November 1, 2022 at 2:21 pm #154708Joshua Scheele@storysmith
@everyone I am currently battling with the start of my first chapter. We jump into a scene of a young girl (MC Princess Sylvendra) doing her best to keep the slavers away from her younger siblings and friends with her stolen dagger. She does not speak but roars and screams with rage and frustration as the evil men mercilessly jeer, beat, and toy with her. They soon find out her hunters also become the hunted as a stalking horde of monsters pen them in and pounces.
I am currently going for an omniscient 3rd person narration as no one has been formally introduced yet and no one knows anyone’s names. I was going to give Sylvendra’s perspective, but far as anyone knows, this is just a scared/traumatized girl who is out of her mind and kinda seems mad/feral with her ferocity.
Then, of course, when it seems the monsters are about to win, it is they who already lost the battle as the real predator springs its trap upon both monsters and slavers. I am going to then introduce the first main character (MC Princess Sylvendra’s mentor) Valdunar and his small army, The Sanguine Brigade, which both evil parties know too well and dread. The militaristic band swipe the kids right out of their claws right before they give the bad guys the worst tanning they have ever had. XD
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I was wondering what y’all think of this plan with the 3rd person omniscient pov and should I change it? I plan to move to Valdunar’s pov as he his band take in the kids and try to find their home of origin which happens to be not far away but can’t get a word or name out the traumatized kids especially the eldest girl (Sylvendra). They are most interested in understanding the silent, scared, but incredibly tough girl who took the beating of a life time for her loved ones but never stopped fighting. It is not until they retrace the kids’ trail, they finally understand everything and she may be a curse but also a great blessing to their pursuit for peace and prosperity. I hope that all made sense. Lol XD</p>
A real hero remains accountable until the end.
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