sometimes quite reasonably, I’ll grant!) (hm, I guess that’s just a different form of passion lol) and can be a procrastination and distraction queen. She does, however, get the job done on time (sometimes in ways I can only describe as miraculous)!
She’s a very friendly person, but don’t be fooled—the sarcasm is strong with this one. She especially lets her sassy side loose with me. And I retaliate in kind .
On a somewhat more serious side, she’s very encouraging. I always feel a bit ashamed when she lavishes praise on my writing because I’m not as free as I ought to be with the encouragement when she shows me songs she’s written (did I mention she’s a singer/songwriter?). Although her general attitude is lighthearted and sarcastic, she can be serious when the topic asks for it. She’s also not afraid to state her opinion. At all 😀 .
Goals. . . phew, the whole concept of those confuses me 😀 . What she said when I asked her about this (and she protested against my using her exact words, which protest I may or may not have heeded 😛 ) was that she is determined about goals she sets for herself, but the problems start when other people make short-term goals for her 😛 . I mean, she’ll follow through on it. . . just not too happily 😀 .
She strikes me as pretty emotional. She can give some pretty impressive reactions—sometimes loud ones. But hey, our whole family except for my mom is loud, so it’s not like she’s the only one 😀 . She doesn’t often go into things half-hearted. I mean, unless they’re boring 😀 .
I hope that helps! If you have any further questions, let me know and I’ll do my best to help!
Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.
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