fb

Lyrical Poems are Welcome here!

Forums Poetry Poetry Discussions Lyrical Poems are Welcome here!

Viewing 15 posts - 331 through 345 (of 415 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #105299
    Andrew Schmidt
    @andrew

    @Dakota, thanks!

    Random Stranger: "What do you want to do when you grow up?"
    Me: "Write every inch of your future."

    #105969
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @parker   @vic @andrew   @libby  @jenwriter17 @nuetrobolt  @ericawordsmith @jane-maree @serenity @the-fledgling-artist   @katthewriter  @e-b-raulands   @emberynus-the-dragonslayer ( please tag some others who think might like this)

    This is my very latest one! Critique heartlessly and enjoy!

    Awaken the Dawn
    Up the pale granite heights I climb.
    Up to the summit scale and then stand to see hues sublime
    As the skies fade from black to blue.
    Watching as they deck themselves, I know morn will soon ensue.
    To the hills I’ll always be drawn
    To awaken the dawn.

    Like a knight clothed in almandite ( a deep red garnet )
    Unto the heights arises the sun, so blinding in light.
    He arrays graying clouds in cloaks
    Stained in the shades autumn and the roses’ gown invokes.
    Above hills Masterstrokes are drawn
    With awakening dawn.

    Now in brilliant light he shines.
    All of the heaven dances joyous, clothed in carmines.
    Now my heart arises and thrills
    As to the strings my fingers spring. The music now spills
    Over the hills. A song I’ll spawn
    And awaken the dawn.

    Let the notes from my fingers flow
    Over the chaos cascade the sweetest tones I know.
    In the wind this anthem may blow
    And awaken the dawn.
    Let the melody melt the cold
    Inside of me. Let praise from within run forth tenfold.
    To be praising is my desire
    Unto the One who sets the sun and the dawn afire
    Over the hills a song I’ll spawn
    And awaken the dawn.

    On this wind my hair’s high-flown.
    Upon its gusts the music is unbroken and blown.
    May this day my lips be swift
    To with unbroken joy, though sorrow’s surrounding, lift
    Up a song. Almighty has won
    Oh, awaken the dawn!

    Now as victorious He reigns.
    All the redeemed dance rejoicing, washed free from stains.
    Now my heart arises and thrills
    As on the strings my fingers dance. The music now spills
    Over the hills. A song I’ll spawn
    And awaken the dawn.

    Let the notes from my fingers flow!
    Over the chaos cascade the sweetest tones I know!
    In the wind this anthem may blow
    And awaken the dawn.
    Let the melody melt the cold
    Inside of me. Let praise from within run forth tenfold!
    To be praising is my desire.
    Unto the One who sets the sun and the dawn afire
    Over the hills a song I’ll spawn
    And awaken the dawn.

    All the sins are forgiven now.
    Of my Redeemer’s Love not one doubt will I allow.
    Let the love from my soul now flow!
    Up to the Savior sing out the sweetest notes I know
    And awaken the dawn.
    May this day my lips be swift
    To with unbroken joy, though sorrow’s surrounding, lift
    Up a song. Almighty has won
    Oh, awaken the dawn!

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

    #105970
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @kari-karast


    @tdprince


    @w-o-holmes


    @naiya-dyani


    @urwen-starial

    Lyrical Poems are Welcome here!

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

    #105973
    Katthewriter
    @katthewriter

    @dakota

    I won’t be any help cuz i know nothing about poetry…. xD sorry, but wrong person.

    Horses, art, maybe some writing. Sure.  But poetry? I failed it in English xD

    #105975
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @katthewriter If you want me to take you off the tag list, then I can do that. But, if you still want to read and enjoy them, then that’s fine too! 🙂

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

    #105977
    Katthewriter
    @katthewriter

    @dakota

    Maybe…? Not cuz i don’t like them or anything, i just am really busy, and don’t usually have time to get to them. . And i won’t give you any critique help of how to make it better.

    Idk. I don’t want to hurt your feelings

    #105978
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @katthewriter No, that’s totally fine! No offense taken. 🙂 I’ll not tag you anymore.

