October 12, 2019 at 3:34 am #98642camohunter19@camohunter19
It’s hard to explain without completely dumping my outline in here, but basically, I’m writing a story about how the fox turned red. The thing that gets the fox in trouble is that originally, he is seeking God to know him, but after a group of starlings entice the fox with worldly goods (the sweetest berries and softest feathers), the fox wants to see God to get those items, over seeing God for the good of his own soul.
Eventually the Fox is supposed to realize that he doesn’t need to see God to get what he wants from the starlings, so he lies to them.
I’m at the part where the fox is supposed to realize that he can lie, and I don’t know how to write it. I can’t say that “the Fox realized that he could lie to the Starlings,” because that’s super meh. The POV is close enough to the Fox to see a flash of a thought or two, but I don’t like the narrator too deep into my character’s heads because I like to be able to pan around.
Bottom line: How do I transition naturally into the Fox realizing that he can lie to get what he wants?October 13, 2019 at 9:16 am #98709Naiya Dyani@naiya-dyani
@camohunter19 Ooh, tricky one! Hmm, that requires some thought. . .
I’m trying to think of how kids realize they can lie when they’re little. It just seems (frighteningly) natural to them, though, you know? Like they don’t want mom to know what they did, so they automatically lie to cover it up.
I don’t know the exact flavor/tone of your stories, so my suggestions may not work, but you could try doing something like having the fox watch some other creature tricking another without words (like, hiding something? Don’t have an exact instance in mind) and kind of has this epiphany that he can trick the starlings using words?
I’ll keep thinking on this. I’d love to read your story when you’re done, by the way!
Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.October 16, 2019 at 6:03 pm #99048duskflower@duskflower
I agree with Naiya – it seems like lying comes out naturally under stress. I would say maybe he answers a simple question tentatively or accidentally with the wrong answer, or maybe he doesn’t say anything at all (or just stammers) and the others naturally assume that he saw God (or whatever his lie is), causing him to realize he can make them believe other things and starts deliberately saying things that aren’t true. Or maybe it’s accidental and he keeps it up out of embarrassment because the truth is harder to admit at this point and then he realizes he can manipulate it to his advantage. Maybe, to seal the deal, he quickly picks up on the fact that he needs to seem convincing and adjusts his lying accordingly. I feel that the moment when kids go from “Noooo *giggle*” to saying wrong things with a straight face is when they’re fully lying and when it turns into something grievous.October 17, 2019 at 7:05 pm #99086Edmund Lloyd Fletcher@edmund-lloyd-fletcher
Maybe it starts small, with over-exaggerating, remaining silent when a false assumption is in his favor, or other instances of “not technically a lie” and then it can get worse from there.
Or maybe he sees somebody else do it and they got away with it, so…
(And, of course, that also fits with the “I’m not as bad as that other guy” line of thinking)
Homeschooling father of 10, writing Christian action/adventure novels from my home high in the Rockies.October 17, 2019 at 8:34 pm #99088camohunter19@camohunter19
@duskflower I think I’ll have to work out some things–like instead of him having to go to the starlings after he finds God, the starlings check in on him, or maybe they are getting impatient. Then something is misunderstood about him like you and @edmund-lloyd-fletcher reccommended, and badda bing, badda boom, he’s caught up in a huge lie that he decides to perpetuate because it is beneficial to him. Thanks you guys 🙂
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