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Rndm brainstorming post to help each other when we got nothing. Yep.

Forums Fiction Plotting Rndm brainstorming post to help each other when we got nothing. Yep.

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  • #144374
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    @joelle-stone lol tule.  awesomeee

    yea, we should!

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #144377
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    *pops in a-matter-a-factly* I have been summoned tell me there’s cake.

    Ok I gotta question. What’s some creative ways to show mourning over a death? I’ve never been one to show my pain to people, so I’m a very, um, weird I guess, mourner. I don’t cry or anything, I didn’t even cry at my own father’s funeral. So yeah, I don’t really know how to write it. Any tips? (btw I swear I’m not a heartless human being, I just have my own way of dealing with loss and pain I guess)

    Ok, death, I am to talk about death. This sounds deadly. I know like @rose-colored-fancy mentioned a good way to portray grieving is for the characters to act kinda out of character; the sweet time getting mad the cold type breaking down etc. I know I won’t cry past a certain point or cry at absolutely everything (and yeah, I totally get the ‘don’t make a big deal about it’ I refuse to apologize for crying or acknowledge it if I’m in the middle of a conversation, although I do want to be comforted sometimes once I’ve let it out I consider the “grieving thing” over. Was there anything you remember especially about your dad? You don’t have to answer that I can be pretty insensitive!!)
    I think the biggest way people grieve though is all the little things they used to do. My best friend and I broke up like last month or so and I vacillated between reading old emails and throwing myself into projects to forget about it and get over it. Still haven’t told my parents coz I don’t want “to deal with that” (…still working up the nerve to tell them I started a newsletter too even tho they honestly wouldn’t mind at all I’m mostly 100% sure. I’m logically sure…) I just remember feeling numb and like every word I was saying/thinking was wrong (I’m a little intense in case ya haven’t notice :D)
    I think…for example I miss the whispery quality of her voice, I miss how she was constantly dying her hair, I miss her freckles, I miss how we used to bet candy in this boardgame Candyland because I hate boardgames and betting at least made it interesting. We ran outta chocolates once and had to use peppermints.
    Sometimes I think of all the things she did that changed the direction of my life, she does gymnastics and dance so I learned how to do a cartwheel from her, I still practice the exercises she gave me I bought a DVD on ballet because she encouraged me to pursue this and I still do it now. It’s silly things, thinking how much closer we could’ve become, rehearsing every word we said every thing we did and wondering if I could’ve done better, feeling like everything I did was wrong but that I still know I made conscious choices to deepen our friendship and to have difficult conversations and I did horrible but I did my best and it wasn’t enough. Then I kinda wax philosophical and wonder if it’s just who I am that makes me fail even though I realize it takes two people to build a friendship but I know she was doing her best on her end to. I really don’t wanna tell my parents coz I’m afraid they’re gonna take sides.
    After the first two weeks or so you know, I stopped listening to music too loud to try and block it out and I finally told my sister coz she doesn’t make a big deal of it and she’s compassionate toward both sides. I guess I’ve entirely moved on I barely even think about it except when I’m having these awkward conversations (*take note “she crakes jokes as a bad coping mechanism” double take note “she calls herself out on it and does it anyway”) and I might feel guilty for feeling relieved that that’s done. For a while I was thinking “wow this really doesn’t just happen in storybooks I read about this but it actually feels this way, dang, it halfway feels like it’s describe maybe I’m a story character now.” Then you kinda start thinking about the irony of it all coz you have two characters in your story, who were very close, that both feel betrayed by the other person and that was the plot threat before you even had any friends and you kinda think now “well, I guess I know how to write that now, don’t I? Guess if I pour all my grief into that it’ll be a pretty persuasive plot.” Then you wonder if your subconscious mind predicted that from all your actions the way authors accidentally predict historical events, and that makes you wonder if there’s something in you that’s dooming you to fail and is there a way to fix that or be brave enough to be that honest with yourself?
    Then at some point the pain is kinda like being accepted into the club of adulting coz you’re grown now that you understand the pain they keep describing. Then you realize the pain could be a superpower because now you understand and that means you know what to say to help, just a couple times more than before. And for a while everything’s more real than it was before, ya’know, you actually have a reason to be sad but it’s just there like a ridiculously vivid movie and it’s actually maybe a blessing and maybe a curse to feel just a little too deeply. You kinda systematically and impersonally go through all your “symptoms” of losing and then it’s just a thing and you hardly remember it at all.
    Anyway, I’m done plus totally agree with @rose-colored-fancy’s description. Everybody ok now? 😛
    *promptly vanishes in a plume of glitter*

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #144382
    Erynne
    @erynne

    *pops in a-matter-a-factly* I have been summoned tell me there’s cake.