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

    #106001
    Naiya Dyani
    @naiya-dyani

    @Dakota I’m not exactly great at knowing how to critique poetry (just because it seems like an even more personal, individual thing than fiction), but I can at least say that was great! I really like your ability to paint images with your words and express your love for God through them.

     

    Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.

    #106002
    Naiya Dyani
    @naiya-dyani

    Here’s one I wrote on a whim last night, by the way. 🙂 (Title uncertain still; if you have ideas please share)

    Solitary Flames

    On the hillside in the dark
    I stare up at the stars—
    Those distant, burning, lonely worlds
    Hovering fierce afar.

    They blink and waver, lone and proud,
    Callous, cold, and clear.
    They send a chill straight through my heart—
    Their heartless creed I hear.

    The stars on high are beautiful—they’re beautiful and hard.
    The loneliness they speak cannot be sung by any bard.
    They see you not, they pity not, they simply swirl and burn
    Speaking great, dark emptiness with our world’s every turn.

    I step back down the hillside,
    Mud and sod beneath my feet
    The heavy clouds, the driving rain—
    They never felt so sweet.

    A flame soon grows within my heart,
    Far warmer than the sky’s. . .
    For past the cold, dark loneliness,
    Home, true and lasting, lies.

    Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.

    #106128
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @naiya-dyani  I really like this!! 🙂 I think the title.

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

    #106238
    Naiya Dyani
    @naiya-dyani

    @Dakota Thanks!

    Hearts are like matter--they can be beaten down, torn, and burned, but they cannot be destroyed.

    #107401
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @parker   @vic @andrew   @libby  @jenwriter17 @nuetrobolt  @ericawordsmith @jane-maree @serenity @the-fledgling-artist @urwen-starial @e-b-raulands   @emberynus-the-dragonslayer ( please tag some others who think might like this)

    Okay . . . *holds breath a moment* This is one wrote a while ago, but I wanted it to make it my best work yet. But every time I came back to and tried refine it, I couldn’t find anything to change! If anybody in my tag list sees anything  I don’t see, critique me and tell me! And I hope you enjoy!

    The Lyric, the Music and the Song
    (the theme song for one of my characters, which is another reason I’m nervous about posting it)

    Songs are like seeds, up they sprout and grow.
    Truth waters their soil with Living Water’s flow.
    Reach skyward in rapture the SonLight to capture,
    Buds now appearing, notes from me springing, awaiting a chord.

    Music unfolding from me to You
    Heart yearning that lyrics I write cling unto
    Truths You taught while living. Let my life be giving
    Laud to Your story. Honor and glory unto You my Lord

    Faith is the lyric that my lips must sing.
    I rush to my fortress ever enduring.
    I will believe and obey the voice who will stay
    My throbbing heart in seasons of fear.
    Though the demons ever sneer,
    Faith is the lyric that my lips must sing.

    Hope is the music to which souls are drawn.
    They drift about, no rock to anchor on.
    I must tell them they’re lost but at highest cost
    His blood spilling out atoned
    For the debt that we all owed.
    Hope is the music to which souls are drawn.

    Love is the song of the Redeemer’s heart.
    He carefully crafts our lives into finest art.
    I rest in His hands knowing that He weaves the strands
    Of life into His story untold
    From tatters beauty to behold.
    Love is the song of the Redeemer’s heart.

    Three petals unfold to reveal my soul.
    Three parts in one song to make a purpose whole.
    I pray that my song rings with Your symphony strong-
    Faith as the lyric, hope as the music and love as the song.

    Music is the essence on the passing breeze.
    I must offer up my life, fall upon my knees.
    But let these my songs bring with trembling to my King-
    Faith as the lyric, hope as the music and love as the song.

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

    #107402
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @kari-karast


    @tdprince


    @w-o-holmes


    @naiya-dyani

    Lyrical Poems are Welcome here!

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

    #107403
    Jenna Terese
    @jenwriter17

    @dakota That’s beautiful! 😀

    "If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write." -Martin Luther
    www.jennaterese.com

    #107404
    Dakota
    @dakota

    @jenwriter17 Thank you so much!  🙂

    Psalm 119:11
    Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.

Viewing 15 posts - 331 through 345 (of 415 total)
  • The forum ‘Poetry Discussions’ is closed to new topics and replies.

Pin It on Pinterest