November 21, 2021 at 11:14 pm #144285
I’ll tell her that. XD
"If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth ElliottNovember 21, 2021 at 11:27 pm #144289Erynne@erynne
Anyone else have suggestions for my question?
Here’s my post:
Ok I gotta question. What’s some creative ways to show mourning over a death?
I’ve never been one to show my pain to people, so I’m a very, um, weird I guess, mourner. I don’t cry or anything, I didn’t even cry at my own father’s funeral. So yeah, I don’t really know how to write it. Any tips?
(btw I swear I’m not a heartless human being, I just have my own way of dealing with loss and pain I guess)
I know I keep posting this but I really need several ideas and this keeps getting buried
I’ll just tag some fellers
- This reply was modified 8 months, 4 weeks ago by Erynne.
Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.November 22, 2021 at 4:08 am #144299Rose@rose-colored-fancy
First of all, I’m really sorry about your dad 🙁
Okay, I’ve written about this in several variations.
I’m going to start by contradicting Joelle XD
One tip would be to make sure you have a LOT of internal monologue.
Yes, internal monologue is important, but not too much. I’ve found that it’s the fastest way to make anything melodramatic. If a character just died and you focus on internal monologue you’ll inevitably sound like “And my heart shattered. And my soul tore in two. And my heartbroken heartbreak… broke?”
(I’m only insulting myself, that’s exactly how my first draft sounded. XD)
There’s only so many ways you can phrase grief and shock in internal monologue. Something I’ve found out from myself is that whenever something shocking happened, I just go numb and quiet. It feels like I’m not thinking and I’m definitely not feeling.
I’ll be able to composedly finish whatever I’m doing because I’m not feeling. It’s only when I need to tell someone else that it gets to be too much and I start crying. (This isn’t necessarily about death, just any shocking occurance.)
So I try to show that in my writing by completely cutting the internal monologue during a shocking event and for a short while after, until the realization hits.
Instead, I focus on extreme detail. The character notices all kinds of tiny things and describes them to utmost detail. It’s almost like zooming in with a camera, and it just seems to keep going and going and like the scene just won’t end.
The character isn’t thinking about the big picture, they’re just so horribly trapped in that single instant.
(I’m not sure how well it works, but it’s an approach I’ve been trying. I might change it later.)
I’ve found that 9/10 death scenes are poorly paced. When I usually don’t cry it means it was over too fast. If it’s over in an instant, I just… don’t register. When it takes a really long time (including the breaking-the-news and realization moments) it tends to hurt wayyy worse.
For the rest, I’d say having characters ‘break character’ always hits hard. When the arrogant, closed-off character starts crying in public, not caring who sees them, and the gentle, soft-spoken character becomes furious and lashes out, it stands out.
I think the key, no matter what you do, is to show how much it affects them, no matter how they show it. The thing about characters breaking down and crying is that it’s extreme emotion. You can use any other emotion if you really want to. Extreme anger, to the point of blinding bitterness also works well, but even something like desperately trying to hide their horrible grief behind jokes and lightheartedness.
For everything else, I agree with Joelle. Every character grieves differently, and none of them are wrong. All of them are interesting if you just show that it’s turned their world upside down.
I might not have answered your question exactly like you wanted, but this is the best I can do, I hope it helped some.
Without darkness, there is no light. If there was no nighttime, would the stars be as bright?November 22, 2021 at 8:51 am #144301Erynne@erynne
Thank you but please don’t make a big deal about it. Like I told Emma, I don’t tell many people because they treat me differently and think they can’t ask questions when I really want them too. They also throw a huge pity party and although it’s nice to see they care, it gets on my nerves. After all, it’s just another story I get to tell people 🙂 I just needed an example to show that I deal with everything differently and that was what came to mind. I was really young so I’ve been over it for years.