    HAHAHAHAHA sorry nope, Meirah (I know I spelled that wrong or have the wrong name completely, forgive me please) ate it all

    Ok, death, I am to talk about death.

    Yeah, cuz you never do that XD

    This sounds deadly.

    Ba dum tshhh

    and yeah, I totally get the ‘don’t make a big deal about it’ I refuse to apologize for crying or acknowledge it if I’m in the middle of a conversation, although I do want to be comforted sometimes once I’ve let it out I consider the “grieving thing” over. Was there anything you remember especially about your dad? You don’t have to answer that I can be pretty insensitive!!

    Don’t ever apologize for crying!! I cry all the time just not over death for some reason. It’s good to cry and honestly it just feels good to cry ya know?

    Oh boy, I hardly ever forget anything so I habe a list. I’m really, really glad you asked! I even said “aww” out loud when I read that. People normally treat me differently when they find out about my past and it makes me feel bad and regret even opening up to begin with, so thank you for asking.

    He died on Christmas Eve of 2014 (I was 7) so I definitely have several memories of him and I treasure them all. I guess one of my favorites is him and I used to sit on the recliner in our living room in Kansas together and we would watch tv and eat fish sticks with ketchup and mustard mixed together. It honestly sounds disgusting to me now but that’s how he used to do it so that’s how I had to do it. It’s the simplest thing but that’s the only memory that’s mine. It’s not something I’ve been told about over the years or have seen pictures of, it’s just something I remember so it’s different than the others.

    Oh my goodness we are so much more similar than we knew about. My best friend and I got into an argument a few months ago and we just haven’t been good since. I feel the exact same way you do! Our moms are best friends from high school so we’ve known each other literally since I was born so this is very difficult for me. If it would help you to talk about it, I’m here for you. It would probably be good for both us especially since neither of us want to tell our parents. I have one other friend I can talk to ( she’s like a sister to me) who is going through a similar thing with one of her friends, but they weren’t that close to begin with so it’s different. I know this isn’t the place (too many stalkers) so if you’re on Pinterest my user is @erynnehedrick or my email is  erynnehedrick@yahoo.com so please please reach out if you would like someone to talk to. I am a judgment free zone and it will only stay between us. (Anddd I might tell you what my cousin was trying to hack on here as me to ask Noah XD)

    Thank you so much for your advice, I loved reading that so much <3

    Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.

    #144394
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    Have you guys ever thought how horrible it would be married to someone with superpowers?
    They can read your mind,

    they can’t hug you without  accidentally crushing your ribs,

    they can’t kiss you without pulling the air from your lungs,

    you have to fix everything they accidentally break in the house,

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #144396
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    (Anddd I might tell you what my cousin was trying to hack on here as me to ask Noah XD)


    @erynne
    suspicious much?
    Im not a stalker, but I mean, like, that caught my eye. XD

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #144401
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @this-is-not-an-alien

    *Reaches through the screen and gives you a massive hug*

    Oh, honey, I’m so sorry about that friendship-breakup! It’s honestly one of the most underratedly heartbreaking things. I know you were close to her and I hope it gets better soon.

    It’s just awful when friendships break down like that, it always hurts horribly 🙁

    Otherwise, on-topic, pretty much agree with everything you said. Also want to add that grieving doesn’t only happen after the death of a loved one. It happens after a friendship dissolves, after you cut ties with someone, after moving, after leaving a church/community, etc. etc. It’s all very much grief.

    And something else I thought of that I read somewhere but I have no idea where!

    If you’re writing a death scene or any very dramatic scene, there’s a couple things you can do on prose level to make it hit harder. You have to be just a little colder in describing it, like one step more than you think it should be. Don’t hold back or dodge back from it. That would essentially keep you in the safe spot where your reader doesn’t really feel it hurt.

    And something I haven’t read about but that I tried out and found kinda interesting is to use very strong “beautiful” imagery and poetic language. It juxtapositions the shocking scene in a really weird way and it makes it feel even more out of place.

