- This topic has 17 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 2 months ago by Anonymous.
May 5, 2018 at 4:35 pm #33685Anonymous
Okay, so I have this scene I need some help with. I asked this on KP, but I thought I would post it here to in case some more people want to help me. My MC is an eighteen year old guy who is returning home after not being able to see his family for two years. His family has thought him dead for over a year. What would these peoples responses be when he shows up one night: his Father, his Mother, his ten year old brother, and the elderly servant woman.
Any ideas how they would react?May 5, 2018 at 5:59 pm #33692
@ariel-ashira Oooh, this sounds interesting! 😀 What sort of people are his family members and on what terms did he leave on? Off the top of my head, I think his mother might faint, the servant woman might scream, his father might stumble or just stare at him, and his ten-year-old brother might run to hug him. What they say will depend a lot on their personalities (i.e. if his brother is grumpy he’s probably not going to go hug him and say “I knew you’d come back!” 😛 )
I hope that helps!
"Beauty will save the world." - DostoevskyMay 6, 2018 at 1:02 pm #33720Anonymous
@morreafirebird He has a good, supportive family. Its set in ancient Jerusalem in the time of Jesus, and how he leaves is he gets thrown in the galleys by the Romans for a “crime” that really is understandable. So, under amazing circumstances, he wins his freedom and returns home two years later. His family has thought him dead, because hardly anyone ever gets out of the galleys, and the typical maximum life span in the galleys is a year. His family almost dies in the meantime too, by the way.
Also, so you think he might feel a little intimidated when he goes back? Overjoyed to see his family, but maybe also a bit scared and unsure?
Thanks for answering! He also has a little sister, but its easier for me to figure her out. 🙂May 6, 2018 at 1:58 pm #33724
I really like this premise Ariel. 🙂
If he actually committed the crime they might be hesitant to accept him back into their lives. But if he were innocent or they didn’t consider his “crime” a real crime I think they’d be overjoyed to have him back.
I think when it all plays out in the story matters too. If he comes home halfway through the story, you might want to add some negativity to his return, maybe his presence makes his family a target to the Romans in the area because they do consider him a criminal or something along those lines, that way there’s conflict to carry readers to the end. But if it’s the end of a long and terrible journey back home, having his family alive and rushing to hug him might be just the right note to leave your readers on.
Hope this helps!May 6, 2018 at 7:30 pm #33742Allison Grace@allison-grace
@ariel-ashira Hmm. It sort of depends. Perhaps they were sort of glad he was gone. They didn’t have to worry about him, feed him, love him, etc. anymore. Maybe they didn’t get along. OR, they care very much about him and were devastated when they thought he was dead.
If they didn’t miss him, I would expect hostility, anger, and general coldness.
If they missed him, I would expect tears of joy, hugs, and general rejoicing.
It also depends on the personalities of the characters. If they are typically stoic, to have them crying and freaking out that he’s home would be kinda strange. 🙂 But, then again, showing a typically serious character showing emotion would show us how much they care about the returning boy.
Hope that helped!
"I cannot live without books." -Thomas JeffersonMay 6, 2018 at 8:57 pm #33767
@ariel-ashira oh, wow, I love that premise! 😀
Unless he’s an uber-confident guy, I think he’ll definitely feel nervous, especially if his family might actually think he committed the crime. Or even if they didn’t believe that when he left, he might wonder if they came to think he was guilty while he was gone. He also might think they died in the war, etc. I think you’re going to have a lot of possibilities to experiment with depending on what kind of reaction you want readers to have here 🙂
"Beauty will save the world." - DostoevskyMay 7, 2018 at 8:54 am #33794Anonymous
@linz @morreafirebird @allison-grace Thank you! You guys are really helpful. I have it so that his family is clear of crime in the eyes of the Romans. And so is he. They are watched, but not still attacked. I’ll have to think about whether or not his family thinks he might be guilty. What he did was not right, but very understandable. When a roman guard abuses his sister, he attacks the guard and nearly kills him. Then he is sent to the galleys, his sister dies three days later (but he doesn’t hear the news until he is returning) and his family is nearly killed as well because the whole family is suspected and the Romans don’t ask many questions. They are devistated, but I think they would still be amazed and glad when he returns. What do you think?
Also, how do you think Joshua (my MC we’ve talking about) would take the news about his sister dying? He also has a sidekick/friend named Daniel with him when he comes back, whose father dies while he is gone. How do you think they would break the news to him, and how would he react?May 8, 2018 at 8:23 pm #34060
@ariel-ashira I think that would work great! And the poor family…. 😛
Oh goodness, Joshua would likely be devastated. It’s defending his sister that got him there in the first place, so learning she’s dead will probably have a major blow on him as a character (I’m not sure what type of character arc he’s undergoing, but this scene will probably be a major turning point for him). As for the friend…I’m thinking the scene would start off with a joyful reunion, at least on Daniel’s part. Then Joshua would choke out the news or some such. Like trying to talk with a huge stone lodged in his throat, I’d imagine.
"Beauty will save the world." - DostoevskyMay 8, 2018 at 10:45 pm #34090
Audrey had some great points. They also might be hesitant with him after initial happiness as they decide how to tell him his sister died. After all, he wanted to save her no matter what even if it meant going to prison or being killed, so they might be worried Joshua would react violently when he finds out. Just one more layer to consider. (I also don’t know what arc he is going through or what part of that arc he’ll be on when he gets back home so I’m not sure if you need the threat of more conflict here. 🙂 )May 9, 2018 at 8:53 am #34112AnonymousMay 9, 2018 at 11:25 am #34132
I think it would but you’d have to make it believable to his personality. He would need to be the type prone to rash decisions and quick to anger. Someone who acts without thinking or worrying about the consequences. 🙂May 10, 2018 at 8:56 pm #34359Allison Grace@allison-grace
@ariel-ashira I like the idea! I think it will work.
Btw, one of my mainish characters is named Joshua too! 🙂
"I cannot live without books." -Thomas JeffersonMay 10, 2018 at 9:40 pm #34378May 11, 2018 at 1:39 pm #34454
@ariel-ashira it would definitely depend on his personality, like @linz said, but yes, I think that would be totally believable 🙂
"Beauty will save the world." - DostoevskyMay 14, 2018 at 10:56 am #34760Anonymous
@morreafirebird Okay, thank you! I’m thinking to not do it that way because he is not a very angry person who makes decisions like that.
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