January 14, 2020 at 2:03 pm #103760
Guysssssss. . . can I have some help please. . .
I have a character that’s giving me trouble. A sensitive character. A sensitive GUY character.
I really don’t want to mess this up.
I asked for help before, but that was with specific questions for INFP guy characters. Now I’m just looking for suggestions like “don’t do this or it’ll be unrealistic” or “do this to really bring the character out” . . . anything in that realm. I can specify things like backstory/development/plot as needed, but to start with, do you have any suggestions that come to mind automatically?
I’ll tag a few known INFP guys (thank you people that put your MBTI in your signature also sorry for skulking through the forums to find you), but if you’re a non-INFP guy or a girl and have advice, seriously, please do put it here! I could use whatever you’ve got! 😀
Thank you. . .
@karthmin @i-david @trallion
Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.January 14, 2020 at 2:52 pm #103768Trallion@trallion
Hmmm, well a lot of it depends on the specific personality of the character.
If he’s an INFP, I’d say he would probably try to hide his emotions mostly, although if someone he trusts asks him, like really asks him and talks to him, then he might be able to open up. So trust could be a big thing?
Because he’s sensitive, things could hurt him deeply, but he would try not to show it, so having him react intensely on the outside would most likely be unrealistic.
Of course, your character will be unique so none of this may be applicable at all, and these are only my personal ideas, but hopefully it was somewhat helpful 😉
Writer, Composer, Runner, INFP-A.January 14, 2020 at 8:22 pm #103771DeepRun@deeprun
I’m not a guy INFP but I am a very deeply rooted one. And I know a man infp.
I’d be very interested to see what other INFP’s say but I’m two people. The outer shell I have to be to survive. Things like checkout lines, human interaction, and paying bills. It’s not thick and it’s not the true me. Like @trallion said, if someone really, really wants to know, I’m all in and will say what’s really going on inside. The real me. The souful part that doesn’t do well with the real world.
I’ve also read that INFP can be the most awkward of the personalities. Culture values extroverted, sensory, logical people who can keep a day planner. I forget what year it is.
That said, I’m not a fluffy INFP. I’m the kind that when aggravated, I come out swinging and breathing fire. It has to be provoked and usually lies within a breach of my inner moral compass or sense of justice.
Highly creative, intuitive and deeply intuned and loyal to a few.
You do not have a soul. You have a body.
You are a soul. - C.S. LewisJanuary 14, 2020 at 9:57 pm #103772
Trust is an interesting thing for him. Part of his backstory is that a friend he literally trusted with his life (kind of had to) once betrayed him. After a few things went haywire, his friend tried to fix things (he was manipulated into betraying him), but it took a long time for things to heal.
On a slightly different level, his backstory has a lot to do with how he emotionally trusts people. He grew up in a pretty callous, violent tribe that has a strong unspoken “men don’t cry or show much emotion at all” outlook. He ended up with this inward battle between his innate nature and his culture, trying to act like everyone else so he wouldn’t be marginalized but feeling pathetic because he wasn’t actually their standard of what a man should be. As he got older, he slowly began to decide that he didn’t want to be what the others were, even if that made him “weak”. He started distancing himself from others so he wouldn’t have to explain why he was acting differently. After that, lots of crazy traumatic stuff happened that resulted in him leaving the tribe and meeting other people with different perspectives on what manhood really is. His view starts changing (to his relief), and eventually one of his greatest motives in life is to be different from his tribe. And that’s where he is when my story starts.
Yeah. . . I kind of went crazy with the backstory development. . . XD It was so much fun, though.
SO. The way I’ve written him so far, he’s a bit shy (though far less so than he used to be), a generally cheerful and likeable person, loves cats, is very protective of friends. . . actually, here’s my sister’s description of him, since she’s read my whole story beginning to end as it is:
“Kiet is…a realistic gentleness forged through fire. Realistic in the sense that it is not always natural; sometimes it is strained, but he almost always chooses a selfless (to a fault) kind of kindness. His “selflessness” however can darken towards suicidal ideation though”
I also just found out that in reading, she’s kind of gotten a ‘vibe’ that he doesn’t readily show negative feelings, which makes me feel pretty relieved. 😅
SO, if you managed to make it through that essay, does that sound realistic to either of you? Are there any pieces that don’t sound right, or are there some major flaws? If you need me to, I can totally post a snippet or two of the story where he’s involved.
Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.January 14, 2020 at 10:31 pm #103774DeepRun@deeprun
I think most of that is realistic. Not feeling sure enough of himself (especially always having been an outsider in his tribe), he would be ridiculously devoted to his friends and always trying to make the world good for them. Even to the detriment of himself. Yes, I can see that pretty easily. I was once described as a bulldog. Having the potential bite of extreme force but using that to cling to those who mattered most to me.
I, personally, think it takes this personality type a long time to figure out who they are and how to do life. You always know you’re different. The hard road is what to do with that. Seems like Kiet has started to figure that out but that past trauma could always potentially be entwined with any future dealings.
Also, I might be an odd example but I can’t hide negative feelings for long. They eventually explode. Quite dramatically. That might be an interesting thing to explore with him. What is his breaking point? When would he be crossed enough that he had enough? I’m incredibly loyal but if you violate the inner moral compass, I dissolve into a world of angst; wanting to remain loyal but also not able to have my moral code violated.
You do not have a soul. You have a body.
You are a soul. - C.S. LewisJanuary 14, 2020 at 11:09 pm #103775January 15, 2020 at 1:47 pm #103796
@deeprun @trallion Thanks, you guys! 😀 Yeah, I have a couple points where he kind of explodes. One is where he’s getting protective of a friend. The other is in a situation where he and a friend are having a serious argument over a misunderstanding, and his friend eventually shoves him. Then Kiet blows up and they get into a short-lived fistfight. My MC forces them apart, and Kiet transitions from anger to being wracked with guilt because he felt like he’d failed at being different from his tribe.
Does that sound good? I mean, being an INFP myself, I totally get the “bottling up anger and hurt and eventually exploding it” (though usually I just fantasize about exploding and don’t actually do anything in the moment 😛 ). It’s just helpful having second opinions. 🙂
(And thank you so much for your help so far! 😀 )
Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.January 15, 2020 at 11:31 pm #103814I, David@i-david
@naiya-dyani Based on my own experience, there’s a strong chance the character is given to sharp extremes–of depression and happiness, selfishness and selflessness, openness and isolation–that they probably aren’t even fully aware of. But like Trall said, it also depends on the specific character.
songwriterJanuary 15, 2020 at 11:40 pm #103816
@i-david AGH, yes! I totally get that. I can be (almost literally) bouncing off the walls happy at times, but I can also take deep dives down. Usually when that happens, I’m beating myself up inside and being snappish and irritable to those around me (especially my little brother) (and then beating myself up about that).
ANYway, yeah, I’ll have to make sure I tie some of that in. I think I’ve done a little of that, but I’ll have to check on it.
Heh heh, I’m pretty happy to be an INFP! 😀 Although I’ve seen a few things lately that are making me question whether I’m ENFP or INFP. . . I’m feeling kind of threatened now, because INFP has kind of become part of my personal identity. . . *inner tears*
Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.
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