    I think there’s an article that touches on this here on SE, but basically you have to pick out something beautiful to juxtaposition with what’s happening.

    (I just reread that scene to check what I actually did and it felt like punching myself in the face ten consecutive times so I guess it worked.)


    @erynne

    That’s such a beautiful memory of your father 🙂

     

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #144407
    Erynne
    @erynne

    @emma-walker

    XD you should be a stalker, it’s fun. I stalk the entire world


    @rose-colored-fancy

    Thank you! And if you have questions or anything don’t be afraid to ask. I honestly don’t mind. (Just throwing that out there since I know how curious you are about things 😜)


    @this-is-not-an-alien

    I hope that wasn’t pushy. I just want you to know I’m here if you need someone to talk to 🙂

    Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.

    #144408
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    @erynne I can be at times lol

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #144409
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    @erynne @joelle-stone get this, we were driving to visit family and my little sister is sitting next to me, and she goes “Hey, how’s it goin’? The name is Flynn Rider” and I laugh, and she muttered, “I wonder if I can do that stupid face he makes.”
    and I proceed to crack up.

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #144418
    Erynne
    @erynne

    @emma-walker

    YESSS I LOVE HER

    And I think being married to someone with super powers would be absolutely awful, but I’m sure it could be handy at times XD

    Dang, I totally made this like the saddest thread ever 😂

    “my dad died on Christmas Eve in 2014”

    “me and my best friend broke up a month ago”

    “me and my best friend aren’t doing too well either”

    “a member of our church died a few months ago”

    “I CANT DO THE STUPID FLYNN RIDER FACE”

     

    Whelp, I’ll change the mood a bit.

    SIBLINGS. WHAT ARE THEY?

    The meme I saw was showing writers without siblings drinking a cup labeled “sis and little bro” which is not how siblings work. At least not brothers, I’m not sure about sisters. What do sisters call each other???????? I just call my brothers “dork” or “princess” or something like that. Is that how sisters are too? 😂

    Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.

    #144425
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    @erynne Lolol yep.

    Uuuhhh my sister calls me Gracelyn, or Kiwi, or Emu or something.

    i call my other sister Darrick. *nods*

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

    #144430
    Rose
    @rose-colored-fancy

    @erynne

    Thank you! And if you have questions or anything don’t be afraid to ask. I honestly don’t mind. (Just throwing that out there since I know how curious you are about things  )

    You know me too well XD

    The meme I saw was showing writers without siblings drinking a cup labeled “sis and little bro” which is not how siblings work.

    I know exactly what you’re talking about XD

    I can only speak for brothers but I think all siblings have those weird tendencies. I call my brother a variety of names that range from outright insulting to weird inside jokes that are even more insulting. Or something equally ridiculous. Worse is better. (He does the same for me, this is NOT one sided)

    Several examples: “Brethren!!!” “Hey, you,” “[name]!!!” *in an overly delighted, gushy tone*

    We also had a phase where we referred to each other strictly by nationalities on opposite sides of any given war. (We’re both history nerds, this was bound to happen)

    Uuuhhh my sister calls me Gracelyn, or Kiwi, or Emu or something.

    Also, farmyard animals.  Glad to see that’s a theme. He often calls me Sheep. (I don’t know either.)

    Basically, it takes three stories and a dramatic leap of the imagination to understand any given conversation between siblings.

    I’ve just given up on accurately showing sibling relationships in fiction, it’s too bizarre XD

    Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?

    #144433
    Erynne
    @erynne

    @rose-colored-fancy

    You know me too well XD

    I do XD it’s funny considering I don’t even know your real name haha

    I know exactly what you’re talking about XD

    Oh of course you do XD

    I can only speak for brothers but I think all siblings have those weird tendencies. I call my brother a variety of names that range from outright insulting to weird inside jokes that are even more insulting. Or something equally ridiculous. Worse is better. (He does the same for me, this is NOT one sided)

    Several examples: “Brethren!!!” “Hey, you,” “[name]!!!” *in an overly delighted, gushy tone*

    I feels.


    @emma-walker

    Uuuhhh my sister calls me Gracelyn, or Kiwi, or Emu or something.

    i call my other sister Darrick. *nods*

    I love it!

    Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.