Anyways, that is great advice and I will for sure be using your suggestions. Although reading that made me sad that I have to put my poor characters through that! They’re gonna hate me 😂
Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you ever know who would love the person you hide.November 22, 2021 at 10:40 am #144310
Alrighty Peoples. So a birthday party of sorts, it’s winter and they are ice skating. What all could happen while they do that? It’s Prince Edward’s fifteenth birthday, he and his little sister are staying the winter at Mikin Mansion. Lorii, his sister is 12. With them you have my Wiley kids, Flint (14), Greta (13), Henry (11) and Ivy (Almost 9), these four saw snow the first time ever a month before, so there’s that. there’s also some adults, Aspen and Cassidy Blaine, the Wiley kids’ older sister and brother in law, and Alexander Karson, Cassidy’s older bro. And the Duke and Duchess. What happens during this little ice skating bday party thing? Does something go wrong? Something unexpected but cool? I needs ideas, prompts, anything you can shoot at me. XD
"If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth ElliottNovember 22, 2021 at 12:32 pm #144314Noah Cochran@noah-cochran
They’re skating over the ice and see a body floating beneath it. They then try to solve the crime. That’s all I’ve got. 🙂November 22, 2021 at 12:40 pm #144315
@noah-cochran Lol, wow
"If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth ElliottNovember 22, 2021 at 12:42 pm #144317Noah Cochran@noah-cochran
Hey, don’t you dare disrespect corpses floating under ice. 😉
I’m a murder mystery lover, so excuse my morbid ideas. 🙂November 22, 2021 at 12:56 pm #144318
@noah-cochran Lolol understand but think of the kids! XD the youngest is like 8
"If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth ElliottNovember 22, 2021 at 1:56 pm #144319Winter Rose@winter_rose
Sabotage? Someone falls through the ice and they think it’s an accident but it was all planned.
Or maybe someone goes missing and they see a hole in the ice and they think the person is underwater but they are actually kidnapped or lost or something.
Something unexpected but cool?
Something is glowing under the ice and creatures start swarming, trying to get to the strange object.
What I know in my head and what I believe in my heart are two entirely different things.November 22, 2021 at 2:02 pm #144320
@winter_rose Woahhhhh yasssss make the readers think I pulled a cliche but I really didn’t XD
oooo wonder what it is….
"If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth ElliottNovember 22, 2021 at 3:18 pm #144321Sarah@ajstoryteller
We lost a member of our church last year. It’s a small church so our members are tightly knit group, and she’s been a part of it for as long as I can remember. So there was a variety of reactions to it. My mom was very close with her and still struggles with it, she was more open with her emotions about it. My best friend, her grandson, told me he felt numb about it. Like he knew he should feel something but couldn’t. I switched between both of those. I was aware of what had happened but as long as the evidence wasn’t in front of me I was fine.
We still had hope, because she was a Christian and we knew we’d see her again, but for now we missed her presence.
I’d agree on not showing an internal monologue. I’d focus on the character’s symptoms. Grief can be felt physically, heaviness in the chest, a cold, shaken feeling. My thoughts were never on her when I was grieving. I just felt it. Over time, people grieving can look more fragile, older. Some grow quiet, as if a part them died with that person. It can wear down on someone.
Some people will do everything they can to distract or distance themselves. Other’s minds just refuse to process it fully until months down the line. Some have, or appear to deal with it easier, where others are broken by it. Some withdraw from everyone else, others will seek comfort in crowds.
Grief is a relevant thing to my story as well, though the lost individuals have been long gone, that grief is still present.
I don’t know if I was much help, but I felt I should add my experience.November 23, 2021 at 1:58 pm #144365Joelle Stone@joelle-stone
A random human being throws a snowball at the Duke. Not sure how he’d react, but they find a hidden message inside a capsule in the snowball, which leads them on a mystery.
The brother-in-law gets in a fight with the other brothers, causing someone to be hurt (either physically or emotionally, not sure XD).
They find a flower. Growing inside the ice. Blooming. With bugs on it. *grinz*
A mysterious creature inside the ice – maybe dangerous, maybe shy, maybe a bit of both. 😉
Hope this helps! (Also, ever heard of The Young Writer’s Workshop? I feel like I’ve seen you around on there before… XD)
https://thepeninspired.wordpress.comNovember 23, 2021 at 3:03 pm #144370
@joelle-stone Awesome! Those are great.
Yea, actually. I didn’t think you’d recognize my name, although I knew who you were. I was a part of Ydubs around the beginning of 2020, but had to leave. I always join Crazy Writing Week, though, and hope to be able to apply for the Author Conservatory for next fall.
"If your goal is purity in heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." -Elisabeth ElliottNovember 23, 2021 at 3:19 pm #144371Joelle Stone@joelle-stone
I’m going to start by contradicting Joelle XD
ROSE!! *pretend shock* HOW DAREST THOU?!!? (But great advice – I’ll definitely be using that in the future!!)
Oof, yeah, let me clarify the monologue bit up some… Don’t overdo it. XDDD And make sure it fits with the charrie. *has one charrie who literally can’t think, and another who can’t think in complete sentences* Sowwy for the confusion. 😉
AHA I KNEW IT!! I joined in August, so that makes sense. 😉 Yeah, I’ve seen you on the CWWs!!! Hey, we’ll have to sprint together in January… 😛
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