    #144434
    Cathy
    @this-is-not-an-alien

    HAHAHAHAHA sorry nope, Meirah (I know I spelled that wrong or have the wrong name completely, forgive me please) ate it all

    LOL GIVE ME CAKE!!!! (you were really close, just added an extra ‘h’ in Meira)

    Yeah, cuz you never do that XD

    Of course 😇

    Don’t ever apologize for crying!! I cry all the time just not over death for some reason. It’s good to cry and honestly it just feels good to cry ya know?

    Human tears secret glands which release a sorta antidepressant hormone relaxing the stress hormones or something scientific like that…

    Oh boy, I hardly ever forget anything so I habe a list. I’m really, really glad you asked! I even said “aww” out loud when I read that. People normally treat me differently when they find out about my past and it makes me feel bad and regret even opening up to begin with, so thank you for asking.

    Oh yes! I really hate being treated differently if I say something; I want to be understood not pitied and I’ve always felt like talking about something that hurt you is an act of trust and deepening a relationship. (Plus mental conversation guideline 2020: “if someone willingly talks about they’re willing to talk about it.” and it’s rather insulting when people try to avoid it then, isn’t it?) I’m really glad we can just talk about it and not make a big deal of it, so thanks too!!

    He died on Christmas Eve of 2014 (I was 7) so I definitely have several memories of him and I treasure them all. I guess one of my favorites is him and I used to sit on the recliner in our living room in Kansas together and we would watch tv and eat fish sticks with ketchup and mustard mixed together. It honestly sounds disgusting to me now but that’s how he used to do it so that’s how I had to do it. It’s the simplest thing but that’s the only memory that’s mine. It’s not something I’ve been told about over the years or have seen pictures of, it’s just something I remember so it’s different than the others.

    Isn’t it so funny all the weird things we’ll eat when we’re little kids? My mom used to put ranch on my broccoli to get me to eat it and that just sounds so gross!
    But it’s so sweet those little moments though, how it brings up a warm image and all the tiny sensations of someone else’s personality and how it just connects you, isn’t amazing the moments when you can just sit and understand and know you’re being understood. It’s like a little piece of heaven..
    So yeah other people’s memories of it just aren’t same, even tho they are beautiful too, they’re different and little more faded.

    Thank you so much for your advice, I loved reading that so much <3

    No problem! *actually *dang y did I give that much information dang I have overshared dang that was bad* and then reading your post *whewww, ok I feel better now, not turning into a soapopera that’s a relief**

    *Reaches through the screen and gives you a massive hug* Oh, honey, I’m so sorry about that friendship-breakup! It’s honestly one of the most underratedly heartbreaking things. I know you were close to her and I hope it gets better soon. It’s just awful when friendships break down like that, it always hurts horribly

    *squeezes back*
    Thanks, *shrugs awkwardly* I’m pretty fine now but if you could pray for her I’d like that <3 It is an underrated thing, like why does every novel heartbreak have to be romantic!?! It’s tacky and unrealistic *from someone who has never had any romantic interest in any real human*
    Yeah, it does hurt with friendships <3

    Otherwise, on-topic, pretty much agree with everything you said. Also want to add that grieving doesn’t only happen after the death of a loved one. It happens after a friendship dissolves, after you cut ties with someone, after moving, after leaving a church/community, etc. etc. It’s all very much grief.

    Absolutely! If you can present the same emotional depth without a death, do it!

    And something else I thought of that I read somewhere but I have no idea where! If you’re writing a death scene or any very dramatic scene, there’s a couple things you can do on prose level to make it hit harder. You have to be just a little colder in describing it, like one step more than you think it should be. Don’t hold back or dodge back from it. That would essentially keep you in the safe spot where your reader doesn’t really feel it hurt. And something I haven’t read about but that I tried out and found kinda interesting is to use very strong “beautiful” imagery and poetic language. It juxtapositions the shocking scene in a really weird way and it makes it feel even more out of place.

    That yes! I agree, I also might add “worrying about insanely stupid things” like something you told yourself you’d do earlier that day like return change you borrowed to the person who’s dying or do some chore even tho everything’s so changed that’s not something you need to do anymore or if somebody asks you how you’re doing you’re just like logically “I think I’m sleepy.” or “I’m hungry, I need to fix something to eat.” anything that just sounds so eerily normal or just acting kinda crass because it hasn’t processed.

    Don't let the voices in your head drive you insane;only some of them can drive; most are underage

    #144435
    Emma Walker
    @emma-walker

    @erynne *bows* XD

    "If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth Elliott

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